Accessibility

.. and its impact on a relationship.

I'm fascinated by the differences each generation go thru as they play the courtship game.

I remember stories my maktok used to relate about her many beaus and how they had to curi2 pandang during kenduris and social gatherings. but nothing really happened unless somebody did the meminang because courtship then did not include going out on dates and such.

I also recall stories of my besotted father cycling all the way from ipoh to sitiawan, probably on some rundown basikal tua, just so he could meet my mom. but however ardent, distance separated them and meetings were few and far between.

And even during the courtship of golfman & yours truly, where public transport was so much better, snail mail greatly improved & phonecalls though expensive, were at our disposal; there was still a vast amount of time when we were on our own... missing the other half, wondering what they were up to... merindu dan terus merindu.

But now, with the advent of the mobile phone or cell phone or handphone or whatever you want to call the most canggih of canggih means of communication, made accessible to ALL regardless of age, position, belief (or political standing lol), we are accessible to one another 24/7.

Not only thru the calls & sms'es, but theres also the internet with the webcams, im's and ym's!! is there a time when we're not connected?

On one hand i consider it a great improvement from the uncertainties that existed in the past...

"Hmmm.. dia ok tak ek, dah lama tak dengar berita"

"Dah bertolak ke belum ni? harap2 jangan la terlepas bas pulak nanti"

"Ish mana pulak dia? dah sejam setengah tunggu tak nampak bayang pun lagi!!"

(Yup, all the anxiety & worry that such questions generated would've been easily settled by just a call or an sms).

On the other hand, i'm starting to think that being too accessible can actually be quite detrimental to a relationship. and that it is also the cause of many unnecessary break-ups. the key as always is in the balance. tapi boleh ke people, who are head over heels in love, exercise restrain when the technology is there for them to use and abuse?

For example..

- bila kita asyik sms or call everytime we worry about somebody.. agaknye rimas tak the other person?

- when we're required to be lovey dovey all the time.. rasanye boleh bertahan tak perasaan tu when in actual fact, we have our moods & temperaments?

- bila the other person decides to have some 'me' time (like out with her/his buddies or shopping/gaming) and she/he doesnt respond.. are you strong enough not to take it as a rejection and leave him be, or do you sulk & merajuk?

- kalau asyik connected je (and we're talking about 24/7 here).. will there still be that sense of mystery & wonder left to keep the relationship interesting or will the couple be headed for burnout?

Pening jugak bila difikir2kan. i personally feel that intimacy shouldnt be rushed, that it has its own sweet pace. in this era of instant gratification, young people rush in and rush out of relationships at an alarming rate. most of the time they dont give it enough time to mature & develope. and mostly i blame the excess in accesibility because i think it somehow creates a false sense of intimacy and allows everything to happen too fast too soon.

Only the commited, the more realistic ones and the lucky few will make it thru the courtship and into the next level. sayang sebenarnye bcos so many i'm sure would have made it if only the pace was slower, and enough space given to each other. space necessary for each to do their own thing, without having to feel guilty about it.

Macam buah tak cukup masak. kalau nak sedap kena la bagi masa untuk masak ranum.

Just my 2 cents thru observing the kiddoes & their friends.


OUTPUT
AM - 3k/tasik/3 mini loops 25 mins
(ceh, i was late again.. this time i got carried away preparing brunch for the kiddoes).