13 going on to 20

Yesterday my girlie girl turned 13 !! how the years have flown by !! it feels like only yesterday that she was wriggling away in that old cot, sucking madly at her thumb (ehem... she still does but shush now).

I remember the horrible horrible dilemma we found ourselves in when she was about 10 months. she was having fever, cranky, with a swollen ubun2 and the docs suspected meningitis. we had to make yet another big decision for yet another one of our babies (i'll not go into that now but my 'babies' were all special cases)... to let them proceed with the lumbar puncture or not to?!! it was wrought with uncertainties & risks and you know how that one particular procedure seem to strike terror in the hearts of most people. i remember cringing when relatives and friends kept asking the dreaded question 'nak ambik air tulang belakang?' their horror barely masked. a part of me died everytime they did that.

We did get through it with flying colours but such things leave you with a very different perspective towards life. for one, its that much harder to take things for granted.

Went and got her the contact lens she's been hankering for tapi had to be toric ones bcoz of her astigmatism so have to wait till week's end for it. she believes she'll look better w/out her specs. well, maybe... she does have beautiful lashes and its wasting away behind those specs. also got her a multi heart-shaped bracelet from first silver. funky enough to suit her taste and sweet enough to suit mine... after all i'm paying for it lol.

She's also deliriously happy... seems like 'SS' is back in her circle of friends but this time she has decided not to expect too much from the guy. good for you girl!! always had a rather matured outlook on life. neeways, putting someone on a pedestal like that isnt too healthy; shes bound to get disappointed. after all he's a growing teen himself and tgh belajar nak rapat ngan girls. hope i can selit in some sense here & there w/out bursting her bubble though. its so easy to slip into fantasy mode at that age.

Ahh... my baby's all grown up !!

Golfman's spending the next few days in bangkok. Dropped by putrajaya on the way back from klia, just to check out the marathon route but forgot to bring the map i printed off the website. couldnt really figure out which bridge was the putrajaya bridge ?!! hampeh... silly me.... nak check sangat tapi tak ingat... my son just laughed, the brat !! AI.. takpe gelak kat mama.. you have spm coming real soon you !!! muahahahaha *konon2 je evil*

Finally got some time to really surf today.... besh !!!! and mak datok my mail habih lintang pukang. must learn to manage my time better tapi what to do, got no maid at home and takkan nak harap je kat me mom. dia tengok2 kan the kids pun dah nak mujur. and sometimes i need to be selfish. cant let myself be spread out too thin. my 'me' time is what keeps me together, namely....

- my reading
- my running
- my singing/croaking lol
- my 'lepaking' with the kiddos minus the mummy mode.

So, if a few days passes by and the floors dont get mopped.... or the furniture gets a tad dusty, so be it !! i'm done fretting that i cannot be super duper whatever. i dont hafta and i actually dont wanna be one.

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** Burn Baby Burn - Treadmill **

Time: 37 mins
Incline: 1
Speed: 7.5 - 8
Distance: 4.1 km
Calories burned: 300

Grumpy mumpy

Golfman's been grumpy for weeks now and isnt showing any signs of letting up :(

Lately the juicy gossip sessions we normally share are almost non-existent. he's been retreating into his 'cave' more often but i know enough to leave things well alone for the time being. he doesnt need to keep rehashing nasty stuff when his trying his darnedest to forget about it. like any regular caveman, he sits on his rock (favourite recliner), gazes into the heavens (the idiot box) and is lulled into some semblance of peace by the repeatedly twinkling stars (AF concert repeats).

Hmmmmm.....

Its partly his diabetes. the body's still adjusting to the meds i think hence the restlessness. probably wondering why he's suddenly feeling so uncomfortable under his own skin. but i suspect it also has something to do with that problem at the office. by piecing together fragmented snippets, i gather its the incompetence of a certain, ummm, dept that he's finding so intolerable. and all this waiting for a definite result is slowly draining the life blood outta him thats fer sure. poor baby, must be damn frustrating being in limbo like that. ooh, and poor us too actually, its the family that has to live with mr grumpy till all is settled.

It doesnt help that i cant even tempt him with any of his favourite desserts (he has a sweet tooth with a capital S) like lompat tike, butir nangko, akok *sigh* it'll help boost his spirits somewhat but they're all so damn sweet and the man is diabetic !!! looks like i'll just have to resort to that skimpy thingy yet again lol

Abe, my prayers are always with you. must be tough reigning over a kingdom however small..... but be assured my grumpy king, we your loyal subjects pledge our love & loyalty for all eternity.

Respecting the kids

I pulled over for pisang & cempedak goreng on my way back to work (yup, it was only around 2 pm but they were already selling minum ptg stuff.. tak kira masa much like the 24/7 nasi lemak). a couple of kids were already there, probably on their way to mengaji classes judging from the songkoks perched on their heads. so there we were, waiting for that 1st batch to come out of the kuali and the boys were by now tertunduk malu coz i, the makcik stranger, had grinned at them (probably hoping against hope i wasnt a crazy old coot out to get them lol).

The moment the pisang goreng hit the receiving basket, we all stood to attention.. maklumlah dah tak sabar menunggu (actually i'm fasting so i was buying the stuff for my officemates). surprise, surprise... the seller terus turned to me and asked, "kak nak brape?" !!!!!!!! and i just stared at her coz the kids were very obviously there first (there was only 4 of us so takkan laa confuse kot). what else could i do except gently reprimand her but she just smilingly replied, "bukan apa kak, kak sibuk nak keje".

I guess i cant totally fault her reasoning... mungkin ada customer yg pernah mintak nak cepat using that excuse, mungkin she'd been taught to always put the elders first... dunno. but i strongly believe in the '1st come 1st serve' basis, regardless of age, race or gender. lainlah klu ada yg budiman enough to let you go first tapi kenalah stick to the basic principles. and in this case kesian bebudak tu.... i'm a kid therefore i am seen but not heard ?!! alaa, tu kan dah tak boleh pakai lagi daah.

In fact this isnt the first time. try getting your kids to buy something for you while you wait in the car... chances are they'll take a longer time than you ever would. if its not the seller yg buat hal its another customer bulldozing their way thru. and of course its always much easier to bulldoze children !!

The kids deserve to be treated better... after all they are paying customers too. tu bukan duit mainan yg mereka unjuk.

Ok then, time i hit the gym. lambat2 kang kot tak dapat plak naik treadmill :)

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** Activity Log - Treadmill **
Time: 40 mins
Incline: 1
Speed: average of 7.5
Distance: 4.5 km
Calories burned: 280

Muh girlie girl

AH - facing the teenage turbulence head on but with a lil help from ...


bro no. 1 (tempat mengadu)


bro no. 2 (tempat bergurau)


.... and her cutie pies (where she gets total acceptance).

Lady bosses

Nah, this isnt about that new malay movie (one of these days nak gak check it out coz i like saiful apek) its just about lady bosses in general. one thing's fer sure, you need to be on your toes around them !! i'm not bias or anything, just talking thru observation & experience. women tend to notice the 'little' things (yea yea me included) and its good so long as we dont allow ourselves to get all worked up over it and eventually lose sight of the bigger picture !!

Kena berpada-pada. a lot has to do with establishing the requirements in view of the available resources.... and prioritizing. everything must be taken into consideration. they say staying with the bigger picture is a man's forte. now does that mean the smaller stuff escapes them ?! lol ;)

Aah well, bosses come and go so we make do :)

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AH's been prattling non stop about her 'hateful' (for now) friends....... they're 'matchmaking' her with another geek. she hates it that they're always trying to 'couple' (their choice of words not mine) her with someone or other. she says shes not a desperate teenager thank you very much.... kenapa, tak 'couple' tak boleh ke???!!! lol.... thing is she'd probably be singing an entirely different tune if they did pair her off with 'SS' , this guy shes been carrying the torch for since she was 10. even if i still dont quite see what's there to go all ga-ga over (but what do i know, i'm ancient) its the cinta monyet thing i guess.

Kesian sebenarnya bebudak perempuan sekarang. not only are they expected to do well in school, they're also under pressure to be accepted by the mainstream groups and to prove that they're 'desirable' as well. it was probably the same back then but i dont remember it being quite as 'intense'... sometimes tu takde kesian punya specially if you're different (translated as 'that weirdo') and/or you're not considered one of the 'beautiful people' (translated as 'that poor ugly thang').

Of course we moms try to counter the effect with reassurances and support but peer expectation can be quite a heavy burden to bear. even if they are basically a well rounded little person to begin with, sikit sebanyak ada gak kesan pada their self-esteem. i hope it gets better when shes in form 2. hopefully this is just a transition period, that of adjusting from primary school mentality to secondary. and actually AH untung sebab she does have 2 bros (however obnoxious they might sometime seem to her lol) so when it comes to dealing with males, shes not all that clueless. which still leaves her the catty girls though. she'll have to maneuver her way around them i suppose. and of course she can always count on me to be her pendengar setia, if its any help.

Its tough being a teenager..... more so in this new millenium !!!!!

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Ok, i just checked out a new route for my jog/run. according to that 'whatever' meter in the car (yg kira distance tu laa), 1 lap around my entire office complex (the one encircling all 3 gates) is about 3.5 km. which means 2 laps would make it 7 km.... just nice for me to train in and a change from the usual tasik route :) about another month to go before the putrajaya half mara (still tak register sebab still tak sure). tinggal nak buat tak nak buat jer heh.

Mana urat berani awak cek pah !!!!!

Transcending disabilities

When you're faced with proof that courage & tenacity can transcend any obstacle, you cant help but be awed & breathless !! i switched over to the 2005 ESPY awards ceremony just as the winners of the Aurthur Ashe courage award was announced and i sat there transfixed as they rolled the short documentary on both Jim MacLaren & Emmanuel Ofosu Yeboah. God, those 2 guys are running & cycling despite severe disabilities (and as in jim's case having to rise from tragedy 2x.. however does he do it ?!). doesnt leave us able bodied people much room for excuse now does it ?!

Anyhoo, watching those two makes me feel that i too can move mountains if i wanted it badly enough !! they're completely awesome... makes me ever so glad i pushed myself outta bed and onto the jogging track this morning, even though it was wet & drizzly.

1st lap= about 4 km= 25 minutes
2nd lap= about 8 km= 30 minutes
total time = 55 minutes (still under 1 hr .. yay!)

Even if its nowhere close to what those marvelously courageous guys are doing (macam langit dgn bumi obviously), i'd like to think it aint too shabby for a 40 something non-athletic makcik ;) haaa, perasan jgn tak perasan pah oooi lol !!!

Hmmmm. wonder if theres still any spaghetti left over from dinner (the kiddos usually packs 'em in like theres no tomorrow lol) ingat nak buat 'sahur'....

Jom puasa jom :)

Manual vs auto

*groan* why did i agree to an auto car again?

• logical choice for city traffic
• easier... tekan jer
• kinder to aging knees
• kiddos with new license prefer auto

Dayyum !! wish i never allowed myself to be persuaded by golfman & da kid !!!!!! hampeh betul laa, langsung takde 'feel'. instead of us being in control, we're the one left to the mercy of the car. liat semacam... ikut suka dia jer nak respon !! its almost a year now but i still cant get use to it. i miss listening to what the car is telling me... i miss the synergistic flow of power... i miss feeling one with the car. gimme a manual anytime !!! except of course if its a car with a steptronic transmission. aha... now thats what i call an acceptable option. but then golfman kedekut kereta dia plak.

Its another friday already and suria klcc draws that much nearer. *sigh* i am not looking forward to tomorrow !!

Me tercekik

I love rain. be it a drizzle or a full blown storm. theres something about it that is cleansing to the soul.

Lately its a madhouse here at work. tak menang tangan... and to a certain extent, as quantity increases quality decreases. just cant be helped. when the luxury of deliberating over something is taken away one tends to miss out on the finer points. so we try to manage as best we can. humans are a resilient, hopeful lot after all. survivors.

Still having that sore throat. aargghh.... this phlegm never seem to want to go away. and to top it all, me, the champion in devouring terubok (that fish with bones all over the place) tercekik tulang the other nite !!!!!! me !!!!! it was pretty painful and not to mention embarassing since i pride myself at being a competent bony fish eater. golfman (who carries this phobia about tercekik tulang since childhood) has always been the voice of doom 'haa, makan lah tercekik nanti' everytime i eat fish, which is often. and there he was smirking away with that 'i told you so' look pasted on his face. hmmm, kot dah jadi doa kot bila disebut2 selalu. anyway i had no choice but to stick my little finger in there and start poking around hoping to lodge the bugger out. many gags later (almost lost my dinner at one point lol) i was finally free, though now i'm kinda wondering if it hasnt somehow speared my gut, heh ;)

Despite the gloomy weather i have been doing a little running..... 3 km on monday, 4 km on tuesday and a session with paula abdul's lets dance in the privacy of my bedroom late last nite. too busy to get out so have to make do laa :)

I have an important errand to run, the outcome of which has wide repercussions. may HIS blessings be with me ! *sigh* the things we do for the ones we love..... theres a grand lesson to be learned from this and my greatest hope is that it'll turn out ok in the end. you owe me big time AF !!!

There are days..

A dark & gloomy morning..... the exact reflection of my mood.

Its days like these that makes you dig deep for the strength to see it through at least half competent. my throat hurts, i feel seram sejuk for no reason and AF's problems are certainly not helping. i have the misfortune of having people around me who reacts to situations, mengamuk sana mengamuk sini and nobody seem to give a damn about solving problems. tackle the glitch then get angry boleh tak? whatever happened to being supportive? we're always so very critical of the ones we love. thats why in the end i keep it all bottled up and dispense info on a need to know basis only. for better for worse, its easier that way.... biar sesak otak asalkan tak bising2.... i cant stand that. i slog on but will they ever realise that i am not as strong as i look ?

You gotta make your own sunshine woman... you know that... you've always known that.

Pening

I went through another busy weekend....

On saturday, around 6.30 am we all joined the merry queue at konikuniya for the harry potter launch. sad to say we didnt make the first 300 people so no free wands (nak buat ape dgn benda tu ekk?!! lol) but we did get the early bird RM25.00 voucher though. ok laaa dapat la gak something. kid no. 2 happy giler and still reading the book, slow reader that he is... seems that dumbledor mati or something and snape is not the good guy disguised as the bad guy after all.... he's one wicked dude !!

8.00 am sunday, there was the EXSAS annual bowling championship at Sunway Pyramid's megalane. Cant bowl even if my life depended on it so pegi just to sorak2. asal the guyz tak dapat corot jadi laa lol. EXSAS had the bowling alley all to our goodselves till 11 am so riuh sakan. 'ayahanda' rahim, the 1st pengetua was there being as supportive as always. the irony of it is, the guy hasnt changed much but we all certainly have lol

Sad part about being busy is..... you have to forgo certain things coz there is that 24 hr limit in a day. jadi, dah berkurun rasanya tak lari..... waaaaahhhhhhh !!!!! also its always raining these days and its damn good weather for melingkar *sigh* feel soooo sluggish already...... bad sign.

TGIF

Oh thank you God its friday already !!!!!!

Nak sampai ke penghujung friday penat giler doh...... but its finally the weekend. yeah... yeah... (and that catchy usher song is reverberating through my brains lol).


A typical crazee friday deep in the heart of the suburbian jungle ;)

5.45 am - wakey wakey

7.15 am - drop off kid no. 2 at school on the way to work.

8.00 am - start of workday

9.00 am - site visit to polytechnic shah alam... they have an old burned down building to refurbish

10.00 am - project meeting at JKR district office

11.45 am - back at ye olde desk

12.45 pm - pick up kid no. 2 from school (in the heaviest of downpours).

1.15 pm - drop off kid no. 1, 2 and two of their friends at the state mosque for friday prayers and returning home for a quick lunch.

1.45 pm - drop off kid no. 3 to school.

2.00 pm - onwards to the mosque for pick up.

2.15 pm - upon reaching home kid no. 1 complains of slight dizziness and in view of his borderline hypertension, its off to the clinic for a quick check.

3.10 pm - everything's ok but the doc sure took his time so made sure i got meself a time slip before returning home to pick up kid no. 2 and friend.

3.15 pm - drop off kid no. 1 & friend at commuter station: destination low yat, kl (puter stuff) and drop off kid no. 2 for tuition.

3.30 pm - finally back at ye ole desk again albeit 45 minutes late ( but i did get that time slip).

5.00 pm - end of workday but when have i ever left that early ?!!

*** i'll be leaving soon but be assured the rest will be just as i wrote it since nothing has deviated all that much over the years lol ***

6.00 pm - time to abandon the fort - it'll hold till next week at least

6.15 pm - pick up kid no. 2 from said tuition and straight on to school yet again to wait out kid no. 3 whose classes ends at 6.45 pm.

7.00 pm - back home (again). 5 mins playtime with the kitties before checking up on dinner.

7.30 pm - that much needed shower & maghrib.

8.00 pm - dinner without golfman (he's gone to the sports carnival dinner).

8.30 pm - off to the mall for kid no. 3's kumon session (at least some reading time while i wait)

9.30 pm - pick up kid no. 1 & friend from commuter on the way back home from the mall.

9.45 pm - HOME SWEET HOME.... ahhh blissssssssss. finally a place to park this aching body.


Wanna switch places anyone? you'll be assured of 'NUT' status in no time hehehe.

Hmmmmm... i've reposted this just to mention about the time.... 4.21 pm ?? but i first posted it around 5.40 pm. the puter timing is probably just as whacked out as i am :(

Separate but together. Huh ?!!

Separate in our togetherness or together in our separateness ? hmmm... whatever.

I see people breaking up and one of the reason is ...... kongkongan.

I dunno but i'm thinking if we're going for the long haul in a relationship, we must have a slice of that 'togetherness' to call our very own. macamane loving, rapat n sehaluan theres always that 'thing' that marks us as an individual and if we forsake that individuality, somewhere along the line something's gonna give. we can perhaps fool ourselves part of the time but we cant do it all of the time. the soul slowly shrivels up and dies when we totally deny who and what we are.

Problem with new couples, they forego that right and embrace togetherness in total. of course we want to spend each and every minute of our time glued to our significant other; its only natural. but neglecting to appreciate each others differences and to allow some personal space early in a relationship makes it extremely difficult afterwards. klu dah asyik berkepit nanti ada yg merajuk bila tiba-tiba nak berenggang. So claim whatever time is due to you without guilt whilst at the same time allow your partner to pursue his/her interest without rancour. Lets celebrate our 'separateness' and come together recharged & all the more passionate for each other ;)


Oh, my boy is coming home from Sg Petani for the weekend and the brood is full once again. my cup runneth over !!

This & that

I'm in an unusual state of fatigue today. fasting doesnt normally do this to me so must be age catching up or something. i think today i'm just going to snuggle with the kids and watch one of their goofy animes, like school rumble or something. the japanese are a really creative lot and their animes also reflect their willingness to experiment with taboos. like falling in love with your own persocom (chobits), making out with your own teacher (onegai teacher), a guy trapped in a girl's body (the cheeky angel), and another one of a guy who wakes up to find his right hand (or was it his left) has turned into a genuine, living & breathing, girl's head lol. crazy stuff but interesting if you really think about it.

Lately people have been saying that i must be on some kinda diet. they think i'm thinner (i suppose i am a little) but isnt it funny that their first assumption has got to do with food !? with all the fad diets flooding the market, are middle aged women perceived to be a gullible lot i wonder? i admit to having a big appetite (sakit pun lalu gak makan, tak senonoh betul kan hehehe) and have been battling it like forever in my quest for the 'perfect' body (but i've long since given that up lol)

*****
Height: 155 cm
Weight: 53 kg
Sure wish i could trim it down to 5o kg but i'll probably end up looking too hagard (what to do, cheeks dah tak anjal maa and botox isnt even an option) neeways, 52 does seem like a nicer number though.
*****

But no, i havent been dieting (just sticking to simple balanced meals is all). so when i tell them its probably because i've now picked up running (and loving it) they give me this tak percaya look that speaks volumes !!!!! i'm guessing i dont even look like someone who's bothered about fitness kot lol ahh well .... all i know is i'm feeling better than i've felt for a long while and so its ok. no matter the occasional fatigue. thats just me still attempting to do too much at one time. i keep forgetting that i aint a spring chicken no more lol.

Same thing with golfman. this whole week has been torture for the guy. its not so much the tight training schedule of the sports carnival... its the realisation that hes not as young or as fit as he used to be. takes a lot of getting used to that one !! the up side of the matter is he's going to put in more effort into keeping fit and to hell with his work load (or so he says with penuh semangat one lol). we'll see how far that goes :)

*sigh* time does fly

Attack of the Gelgata

*yawn*

Ughhh.... feeling a little groggy this morning. yesterday, AH's fever subsided once she took her meds but towards maghrib she broke out in gelgata rashes (big angry looking spots which are itchy as hell). there she was scratching and scratching away throughout the nite and moi hardly slept a wink coz she was going like 'ma garu blakang ma... garu blakang ma' every 5 seconds. need to drop by the clinic for some chamomile lotion or something. dont think either of us can handle another garu filled nite (but as usual golfman slept through it all... however does he do it ?!) . if i'm not careful, i'd probably be making a mess outta my reports this morning so gotta be on my toes *yawn yawn* mmmm.... do i still have 'em *peeking downwards* ?!!! lol

Its already mid July so i'm starting my intermittent fasting for AI as a form of spiritual support in view of his SPM. since i cant do much else but prod him and pray, i'm thinking i stand a better chance of being 'heard' if i fast as well. tis said doa org berpuasa lebih makbul..... so i'm doing my part, berusaha apa yg termampu and the rest is up to him & God.

Mak, who lives with us, is pretty stressed up right now.... AF's having some trouble in college (guys will be guys i guess) and she cant help but worry herself sick !!!! when that happens she gets cranky and usually passes it on to the lot of us. nag nag nag but we're kinda used to it.... we keep reminding ourselves its because she cares. after all, young children and old folks are put onto this earth for a reason..... to elevate our level of patience and endurance :) i'm worried sick myself but apart from trying to still be supportive even if i'm mad as hell, theres not much that can be done. he has to live with the consequences of his actions. theres a lesson to be learnt here and hopefully he gets through it a better person.

Ok..... where's that pile of paperwork ? *stifling another yawn* i wonder if i'll make it to the maksak gym today ? oh and just for the record, instead of running round the tasik yesterday (it was raining quite heavily the whole afternoon) i had a late nite gym session at the club. with all these going ons, i just had to run or i would have gone cuckoo otherwise.

Threadmill (11/07/05)

Time: 42 mins
Incline: 1
Speed: warm up & cool down, pacing at 7-8 with spurts of 9.
Distance: 5 km
Calories burned: 410


NOTE: the medical term for gelgata is urti caria (courtesy of the good doctor) and its actually an allergic reaction.

Broadband-less

DRAT drat drat !!! we've been broadbandless since the weekend and the kiddos & me, we're sangap beyond words. still dunno whether its the connection, the modem or our 'ole faithful' aka long suffering puter. hate it when it comes to troubleshooting *sigh* bukannye terra mana pun nak godek2 sgt :(

Anyways.... saturday was both a pleasure & a pain (again lol). the almost 3 hr wait till suria klcc starts operating was certainly a pain (as my kembatu butt & stiff back would testify heheh) but the 1 hr plus movie at least made up for it. we went for initial d and since i'm a speed freak, it was fun ('twas mostly about this group of people's obsession with racing downhill). my daughter wasnt complaining either coz she had more than her share of eye candy lol (she was like ooohing and aahhing "ma..... cutenye ma"... "maaaaa, yg tu lagi cute ma" ... and to be honest with ya, memang the guyz were cute2 pun lol). there's 3 more saturdays to go and i'm still trying to figure out how to incorporate a morning run w/out having to worry 'bout my lil girlie. she's abdamant about not 'sweating' with me and wants to write instead (and no amount of coercing seem to work). ohh, which reminds me, next week promises to be even worse *double sigh* kena line up utk buku harry potter plak... that new one, half blood prince or something, cant remember. imagine the queue coz there must be dozens of HP fanatics out there..... and moi will be braving all that for my boy AI, the brat !!! sebenarnye tak sampai hati sbab dia beriya sgt and he does have that seminar thingy to attend. that bloody book better be worth my aches & pains !!!!!!!!!!!

So, the kiddos & me had free reign both saturday and sunday coz golfman was busy busy busy with tennis & golf practice for his petronas annual sports carnival (hmmphh, bila keluar rumah macho habis tapi bila balik je terus sakit2 sana sini.... macam2 lol). tu laa ingat nak get connected lama skit, aleh2 we couldnt access the net. heesh, geram betul. time that could have been spent surfing merrily away wasted just like that. aahh well... the good thing is i got to run early sunday morning and managed to complete 2 laps round the tasik, yay!! if its true 1 lap=4km (i still cant confirm the distance) then 2 laps=8km=55minutes. felt pretty good overall but i've been noticing, it gets a little tough going everytime i hit 3-4 km - i get this draggy feeling and my body heats up to the point that i feel like ripping off my tudung but then the funny thing is, after that it gets better. i mean, as it gradually gets cooler, i feel energy creeping back and i'm running easy again. hate that feeling when it hits though. going for another round right after work today but with the midday heat to content with..... probably'll be a slow sluggish run :(

Oohh i did manage to check out some running shoes while i was in suria klcc.... jadi lagi confuse ada laaa !!! wont be making any decisions in the near future thats for sure lol

Another thing, AH's down with some virus or other (fever, tummy ache, the likes) but she seem a lot better after taking some meds & the 2 day MC she got from the doc certainly helped.... i believe any break from school is a much welcomed diversion ;)

Freedom

Travel on a freshly resurfaced highway and we'd probably get an inkling of what sudden unlimited freedom might feel like !!! and i must tell you for me its pretty scaaaary.

Just picture it..... there you are speeding down the highway, out on one of your endless tight schedules, focused on staying on the fast lane and god save any errant drivers that might get in your way !! then suddenly, pooof, there're no more lines or markers to mark your way. you're in unchartered territory. you're thinking, "whoa.... no markers" and you feel a stab of loss at first but the sudden freedom excites you and automatically you speed up, eager to be king of the pack. but it doesnt take you long to realise you're not the only one. everyone else is scrambling to be ahead, its a free for all: "oh noooo, what the hell is that guy doing ? he's not supposed to cut across like that" and next you're screaming "you moron !!! jgn makan jalan lah ... stick to your bloody lane (but of course theres no lane to stick to anymore)". you push ahead but even though the newly laid surface is such a joy, before long you're praying that the stretch would end and that order be restored to your life in the form of that simple white line.

Theres order and theres chaos. which brings me to wonder, can we really truly handle unlimited freedom?!


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The istana is under termite attack !!!!!!! well that certainly galvanized the state govt into calling a meeting to settle the matter (nobody wants to face Tuanku's wrath obviously lol). not knowing her way around, the new boss roped me in (i am after all a 'veteran' of long standing lol). one has to be extremely careful with istana projects, they certainly are a breed apart. silap2 kena buang negeri heheh. anyway, it dragged on and on and on for close to 2 hours (i was having problems focussing by then and my empty tummy didnt help one bit lol). ended up all 7 istanas are to be treated. bummer.... more work for moi.

Somehow the whole thing drained whatever energy i had left and by the time i got home and broke fast.... melepek giler !! Sad to report, not only did i miss out on my thursday gym session @ maksak, i also couldnt muster up enough will to attempt a nite run. just sempat jemaah with the kiddos, yassin & terus padam *sigh* you're such a wimp pah !!

Aduhai Wak Mon..

Gawd, how does she do it?!! after all these years she still manages to pack a wallop !!!!!! wak mon.... a small wiry 72 year old woman who has hands of steel (believe me i am not exaggerating here) and who also happens to be my favourite masseuse of all time. aduh... never ever be deceived by her appearance.... she definately isnt one for the faint hearted lol.

Some would probably consider it 'torture' especially those who goes for a massage expecting to be lulled to sleep. oh nooooo... not with wak mon. when she gets to certain parts of your body you'd have to try your utmost best not to scream and embarrass yourself lol tapi i tell ya..... the feeling you get after all that. its well worth the 'pain' !!!!!! in fact i skipped lunch today for an hour long session. ahhhhhhh... besh :)

OK, when you're almost ancient like me theres a couple of things you gotta take care off or else lol. and top on that list is maintaining a much used & often abused body. you young 'uns out there, never take your body for granted (like i did when i was younger... yea, i should've known better but put it down to the arrogance of youth) see, it is the only one we've got and spareparts are near impossible to find (klu pun ada). now i make sure i take some basic supplements..... antioxidants, vitamins, minerals..... and it helps i guess coz i'm doing ok so far lol. i also believe in jamu & makjun. hehe... mengarut you say ?!! maybe..... but just look at the majestic looking javanese ladies. and in all probability, most of the famous minah indons are taking it as well. i mean after all it is part of their culture (mat salleh tu lain ahh, they have their liquor to warm their bodies & kecutkan urat lol). also kan, look at the indon workers... weh, kuat nak mampus !! when i'm out on site i see them slogging away like nobody's business regardless of age or gender. so i figure there must be some truth in it lah somehow.

Back to wak mon. i go see her every month and shes worth every visit. even if you dont have a wak mon to channel out your masochistic tendencies lol i believe getting in touch with your body through massage is beneficial... but not the 'sg wang/bukit bintang' kind lah obviously lol

Neeways... regardless of how, where or when...... lets look after that body ok people !!! and i leave you with this reminder or rather, gentle prodding from baz luhrmann ;)

Wear sunscreen.......

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...You're not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing

Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind...the race is long, and in the end its only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Dont feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life...the most interesting people I know didnt know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still dont.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, youll miss them when theyre gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you wont, maybe you'll have children, maybe you wont, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary...what ever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either - your choices are half chance, so are everybody elses.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can...dont be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, its the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance...even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you dont follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, youll never know when theyll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, price will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time its 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

An empty gym !?!

Earlier this year MAKSAK opened a mini gym at the place where i work. its really teeny weeny by most standards but equipped with brand new stuff (mainly 3 threadmills, 2 bikes, a compact weightlifting/body toning centre and some other whatchamacallits). open workdays to all civil servants from 4.30 pm to 7 pm where tuesdays & thursdays are reserved for women.

Its for free but the surprising thing is.... sometimes nobody seem to be using it !!!!!!! sayang kan, all that equipment wasting away like that. tadi i was 'the lone threadmill runner' (said in the same tone one would use for 'the lone ranger' heheh). had the place all to myself so i stayed on for over an hour. sampai sudah nobody turned up (boring giler takde teman nak pok pek lol). tsk tsk tsk ... what can i say.... some people just dont seem to appreciate what's available for them. its free.... free !!!


Workout for the day: pounding the threadmill

Time: 62 mins

Incline: 1 & 2

Speed: 5 mins warming up & cooling down each at 5, 50 mins at mostly 7-8 with short bursts of 9.

Distance: 7.1 km

Calories burned: 490

State of mind & body: a little tired but plenty happy :)

Most of the people close to me are couch potatoes (used to be one myself lol) so i dont really know where i'm going with this, whether i'm doing ok or otherwise. but i do know it feels great !!!

I think tonite i'd better continue my reading of the tafsir alquran.... its been awhile.

New boss

I'm usually amongst the earliest to the office but who do i find switching the lights on and generally 'starting' up the office this morning? my new boss !!!!!! and due to my profession, its another lady boss of course (in the quantity surveying line, the men have mostly abandoned the public sector for greener pasteurs). hmmmm.... must take note the lady comes in early. i've been around this place close to 19 yrs and since then, bosses have come and gone (and i sure as hell seen all kinds of management styles lol). through it all, i've found that the best way to survive is still to observe and 'ikut rentak terkini'.

Right in the middle of a staff meeting, the hubby called. wanted to have b/fast with me but i was only about halfway through the meeting (with the new boss somemore). poor baby.... he was at the doc's and the report from last week's test shows very high levels of cholesterol & sugar. no 2 ways about it now, he's gotta be on meds. plus sticking to a better diet & exercise routine. *sigh* thats easier said then done you know. its difficult for a wife to insist on such things coz if we're not careful it comes across as being pushy & bossy when all the while its because we care..... maybe a little too much. anyway, he has to be the one committed to taking better care of his health but i'll be here beside him. i'll always be here, God willing.

I'm resting a little easier knowing the eldest has started his new year in UPSI. dropped him off at Kampus Sultan Azlan Shah, Tg Malim around 2.30 pm and he was extremely pleased to observe that his student block (where he's sharing an apartment unit with 5 of his mates) was squeezed in between ones for ladies !!!! that should keep them pretty well occupied lol.

Yesterday i was too pooped to get online so i'm jotting this one down today just for my record.

Threadmill work (03/07/05)

Time: 35 mins

Incline: 1 & 2

Speed: warm up & cool down speeds of 5, about 25 mins of 7, 8 & 9.

Distance: 4 km

Calories burned: 306

Just read about the Putrajaya Half Marathon from fadzli's blog. hmmmmm... looks kinda interesting... specially the 7 km women's veteran category. 7 km within 1 hr 10 mins seem pretty manageable but honestly, the thought of racing just scares the shit outta me !!!!! even though its not bloody likely anyone's expecting me to blaze my way through the 7 km (a snail's pace is more like it lol) but still scary nevertheless. *thinking thinking* i might be quaking in my 2" heels right now but it is still a loooooong way away. ni lah org kata phenomena 'takut tapi mau' hehehe.... wonder if they'll take in last minute entries ?!! in case i suddenly strike my urat berani closer to the event. well definately something to sleep on :)

Oh.. and theres a mistake in the qualifying time for Category D at the Code, Categories, Age Group, Distance, Qualifying Time Table for the Putrajaya Half Marathon. It should read 2 hrs 45 mins instead of 3 hrs 45 mins i think, otherwise it doesnt make sense that its a longer time than the one alotted for Category E. would have contacted the people involved but they didnt provide any email addy...... aah well, they're bound to notice it sooner or later.

Shopping? Do i have to ?!

The past 2 days have been madness.... the eldest goes back to college this sunday and since its been a while since we last shopped for his stuff i took leave from work just for that. yuk..... who said women loved shopping? its pretty damn stressful is what it is !!!!!

Today AI (my 2nd) starts his 1st of a series of 5 motivational talks organized by petronas for their staff's children. registration was at 7 am !!!! just imagine... suria klcc was like a ghost ship then. since the seminar ends at 1 pm my daughter & i had almost 6 hours of lepak time on our hands (almost unheard of otherwise lol). gawd, it was a strange feeling indeed watching a 'dead' mall come alive...... it was eeriely quiet at first but by 10 am we were starting to wonder where the hell did all the people suddenly come from?

Just to help past the time (i'm not one for shopping and neither is my daughter) we decided to go see a movie and ended up watching war of the world. my daughter enjoyed herself enormously but to be honest, i'm not really a cruise fan (as a hero he's a little too short for my taste) and though the story line is interesting, its non too believable. i prefer independence day i think. but initial d doesnt look too shabby either so maybe next saturday we'll go watch that one ! and of course the fantastic 4 after that :)

When we finally reached home around 4, golfman was already back and from the look of things he probably had a terrible game. aahh well, at least theres akademi fantasia tonite.... that always cheers him up some coz hes a great fan (he watches the repeats & auditions faithfully and if thats not obsession i wonder what is lol)

Gotta rest.... tomorrow's probably going to be a another loooong day since mr golfman here has another tourny arranged and that means i'll be sending the kiddo to tanjong malim all by me own self.


Off-Me-Butt Report
*sigh* to tired to do any running...... semalam KO and looks like tonite pun KO. but must do some stretching before bed at the very least.