Di ambang 2006

New year is coming in fast and the first thought that crosses my mind is will i see the end of it as i have 2005? if a marriage or relationship can go wrong in a million different ways so can our lives. death is certain and most times it comes without warning. i pray for a long, happy, healthy life.... not only for me but for family and friends. and that includes you too, my fellow bloggers.

I'm in a melancholic mood. tonite will be my last nite with Abe before he leaves for ashgabat tomorrow morning. i cant even begin to describe my feelings as i sit here and wait for him to return from his morning game. its like a dull ache and a slow bruising of the soul. i need to be with him, cant bear the thought of 'losing' him, yet another 'goodbye' is inevitable. such is the sacrifice that one makes in the name of practicality & rationality.

- its only practical that i take care of family & home while he takes care of business

- its only rational that we dont risk the children's health & future by moving to a country whose medical facilities & education is questionable.

But when is the heart ever really practical or rational ? How do i rid myself of this ache, this pain, this loneliness?

Friends have been endlessly teasing me about the sex (or lack of) but although i'm not saying it isnt important bcoz it is (gawd, the gnawing need that sometimes surface at the most inopportune times), its also the other stuff that 'old' married couples enjoy which i miss so much - the snoring that accompanies the snuggling, the bitching that laces the sharing, the grumpiness that follows the giving...... oh i could go on and on. but arising from all that familiarity, is the blessed acceptance of the many imperfections between 2 individuals and that sense of belonging.

I didnt have any roots and had me a wild & restless soul but then he came along and somehow... he grounds me; he's my akar tunjang. they say i'm a strong person but thing is, part of my strength comes from him. and though i carry on as indeed i must, he's taken a part of me with him. i grew up a soldier's daughter and to think i cut myself loose from everything & anything to do with the army just because i didnt want to be an 'isteri yg ditinggal2kan' !!

Am i optimistic of 2006? of course i am because i'm like that but it will certainly be hard managing with only half of me to call my own.


Neeways.... HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Energy zapping

i've almost forgotten how much i hate running in the late afternoon.

gawd, its just too much hard work. trust me, heat and humidity DO NOT go well with age!! after only a couple of metres into the lap and my energy was already depleting drastically. i felt like a sieve with the energy draining outta me in no time at all. by the end of my run, instead of feeling empowered, i was left feeling old and feeble. yuk, i know i'm old but i sure as hell dont have to be reminded of it lol.

all the more reason why i was quite surprised to find out that i was actually doing good time!!!

1 lap= 3.8 km = 25 mins :)

but i cant seem to kick this lethargy.

and the fact that the man will be leaving soon certainly isnt helping at all *HUGE SIGH*

Berpijak dibumi nyata

Woe is me.

It's very unfortunate that i've unintentionally caused 'heartache' to a fellow blogger's wife by sending out an email to him in response to an enquiry made at my blog. dayyum... i should've known better and just kept the comments between blogs. but being a makcik yg dah krepot and feeling ancient enough to be a mom to most of you, i thought nothing of sending out the email. i guess i crossed the line there and have hurt people. for that i am sorry. it was never my intention and its certainly a hard lesson learned.

But being a wife myself, i do know where she's coming from.

The relationship that a husband & wife share is actually very delicate and needs a lot of work on both sides to keep it not only going but going strong. we sometimes forget how fragile it is once the years pile up and start taking things for granted. there're so many things that can get in the way of a happy marriage so much so that if we keep focusing on the negative stuff, life will eventually come to a standstill.

I've been married for 22 years now and yes, it has been wonderful years... years for which i am deeply thankful. my dua is that it will remain this way forever. but coming from a broken family and growing up the way i did, i have no illusions whatsoever about it. i know that all the love, time and energy i've poured into this marriage does not at all guarantee that this happiness will last. without the Lord's blessing it could have turned any which way and even now, after all's been said and done, the only thing holding things harmoniously together is His mercy.

Can i rest on my laurels for the happy years spent together? heck no, because anything can happen. we wont know until we're tested. i worry that my hubby is away from me. and if i let my imagination run amok and think of what he could be doing in that big empty house, thousands of miles away from me & the kids, i get this gut wrenching pain that cuts away my breathing and leaves me incapacitated. and it takes almost all of my strength not to dwell on all the possibilities and to just carry on. after all, if things were destined to happen it could happen right here under my nose. relationships, like everything else, are never entirely within our control.

To me the greatest threat is not the many beautiful 'one of' hostesses or SYT's strutting all over the place. i am wary of the women that a man has to deal with every day; the face that he sees day in, day out and the interactions that he shares. because i believe that beauty is not necessarily the main attraction but its the intimacy or kemesraan that breaks down walls (if there was any to begin with) *huge sigh* its tough being a woman and tougher being a wife. we have to be supportive & understanding but on the other hand, we musnt be push overs. but where's the line that marks the two?

And the longer i'm married the greater is my struggle to find that elusive balance. harmony does not come easy. jangan terlalu curiga tetapi berwaspada. a certain amount of trust must be in place for it to be workable.

Lets pray for the Lord's continuous mercy on all of us.

Telor lady

alhamdulillah the nephew's wedding reception went well, give and take a couple of glitches. my bro in law can surely stand proud that he'd done his utmost in making his new menantu feel welcomed and a significant part of the big abdul rahman (my father in law) clan.

i was put in charge of the bunga telor and i've been seeing so much of it i swear if i got me another boiled egg i'd pulverize it to bits (and make yummy sandwich out of it la of course lol). weh, didnt think it could be so tiring making sure every guest got their bunga telor. i was the 'mandor' and had 6 'daro' at my disposal (quite a substantial number of assistants one might say) and during our last 'drill' i made sure they understood that the good name of their uncle depended on them - nobody was to go home without a bunga telor. heheh, by noon most of them were ready to give up specially during the lunch hour peak. groaning, moaning, sweating... maklum la anak2 manja semuanya, my daughter included lol. akhirnya mak daro ni la yang ended up doing the rounds hik hik. tu yang sampai ambik cuti cemas hari ni :)

the highlight of my day was meeting up with an old friend. F & B came with 5 of their 8 children and of course whenever i get the opportunity to meet up with the semsas gang, the years just seem to slip away and i'm that rowdy teen again (embarassing kan tapi nak buat camane?!). at least i had a most welcomed break from 'mandoring' lol

chewy had a real bad catfight the other day and try as we might we couldnt seem to locate any cuts or wounds (his long fur keeps getting in the way). but he was acting rather strangely right after that - snoozing all the time, refusing to eat and finally walking with a slight limp. we thought he must've terkehel his hindleg or something and it reached a point when i had to resort to force feeding the poor kitty. now that the bersanding's over and i wasnt working, i took him to the vet and what do you know..... he did have a small puncture, albeit deep, at his hindleg and it was developing pus. rupanya according to the vet if the wound is small it doesnt bleed but the spot will swell (thats when we thought it was bengkak disebabkan terkehel) and the pus will dribble out when its good and ready (eww).

so si mamat tu kena antibiotics shot and antiswelling shot on each side of his hindlegs. and we went home armed with iodine, creams, multivits, b complex and antibiotics. whoosh... rasa macam beranak kecik lak hehe.

then, it was AH's turn. ummm ha ah..... mak dia terlampau sibuk dan ralit sampai tak sempat nak beli buku sekolah anak daro dia *turning sebam red.... sebab makciks dont blush but turn sebam instead lol* it was close to 2.30 when we set out for her school bookstore and memang langkah kanan bcoz they were on the verge of closing. bought whatever textbook was available there (the exercise books with the school logo was the 'must have' item) and obtained the rest at tanjong bookstore down the road. again we were lucky because we managed to get everything. didnt they say something in the papers about some textbooks being sold out?! apapun, syukur dah selesai bab tu.

now i can just concentrate on getting together the stuff that Abe wants to bring over to turkmenistan.

Old friends

i'm actually still in shock.

i just had a call from the past. a friend from way back in primary school had suddenly turned up out of the blue. who would have thought that an opportunity to meet up with primary school friends would present itself now that i'm well in my 40's?!! i'm still in close contact with my semsas (secondary school) gang and we meet quite often but primary school!!!!! wow.

a group of them are trying to get the people together for a reunion and i salute their effort. it would be fun catching up on the latest and checking out what each of us have evolved into lol our last memories of one another would be so far back it would be almost impossible to figure out what we'd become.... for sure ada yang kembang, yang kecut, yang tinggi, yang pandak hehehe.

i went ransacking for old pics right after the call and the kids and i went into fits going through my black & white photos of yesteryears. i was tomboyish, flatchested and had a tummy heheh there were also a substantial number of pics showing me active in sports and school shows. hmm i'd forgotten about that part of my life. my friend even reminded me about the tarians we had put up for the school and the shows that we were invited to perform. wow... and to think i had forgotten all about it.

yup its true. old friendships dont die... they just shrivel up like trees in winter just waiting for spring to arrive.

Busy bzz bzz

Its a madhouse at the office with contractors all in a frenzy trying to make payment happen and its rather unfortunate that the red tape gets in the way of that. but the big players... they're not the least bit worried coz they're hardly affected. if you pull hard enough, the puppets will even do a jiggly for ya. i'll not elaborate but suffice to say i sometimes wonder who the big bosses actually work for.

i worked my butt off so that i could take off for a couple of days. the kids were getting a little restless but the main reason for abe being home is because of his seminars & forums. so, that took care of any long holiday plans. i didnt really much care coz it still meant having him home. but 2 nites ago i took leave from work because the kids wanted to spend time lazing about the hotel where he was having one of his forums. heh, it was kinda funny bcoz we were right slap bang in the middle of KL, not PD or Genting or anywere out of town but Le Meredien, KL Sentral lol. and if you were passing thru kl sentral anytime tuesday or wednesday you might have caught me bumming with the kids w/out a care in the world watching the trains/LRT's /monorails or what have u's passing by... macam takde kerja lain heheh.

The pool on the 8th floor was heavenly but AH was too lazy to try it out and i had no reason to be there on my own. the view of the lake garden from across the room was pretty enticing but i myself was too lazy to try it out. in the end, we found ourselves either bumming at the sentral/klcc or just pigging out in the room lol. i've definitely put on 1 solid kg from all this inactivity. and i even had the ultimate wet dream last nite, my body's reminder of what i was missing.... there i was running along the beach (my dreams are mostly of endlessly falling which i hate, or of endlessly running which i love lol) when suddenly i had this sudden energetic rush and was almost flying into the wind!!!!! whoa... best giler... to be that strong!!!!

The last time i went running was on sat & sun. oh and i did incorporate an hour of dancing with paula on sunday nite. and i was pretty surprised to wake up to aching muscles the next morning!! i honestly thought that all that running had made me rather flexible but seems that i've not been using the other muscles that i also had... heheh, uncomfortable laa jugak moving about. well, we learn new things about ourselves everyday dont we!

I'm back at work today just to finish up on some paperwork which i had promised the boss but i'm on leave again tomorrow. AF's going back to college on saturday and probably have tons of last minute things for me to settle so i might as well make myself accessible. theres also the nephew's reception on monday and that would make the weekend a busy one. then theres Abe's stuff to see to since he'll be leaving new year's eve and of course i'll be trying my darnedest best to be spending each precious moment with him.

Hmmmmm looks like i'll be spending more time dreaming about running then running itself lol

Have a good year's end people :)

FINALLY

Thank you good people of MBSA !!!!!

I didnt run yesterday and had the best surprise waiting for me when i went out this morning.

There i was pounding away (a little half hearted somehow... my running depends a lot on my moods) eyes downcast not particularly keen on making any eye contact, when i spied rather 'alien' (as in not being there before) markings on the pavement of the jogging track. it was a 4 digit number in dark blue ink/paint and already my heart started to berbunga sakan. could it be? did they finally decide to mark the distance covered by the track? was i finally going to have my wish granted this fine morning?

In a short while i spotted another number on the pavement.... 1850. YES!!! surely this was no coincidence. the number was definitely connected to the previous one but decreasing in denomination. heh, no problem... i reasoned i was just running in the opposite direction.

As i passed the restoran terapong, the laman budaya, pkns complex and wet world, the numbers i spied kept me in high spirits and i rushed merrily along wondering at the whereabouts of the starting point. then the horror set in. after i left the playground behind me i couldnt seem to locate anymore numbers. oh nooo.... dont tell me they only did it halfway!! worse, what if it was just useless numbers.. the crazy work of people who had nothing better to do? i didnt stop of course bcoz i needed to keep running if i wanted to be in time for work but i started to lose some 'steam'. before long my legs started to feel a little leaden (thats what happens laaa when the hati dah walang) but i quickly put a stop to all that negative thinking. I was sure the markings were there for one reason and one reason only..... to mark the distance for the joggers.

Where else can serious joggers be running in shah alam? the people in power had already taken the shah alam recreational park (that area beside the federal highway that used to house a football field, an awesome jogging track, tennis courts, squash courts, basketball courts, sepaktakraw courts; courts galore) and turned it into the worldwide business centre (oh what a huge loss that was *SIGH*). just like they've turned the old bt3 racing track into a housing area. wouldnt it help lessen the lumba haram tendencies if the mat rempits had a place to let loose? bagi sewa murah2 of course tapi think kebajikan juga laaaa sometimes and not just profits because city folks need places to let their hair down laaa.... kalu jadi sewel, mengamuk sana mengamuk sini, semua jadi susah gak.

Anyways to cut a long story short, i did find the starting point. its just before the small bridge that connects the back of the museum (beside the big concrete chess board that is now used as a skateboard area) to a corner of the state mosque. Ah the blessed numbers.... 3800/0.

Teka teki ku selama ini terjawab kini.

1 lap (or big loop) of the tasik shah alam= 3.8km.

Heh, no more "about 4 km" for me... its officially 3.8 km now and its marked every 50m in most areas. i can work up whatever distance i want from there, yay!!

A happier jogger you wont be meeting today *doing the jiggly* doesnt take much to make me happy eh lol!!

** Running Log **

1 lap= 3.8 km= 25 mins. (baru laaa exact & professional sounding skit heheh)

A slip of the mind

Talk about false alarms!!!!!!! the hubby had himself quite a scare today lol.

We had a late breakfast, more of a brunch. he was at the clinic earlier getting his blood sugar tested and because you needed to fast for that, by 10.30 am he was not just hungry, he was ravenous. he came zooming up to my office in no time and headed straight for his fav restaurant in TTDI Jaya (where else?). again, another full-blown kelantanese breakfast of nasi dage, ike, daging bakar, sambal sotong etc for him (which ended up into quite a heapful believe me.. macam nak gi bendang hehehe). me, i wasnt really into the nasi kelate thing so i had fried mee hoon (but with lots of 'accompaniments' lol).

Realising that i was down to my last twenty (the boyz were planning on a trip downtown so would definitely be 'pau'ing mom), we stopped at the bumi-comm ATM near makro. it was upon my return to the car that he was having this very very serious sounding conversation on the h/phone. i gathered from snatches of the conversation (one sided of course), that it was a call from the bank and that somebody had made him a guarantor for a car loan.

- name of owner didnt ring any bells, the address was unfamiliar whereas all the particulars about the hubby was correct, including copies of his mykad.

- the loan was for a kelisa and according to the bank officer, several payment was due.

problem was ... the hubby's absolutely clueless about all of it.

problem was ... he's probably been 'scammed' if theres such a word.

After a rather intense discussion, the hubby was advised to lodge a police report and armed with whatever info passed on to him, we went about it right away. all along the way to the police station, we both wrecked our brains over the owner's name. wasnt anyone from his side of the family, wasnt anyone from my side either. neither was it any of his friends but a naughty thought occured to me just then.

"Abe, i shouldnt be going with you you know," i said.

Surprised, he retorted, "why ever not?" (of course laa, should stand behind ur man in times of need, that sorta thing).

"For all u know kan, the police might be thinking ur just pretending laa. doing a report in front of the wife, probably ur mistress or something. u know laa those people at the balai see all kinds of funny stuff every day", said i hiding a smile (i love to tease the poor bugger hehe... tapi could be true pun for all i know). "Better i dont go laa, baru 100% authentic".

"Eh, mana pulak, pegi jer" but i could see he was starting to look rather thoughtful heh.

So we went through the whole reporting thing without a hitch and the police was very friendly and helpful. they even provided us with a printout of the latest info on the said owner. that was when the 'trouble' started lol.

"Oh, ada no IC baru kat sini", said the observant hubby. the one given by the bank was of the old 7 digit format.

"Ada alamat terbaru sekali................ EH!!!"

I was seating nearby on one of the distinctively uncomfortable chairs usually provided at these public places, thinking about the work i should be settling at the office. But that "Eh" got through to me... that particular tone could only mean one thing... something was not quite right.

I got up to peek at the printout.

"Alamat dia kat seksyen 19 laa sekarang," and there was this little furrow on his forehead. closer to home, and that somehow meant the odds that we knew the lady was increasing somewhat.

Still, no bells were ringing for either of us and after agreeing on the contents of the report, he paid up the RM 2.00 (cheap huh!!). i had a call by that time and was already out of the balai by the time he made his way to me.

And this rather embarrassed grin was starting to break up on his face !!!!

"Huh, i think i've finally figured out who's the owner", said the hubby as we got into the car.

"Laaa bang sape pulak? Kan dah report bagai?", i was quite surprised. didnt we deliberate long and hard enough?

As we pulled out of the station, the hubby was already calling someone and over the laughter and apologies, i finally gathered that it was 'L' , his officemate. seems that back in 2003 he had agreed to become the guarantor to L's wife and by the time we reached my office, he was already agreeing to scrape off the report.

"Haa... confirm laa my earlier observation abe weh," i said as i got off the car, smirking.

"Sah laa polis tu kata abang ada agenda. beria2 depan bini jer, pas tu bini takde gi cancel plak," tergelak tenguk his reaction... berkerut2 muka cek abe tu. serba salah pun ada, indignant pun ada.

"Eh, kalau camtu you ikut sekali laa," the poor guy was starting to look a little green around the edges (tu probably just my imagination laa lol).

"Alaa... abang kan macho man, peduli apa laaa diorang kata kan. lagipun pah dah lama laa takde kat ofis tu" i was hiding a snicker. the thought probably never even crossed the policemen's mind tadi tapi seronok gak mengenakan mr cool ni sekali sekala hehe.

"Hah, ok laa... i pegi dulu lah," wah, after the turn of a second, dapat semangat baru lak hang tuah nih lol.

With that we parted ways dan berakhirlah sudah "episod mengarut" pagi rabu. its good that we had the whole sorry mess sorted out in the end. and at least now i know for sure, i'm not the only one struggling with the 'memory senja' syndrome heheh.

Visiting ruskies

Abe got word that he was to meet up with the russian delegation and left home a little flustered this morning. still, flustered or not theres something about a man in a 3 piece that just gets to me (oh and tight jeans too for that matter) heheh.

Ur da man abe, go kick 'em butts !!!

Today i'm finally feeling back in the groove again.... fitness wise that is. since ramadhan, my workouts have been extremely sporadic and very unsatisfying. i was never one to lose any weight during the fasting month. late nite eating wrecks havoc with my metabolism and given my lusty appetite (everythings yummy yummy), the inconsistent exercising meant only one thing.... input greater than output. and we all know what that means (not to mention the lethargy) !!!

A lot of changes was also happening in my life all all along ramadhan and syawal, topmost on the list being Abe's move to turkmenistan. but i've gradually gotten back my equilibrium and its good to be feeling on top of things again. ermm, and lets just forget about the young russian assistant for now shall we?!!

Deep breaths now woman ;)

** Running Log **

gawd, i had me the best run in months this morning. i stuck to the new stride (though i had to push myself quite a bit) and managed to shear a couple of minutes off my usual 30 - 25 mins per lap.. yay!!! feeling strong though its probably just an illusion heheh neeways, i think the treadmill session helped.

1 lap= about 4 km= 20 mins + (was wearing a dress watch... no minute markings to be sure)

The usual

Its a public holiday in selangor and according to Abe its also a public hol in turkmenistan.

Another boring day in suburbia.

It feels like i've gone thru a lifetime of escalating prices.

Back in my hazy (as in dont quite remember) & lazy (was just a kid at kindy going age) days in si rusa army camp, PD, a drumstick ice cream cone used to cost just 50 cents. it was a luxury back then and i used to gobble lots of those as we strolled the beaches, me and my granny, beach bums that we were. the army quarters that we lived in was within walking distance of the beach and she loved fishing by the rocks.... all we had to do was cross the coastal road, which was nowhere as busy or dangerous as it is now.

Now lets fast forward to a nearer time zone. a couple of years back, a cart load of grocery (of basic household needs) at tops or giant used to be around RM 200 max, add on a couple of years and the same stuff cost about RM 300, and before you know it, its now double the original. The hubs and i do our monthly grocery at Giant Besar as we call it, the outlet at seksyen 13 (or is it 12) shah alam. we shop not just for our household but for my MIL as well so its quite normal for us to be pushing a cart each. its only been a couple of months back that we were coughing up around RM 700 (plus minus the odd buck or two) for the whole lot. today, we paid up RM 850 for the usual basic things. isnt it incredible that theres an increase already? and it hasnt even been a year!! i cant imagine what its going to be like for the kiddos.

Abe left for golf after lunch and since the weather looked like it was going to turn wicked by late afternoon, i decided to have a earlier than usual workout. its been awhile since i pounded the treadmill and it would help a lot in making sure i kept my strides consistent. i'm not too keen about the gym at KSAS because theres only 1 functioning treadmill there (and its usually occupied) and its a bloody waste of time to wait for my turn. lucky for me there wasnt anyone using it when i got there and i got to hog it for 40 mins muahahahaha !!! Feeling good :)

It agrieves me that none of the kiddoes show any interest in keeping fit beyond the frenetic use of their fingers. sigh, AF's heart would surely appreciate the loss of some kilos and AI's muscles would look pretty good all toned up. tapi mana boleh paksa2 !!! *double sigh*

** Running Log **

Time: 40 mins
Distance: 4.7 km
Speed: 7 - 8 km/hr
Incline: mostly 1
Cal burned: 340 kj

Lupa oh lupa

I think i'll be needing that reading glasses soon.

Worse case is when i'm at the clinic and i have to fill in my ING particulars on the forms. then its reading the labels at the pharmacies & supermarts. squinting doesnt help anymore lol. wouldnt mind those funky looking plastic frames though.

Another sign of age is losing the confidence of being sure about anything. many a time i've found myself caught in a situation totally different from what i had first envision. e.g. very sure of myself i'd abdamently be saying "ish i dah kunci laa kereta tu" and later finding out i hadnt. i did lock the car up for the nite but that was the nite before. repetitive things become a blur and superimposed onto each other. problem is, it feels so right when its all so wrong lol langsung tak bole percaye !!!

So, i just have to be more careful.

Like this morning, i had to cut my run short because i suddenly wasnt sure whether i had wound up the front windows or not. i told myself i did because it would be the automatic thing i'd do but the uncertainty kept nagging at me and i couldnt go on. *sigh* sure enough the windows were all up and the car nicely locked. but then i'm always plagued with the 'what ifs' now. but what to do... comes with the territory i guess.

** Running Log **

1 lap plus= about 6 km= 40 mins (kept to the new stride & pace during the 1st 4 km)

Narnia

Last nite the kiddos somehow managed to uproot their daddy from his fav spot in front of the telly and we all went trooping to Bukit Raja's TGV for the midnite show. the movie - The chronicles of Narnia of course. the man must have been either in a good mood or feeling guilty over something bcoz not only did he agree to the plan but also consented to sitting at the 3rd row from the front!!!!! he who would only watch movies at a comfortable position way back at the end of the theatre and right in the middle no less. hmmmmm.

The movie was ok i guess but typical disney.... and rather fairy tale'ish. nothing at all like LOTR or any of the hobbit tales. probably very unfair of me to expect otherwise but i did think there would be some similarities. instead i'm strongly reminded of the snow queen. ah well, at least AH enjoyed it (but she confessed it was largely because of edmund's bad boy persona).

Decided to forgo my run and slept in instead. after all Abe didnt have any game lined up and it was one of those rare mornings i get to enjoy a good snuggle. must remind myself to start on some strength training.... simple light weights to tone up ye olde muscles a bit. i need toning.

Attended a wedding reception at a neighbour's and was supposed to attend a doa selamat right after. one of Abe's friends was leaving for haj with his wife and it would have been your regular run of the mill kenduri..... except that the guy had earlier lied to his wife and all the golf cronies were supposed to be keeping mum about it. sheesh. seems that he was supposed to be playing golf the whole morning when in actual fact he was spending time with his 2nd wife (something the 1st one knew nothing about apparently). and because Abe didnt want me yakking my mouth off with the other wives and prolly let slip something (huh as if i would), he went alone.

I want my hubby to keep sharing with me these little secrets. that is the main reason why i dont meddle and poke my nose where i'm not supposed to. after all they are his friends and i dare not upset that guy-pact thing. i just hope Abe would be jantan enough to let me know when he suddenly decides one is not enough (pls god never i hope). i think for most women however painful the truth may be, its preferable to the lying. now that is the absolute in betrayal.

While i was waiting for him to return, Abe's younger bro called and wanted to know if we were up to a karaoke session after dinner. Of course we were game and the KSAS karaoke lounge was suitable for families... as long as the members were over 12. but the kiddos hate karaoke preferring to play their own music (yup i tend to agree that singing to live music is much more satisfying) so they ended up playing pool (or was it snooker) instead. hehe, the crowd in shah alam were mostly jam packed around the stadium for tv3's sureheboh carnival and there we were in our very own sureheboh lol.

it was fun letting our hair down like that. me, it didnt really matter, i just wanted to be with Abe.

Experiment

I love drizzly mornings. Not the type thats gloomy & squelchy but the ones where the rain is so fine that you dont really get wet from it. instead, you get that cool spring effect thats so invigorating especially when you're out running. Made this morning's run pretty enjoyable for me.

I'm always experimenting with my strides, pacing and breathing because running alone can get to be a little boring. i've been meaning to get myself an mp3 of sorts but until now i'm still just doing the zikir while i run lol (too many options and bcoz i dont wanna make the wrong choice, i delay making decisions). so, while i was trying out stuff i think i've discovered another pace thats comfortable for me.

My usual run consist mainly of a consistent short stride at an easy pace, one thats easy on my breathing - a very economical movement that allows me to get going for long periods of time. i usually slot in bursts of long strides at a quicker pace just to jolt the old ticker a little bit. i cant sustain the pace for long but i love the feeling of my legs strectching out to take in the longer stride.

I found out this morning that if i swung my arms out just so, and i stretched my legs out that much further, and took in a deeper breath, the movement automatically synchronized itself into a better, harder stride and pace. i tried my best to hold on to the movement, afraid that i might lose it before my body could adjust to the rhythm. and sure enough, before long i'd changed over to the new pace and it felt really goooooood.

Next couple of weeks will probably see me trying to incorporate more of that pace into my run. penat tapi i'm optimistic its feasible. my weakness is in my breathing.... any signs of semput will make me slow down automatically so i have to push myself sloooooowly. but i like the feeling that longer stride is giving me. its almost pleasurable to feel the muscles stretch.

Abe's seminar at PERMATA seem to be heating up alright lol. came back rather late last nite due to tasks and assignments. the man's been eating a lot since he came back.... missing home cooked fare no doubt since turkmen food sucks according to him (and he aint that good a cook either). i'm sure he's looking forward to the weekend ... probably already have golf marathons lined up.... another thing that he misses when hes stuck in ashgabat. but the kids have also made their own plans for him lol. we'll see what happens.


** Running Log **

1 lap= about 4 km= about 30 mins.

minimal warm up & cool down because work awaits ;)

A serious matter

The institution of marriage carries with it enormous responsibilities. one of it is to safeguard the secrets of all that goes on behind closed doors. one only confides when absolutely necessary. i guess that was what happened to my manja anak sedara when he decided to confide in me, rendering me quite speechless for a second at his daring (waa, feeling a little like barbara streisand in meet the parents 2 plak). one week into marriage and problems already maa?!!

*sigh* young men have got to realize how lucky they actually are in getting naive & innocent wives at this time and age. its like getting a clean slate and you colour it any which way you choose... custom made gitu. now, wanting them to be 'pros' in bed could actually backfire... after a while, you might start to wonder if all that know hoo is actually just from reading (you know how the imagination can run wild sometimes, sangka yg buruk2, tu tak kena ni tak kena). and of course this would bring a fresh set of worries pulak.

So, go slow and be patient laa. this is the time for exploration & discovery. tu laa aunty cakap jgn tenguk banyak sangat porn, kan expectation dah jadi giler2. sheeesh.

Ok, back on the home front things are pretty much laid back. the 3 kiddos have been holing in the boyz room for quite some time now - curtains drawn 24/7, aircon full blast, all focussed on something electronic or other. its games, anime, movie galore... time makan baru nampak batang hidung. AF's fast becoming a guni beras, AI's pale as a vampire and AH's all selekeh like. hish, bergaduh sakan baru nak mandi!!!! such is the state of affairs during the long december break.

I'm noticing a new trend. AF and AI has become really tight budddies.... alhamdulillah. used to be AF would be bullying his younger bro and would never take him seriously, not even for a minute. but now both the guyz are ganging up on AH and rough horsing her quite a bit, especially AF. after a one to one, the guyz confessed that their sis has grown up too fast and they find the fact that she's now girlfriend material to their friends quite disturbing!! lmao.... my poor boyz. they cant accept the fact that she's wearing make-up (actually just kohl around the eyes but what do brothers know anyway lol), that she's grown boobs and can look quite sexy, and that she talks & acts all feminine in front of other guyz. hey, thats what happens when adik turns dara la dudes lol.

AH in her defense says.... she always checks with ma about her dressing so they shouldnt be complaining (yup she does and its cool) and there are 2 choices when it comes to her behaviour with guyz - either she turns all feminine or she gets all gediq. of course the bros almost fainted at the mention of 'gediq'. seems that gediq gals are an absolute 'no' in their book.

lol budak2 nih macam2.


** Running Log **

Squeezed in a short run before work: 1 lap= about 4 km= 28 mins.

Return to the roost

HE'S Back !!!!!!!!

...... safe and sound and most importantly, all parts seem to be intact & functioning normally heheh.


* HUGE GRIN *

He's off golfing and would probly be away the whole day - payback for all the lost time in turkmenistan. the moment he touched down at KLIA his golf cronies were already waiting to pounce on his more then willing back. today its 36 holes, 2 games back to back. hmmph, tenguk laa balik nanti mesti sakit pinggang... kat green hero habis lol.

i celebrated the return of the rooster by rewarding myself with a 2 lap tasik run this morning.... heheh 8 km..... penat giler siot !!!!!!! but ever soooo satisfying and empowering :)


** Running Log **

2 laps= about 8 km= 55 mins

3 Day project

Weh... lelah. projek segera tak macam mee segera rupanya. So i did complete it in time for the hubs return (skit2 loose end here and there tak kira laa).

It all started with the lavender bedsheets so, my initial colour board looked like this:


Went curtain hunting and ended up with this:
Never realised purple was a hard colour to come by when its for curtains. I was hoping for ready made curtains initially but no way. even suitable curtain material was hard to come by and i only found what i was looking for after 4 stops. tu pun accidentally.... at one secluded corner of nagoya textiles. and surprisingly after all that searching, lucky me got the shade i wanted at bargain prices hehehe. but *sigh* sewing was not my forte and because mak's sewing machine was out of commission and the one i borrowed from a friend meragam, i ended up jahit tangan !!!!!!! the things one end up doing in moments of desperation... berpinar mata2.

And the result of my 3 day quickie makeover....

heh bolsters are banned from our bedroom (i want the hubby to peluk me not the bolster lol) so i always cut up the bolster cases and turn them into cushion covers instead.

accessories..
existing flowers... out with the blue roses and in with the purple.

the lovely lace outlet at SACC just happened to have lots of purple stuff on sale. ngeh.