Older women

I think its heightened awareness or something. i read about it somewhere but i cant remember the details (typical me). its like you're in a packed stadium. you close your eyes and think of nothing but yellow shirts. once you open your eyes again, you'll find yourself suddenly surrounded by people in yellow shirts.... something you hadnt even noticed before.

Same thing when i found out that AF was suffering from hole in the heart or vsd. i wasnt even aware of the condition prior to it but suddenly i found myself literally bumping into so many other people with the same problem. Or the day you start driving a certain car.... suddenly the road seem to be flooded with the same model & colour lol. And other similar stuff.

Right now? Its about older women. i'm noticing the younger men around me are falling for older women. 2 nephews, a cousin plus 1 officemate. the thing is, they seem to be getting a lot of flak about it especially from their parents. i dunno... personally i dont think theres anything wrong with it so long as both parties are serious and equally aware of what they're getting into. i agree it does have the potential of being extremely challenging but what relationship doesnt? and we cant deny the fact that our beloved prophet did have a most rewarding and cherished union with khadijah.

I enjoy a good rapport with the younger people in our large extended family especially on the hubby's side but somehow that makes the older folks a little wary of me. *sigh* puhleeze, its not a popularity contest and i'm not out to score points.... i just empathize more with the kids, thats all. they're people too, with hopes & feelings and would love to be respected that little bit more.

A nephew thats very close to me is going thru a very hard time. he's trying to get over a terrible road accident... one that he had with his girlfriend, a girl his mom isnt too keen on to put it mildly. i dont know why (and he confesses he doesnt know either lol) but he's always been attracted to older girls and because his mom hates it, he goes about it secretly. its sad that he has to resort to slinking around and i have adviced him to either stop or have it out with his mom. apparently he has done neither and the accident brought everything out in the open. they both suffered serious injuries and involve a certain disfigurement to the girl's face.

The poor lad's been discouraged to see the girl and his mom is using everything she's got to break them up. i honestly dont think he was all that serious about the relationship to begin with, but the accident kinda changed things. i mean sharing a near death experience would naturally create some sort of special bond, a closeness. and i'm sure there's quite a measure of guilt thrown in regardless of whether its warranted or not. he has to be given the chance to face his feelings, examine it and hopefully make the right decisions as to where the relationship is headed. i've cautioned him that basing a relationship on guilt and sympathy alone was going to be disastrous. there has to be love. i still think denying him that certain freedom is only pushing him into a tight corner and isnt helping him one bit.

Now that he's up and about, he admits that they're seeing each other again but still without his mom's knowledge nor consent. again, i've adviced him to come clean but this time he says, he has his dad on his side so he's not too worried. *sigh* i still dont like it (i would be soo hurt if kept in the dark that way) and i personally think he's sitting on a time bomb. but i guess they know what they're doing and i can only pray that it would turn out well for all parties concerned.

People have been saying its easy for me to be open minded since its not my kid thats involved. i've spent some time really really thinking about it. yes i admit, if the boyz were dating an older girl i sure as hell would caution them to be very sure. such a relationship would have its own peculiarities and challenges and they'd have to be ascertive enough as a man to make it work. its ok if its just a couple of years separating them. i dont want to offend anyone but if the gap in years is too big, in the long run the men could be facing problems in the sexual aspect. they should anticipate the effects of their partner's menopause and be willing to make certain sacrifices. i know this for a fact because a close friend has made me his confidant in such matters and i can assure you that right now, the problems he's facing is pretty real. if one is contemplating marriage, there is much to consider. but i also feel that an older woman could be more understanding and supportive due to her experience & maturity and if that is what a man is seeking in a relationship, so be it.

And i still stand by the fact that, especially in the matters of the heart, we can only give our advice and opinion, the pros & the cons. because in the end, its all up to the person in question to determine their own happiness. and as parents, after absolving our responsibility in dispensing what we think is the right advice, we should stand by the children. it may be the right choice or it may not, but who's to know what the future holds? so, tak payah la pening2 sangat.... berusaha & berdoa and leave the rest in the all knowing hands of the AlMighty.

We made time for solat jemaah at the surau tonite. i've decided without Abe, the malam jumaat's would be spent with the rest of the jemaah at the surau. It would be something to do for me & the kids, and a break for AI who has been designated the new imam at home for maghrib & isya, a post that AF will be taking over once he's home for term break.

I've also gotten myself a new x-pax pact from celcom. seems that i can receive Abe's sms's via maxis but he hasnt been getting any of mine and the problem would only be resolved if i had a 019 line. so tadaaaaa..... mengalahkan towke babi (hehehe) i'm now going about with 2 h/phones lol

p.s. i sure am missing you hon

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** Running Log **

I was late leaving the house so just managed a short session this morning (otherwise i wouldnt have been able to punch in on time lol).

2 small laps (mosque route)= about 2.5 km= 20 mins