He's gone again

... and each time he does that i feel my soul shriveling up that much more. as this goes on and on and on i begin to wonder, will there come a time when it will eventually disappear into nothingness?

Of course i am not incapicitated, nor am i rendered completely useless. you'll still see a fully functional makcik going about her business. the only difference is, her heart is not with her.. its in a godforsaken land, far far away with the love of her life. and her greatest hope is that it will be kept safe and not trampled over in the excitement & challenge of a totally different environment; one that includes beautiful sights & sounds.

Nope, being apart like this doesnt seem to be getting better with age. nor is it any easier even when it is the 2nd time around. long gone is the bravado that i used to have when i was younger, and fast on its heels is the strength to bear the weight of the responsibilities alone. i find myself seeking, wanting.. no, needing the shelter & protection that his presence provide.

Its no fun going about it alone.

Letih.

Sepi.

Dan rindu.. yang teramat.