Alone again.. unnaturally

*SIGH*

Time flies.... sebulan berlalu macam tu je. pejam celik tau2 dah pun sampai ke last weekend untuk together-gether.

Saturday passed in a whirlwind of activities. as usual cik Abe tu last minute baru nak settle macam2; bank la, celcom la, saman la.... eeeh, memang memacam!! tu pun nasib baik masa cuti khamis lalu ada gak la bill2 yang dah dilangsaikan kalau idak lagi FENING sbb you know what happens with loose ends?! haaa, makcik ni gak la yang kena terhegeh2 meny'ettle'nya nanti!! first thing in the morning kitorang serbu celcom seksyen 9 sbb dek kerana isu roaming meroaming, line dah kena bar. sunday pulak dah nak fly off so kena gak la settle one way or the other. cek abe tu ngamuk sebenarnya sbb dia dah batal certain oversea services earlier tapi masih lagi kena caj (nak citer panjang2 pun tak faham sgt lol) and celcom promised to look into it tapi akhirnya ntah apa yang jadi terus bar je line. hard luck for us, it was the 3rd saturday of the month so counter tak buka. nak bayar kat deposit machine, tak sure final figure so kena KIV (read: makcik kena settle).

Pastu njenguk lak kat balai polis seksyen 11 sbb nak semak saman tapi adik guard tu kata, pukul 10 baru counter buka so patah balik kat syedina seksyen 9 for tosei and apom (weh sambal tosei kat situ sedap giler... not the one yg putih kelapa tu but one that's tomato base & spicy). as usual cek abe pekena daging ketul2 besar masak hitam yang dia suka tu, also ikan goreng (yea with tosei... pelik tapi benar lol). pastu tak cukup... tambah capati lak, makan kaw kaw punya hehe, maklum la lepas ni susah skit nak makan best2 (according to him masakan turkmen kurang berperisa). dah sampai nak bangun pun kena sodok baru la kitorang made our way back to the police station. dah masuk pun kawasan balai tenguk2 counter tutup jugak sbb 'offline'. sayup2 terdengar rungutan cek abe... rupa2nya dia dah cek dah 2-3 hari sebelum ni tapi dok 'offline' memanjang. alahai apo nak dikato dah nasib makcik ni agaknya. kalau idak kan senang, bila dah semak tu boleh la dia terus merayu untuk kurangkan skit saman tu, pastu bayar. now its back to me.

Dah dua benda tersangkut ni takut gak la 'mood' cik Abe tu bertukar dari 'lovey dovey' kepada 'grumpy mumpy'... maklum la fuse tu kekadang pendek la gak tapi alhamdulillah, bersemangat lak dia nak tunjukkan branch southern bank yg keluarkan pinjaman avanza kitorang. road tax mati by early november so kena la bersedia awal, lebih2 lagi sbb makcik ni tak brape sure kat mana hala tuju tempatnya (selalunya dia yang uruskan, kita menemankan je tu pun baru sekali). heh, nasib baik gak la pegi round2 kat ss2 tu, memang tak ingat pun the long & winding jalan langsung lol. as usual sambil round2 sambil borak2.... rupanya ada lagi hasrat cik Abe yang dipendamkan untuk saat2 akhir. dia nak cari paraphanelia mobile phone yang kengkawan turkmen dia kirim!!! laaaaa ingat ke semua dah ready!!! so singgah la kat umah sekejap to pick up our lil gal (yang sebelum nih tak nak ikut sbb asyik mengadun tahi mata lol) sebelum merayap kat PAS (plaza alam sentral).

Sementara nak nunggu si daro siap, bertukar pulak plan asal. tak jadi bershopping dulu tapi melencong makan lunch sbb takut tak jumpa barang yang dicari terus tersasar sampai kepetang. sebenornya cik Abe tu dah mula trauma teringatkan peritnya nak dapat makanan yang dia suka kat turkmenistan tu so walaupun kenyang tadi pun tak hilang lagi, ikut je la rentak dia. maklum la orang nak pegi jauh kan. so kitorang pun bertandang la kat restoran kegemaran dia kat area seksyen 13 tu. restoran hassan, kedai kelantan yang agak fames gak la kat taipan subang jaya dah buka branch kat situ. their speciality - ayam kampung goreng panas2. apa lagi cik Abe pun makan la dengan penuh berselera sekali... between the 3 of us habis la 6 ketul chicken halves, siput sedut, sambal petai, masak darat - weh dahsyat gak la. sengkak perut ni tak terkira tapi tenguk yang tersayang tersengeh gumbira maka tanggung aje la kan ;)

Gendang gendut tali kecapi kenyang perut memang senang hati (tapi kalau terlajak boleh terbodoh hik hik). from there kitorang terus tuju ke PAS where the whole of its 3rd floor is dedicated to barang2 telekomunikasi & komputer. wah heaven la pakcik tu macam2 ada tapi turns out, bila dah banyak choice tu lain lak jadinya... kejap2 dok tepon anak jantan sulung dia (yg pakar mende2 camni) untuk advice sampai bengkerk gak la mat/minah yang menjual tu. dan dalam dok singgah sana, singgah sini, tanya tu, tenguk ni, tup tup member siap trade in handphone lagik you!!! dulu masa he got himself a new hp dia pass down to me his nokia 'daun' (tak ingat la model) tapi lately macam bermasalah la skit hp daun tu. rupanya sambil dok beli memory stick/card/whatever yang orang kirim, cek abe tu dok merisik pasal razr baru yg v3i tu. ingat ke memain je tapi siap tanya daun tu laku brape kalau trade in yada yada yada and to make a long story short, bayar RM330.00 dapat motorolla razr v3i baru!!!! heheh hebat gak la sidia tu buat magik.... tapi jangan silap sangka, bukan dapat kat kita pun hp baru tu, dia gak yang guna. kita ni biasa la dapat hand me down lagi, kali ni samsung slide ntah apa ntah. weh la weh samsung pun samsung la, asalkan boleh pakai.... tipah 'tak kisah' (mengikut nada fames si budak aiman hehehe).

Boyed up by his successful bargaining, ringan je la cik Abe tu melayan kami... siap window shopping kat SACC. its something that he hates doing (his usual reaction - amende la you all ni, pusing2 tak gak beli2, sheesh) and normally avoids it like the plaque. seronok anak dara dia dapat merayap ngan her dad, selalunya ngan mama je sbb daddy seringkali MIA main golf (tapi bab tu bebudak dah faham sangat). in fact kitorang tak beli apa2 pun tapi dalam pusing2 tu abahnya yang beli kasut ala2 mocassin kat primavera. mula2 dia teragak2 gak tapi atas desakan his 'women' maka bertambah la koleksi kasut dia. no worries, memang lawa pun kasut tu. last stop was the cold storage where he wanted to get, of all things, aji-no-moto. msg, thats the one thing that i just cant seem to wean him off - "takde maggi (in this case aji-no-moto) tak jadik mak". ish ish dia tak nak cuba pun nak kurang2kan penggunaan benda tu so nak wat camane kan... bukan bebudak nak ditegur lelebih. sidaro lak cepat je tangan tu mencapai sepeket 'fresh strawberries' yang bukan saja segar tapi gemuk2 betui. apa lagi kalau bukan pengaruh pasangan bahagia CT ngan Dato K lol. ya lah nak dip2 in chocolate gitu. akhirnya untuk kitorang yang basically lemah skit bab shopping2 ni kira sakan gak la hari tu.

Sengaja pun bagi peluang & ruang untuk anak beranak tu berbonding sbb i'm not the only one who'll be missing him. daddy's girl dalam senyap2 makan hati dok merindu; the boys pun macam tu gak sbb we're a close-knit family. so the spirit of together-getherness tu kekal sampai ke malam and as usual the last nite saw us all camping reramai sambil temankan babah packing barang2 dia - termasuk la abang long yang balik dari tanjong malim petang tu. as for AI kat alor gajah tu walaupun tak balik, he's only a phone call away and always close to our hearts.

Of course sunday morning tiba jua and by 7.30 am dah sampai pun kat KLIA. walaupun i'd rather stay till the very last moment to see him off tapi respecting his wishes, kitorang dengan berat hatinya just dropped him kat departure area tu je ("tak yah la tunggu sbb sedap skit hati abah bila dengar you all selamat sampai kat rumah sebelum abah bertolak"). masa dia nak sarongkan jacket ke badan, baru la kitorang perasan yang kasut baru cik Abe tu matching habis ngan leather jacket dia. wah tersengeh panjang abahnya dapat pujian (hensem ala2 hero hindustan gitu) tapi sidaro tu awal2 lagi siap warning, jangan ngorat2!! heheh dah tua2 ni tak payah nak bising2 sbb dah ada orang take over - in fact lagi brutal dari mama dia nampaknya. sempat la sedapkan hati yang tersayang sebelum dia berlepas bila kitorang 3 beranak sampai kat shah alam dengan selamat. lepas tapow breakfast terus balik rumah sambung tido.

SUNYI sesunyi2nya.

Legaa

Hah, ringan rasa otak bila dah tahu sikit sebanyak whats wrong with my right shoulder.... maklum saja la macam2 penyakit dah timbul zaman millenium ni. sometimes the unexpected happens so kena laa ready2kan minda untuk apa saja kan. kang terkejut badak kang susah pulak kan lol.

Semalam pepagi lagi golfman and I dah bertandang kat SJMC's imaging dept. walaupun my appointment was set at 11 am tapi i was advised by the nurses to try my luck by coming early. selalunya kalau yg sepatutnya datang tu lambat, they always slot in saper je yang ada kat situ. and memang betul pun... i heard my name called around 9.30 am and after a brief wait at the MRI lounge, i was already being asked politely to strip and don the std hospital garbs - alaaa the kind with lots of ribbons tu. with my bad arm siksa gak la nak ikat2 kat belakang tu, nasib baik just the top part je (i got to keep my skirt on lol) kalau idak lagi susah nak make sure terikat sampai kebawah.

Walaupun MRI ni sebenarnya takde apa2 pun tapi for a first timer suspen gak la. The operator (or what is it you call the person manning the machine ek?) was a very nice lady... friendly & reassuring. agaknya dia nampak kot makcik nih dah mula cemas & kecut perut, walaupun i honestly thought the cool & unconcerned air i was putting on was working lol. she explained about the intermittent loud noises that i would be experiencing and that it was during such times that she needed me to keep absolutely still. weh risau gak la tak boleh duduk diam2 sbb i was still having this rather gerrulous sore throat that brought on coughing fits right out of the blue. and before she pushed the button that was to slip me into the cavenous depths of the machine, she armed me with 1. a buzzer in case i needed to catch her attention 2. huge headphones (then playing soft sentimental music) to cut off the noise. heh but i tell ya theres nothing that can stop the assault to your eardrums once the twanging starts lol.

Once i was in there, the only thing that stopped me from feeling like i was locked up in a coffin was the fact that the cavity was lighted. whew, for people who are claustrophobic, its definately not a place you'd want to be in. sempit gak laa... got me to wondering kalau jenis badan betui2 huge tu kot tersengkang ke bila masuk? And all through the half hour 'ordeal' (which actually wasnt all that bad cept for the fact that towards the end, my muscles started to cramp up from the all the inactivity lol), i kept thinking about how it must have been for my 2nd son when he had to go through the same experience 2x. he was so young that first time, barely 1 year old when they wanted to check out his infarcts - it must have been awfully scary for him all alone in there poor kid. and the second time was around 10 years old when he kept complaining about headaches. turn out he just needed specs, thank god.

I was dressed and back at the waiting area within 30 mins. the worse part was actually in the 'waiting' that came after that. surprisingly, it took them about an hour to come up with the report. nak buat macamane ramai sangat pesakit yang perlukan 'imaging', so masa tu dengan serta mertanya maka ranap la segala angan2 nak balik awal melepak kat rumah. sbb bukan setakat itu je, lepas tu nak kena gi ngadap specialist lak so bertapa je la kat hospital tu nampaknye.

Dapat je report terus we sneaked a peek..... macam la terra sangat tapi i was reassured gak la sbb the words that kept jumping out at us was 'unremarkable' which we gather must mean 'biasa je' la kot. And true enough the good doctor later informed us, i just had imflammed tendons and takde la yang terkoyak ke terhimpit ke atau berbagai2 'ter' lain yang lebih menakutkan. alhamdulillah. she lined out a game plan which was quite acceptable to me. the main objective - get rid of the imflammation. i was to continue taking the anti swelling/pain/inflammation meds for the next 3 weeks and i was to abstain from putting my shoulder through any kind of exertion. kalau masih sakit then its the steroid jab and kalau tak baik gak then its surgery to cuci2 kat joint tu. shessh... of course i'll be good doc. this time i promise not to 'cheat' and sneak in an aerobic session or three lol and i'll try my utmost best not to aggravate the tendons because i definitely do not want to go anywhere near the 3rd option - surgery!!

Alas, all this means absolutely no aerobics or weights for 3 whole weeks and now for me that's certainly a very long time. tapi...... nasib baik la gak i'm still allowed to run!!!!!!! the doc thinks the arm swinging that comes with the running shouldnt cause any problems so woo hooo, ada harapan la tak terus jadi sedentary gitu. with my oh so healthy appetite and no outlet, seriau gak tetiba jadi tong lak nanti hehehe.

The gist of MRI report :

Moderate signal hyperintensity is seen in the supraspinatus and infraspinatus tendons. No loss in the continuity of these tendons are demonstarted.
There is mild surrounding pertendinous free fluid.
The rest of the rotator cuff tendon appears unremarkable.
The shoulder joint is normal in allignment.
No obvious marginal osteophytosis or labral tear.
The acromio-clavicular joint appears unremarkable.

Impressions Supra and infraspinatus tendonitis.
No obvious osteoarthritis of the shoulder joint seen.


Heheh... tu la kata, legaaaaaaaaa :)

Setback

Baru jer seronok2 nak kembali berblog dah terkena pulak serangan virus-virus yang tengah ganas melanda my little corner of the world. cadangnye nak balik menjenguk pakngah & makngah osso abg din (who's actually another uncle but he's been my 'abang din' since i was a wee kid) kat sitiawan and i've even applied for leave from work midweek tapi lain lak jadinye. terdampar layu like a fat cow tak jumpa rumput seminggu, high on meds & cough syrup lol. bukak mulut je suara bukan setakat serak2 minah rock (that would have been pretty kewl) tapi lebih teruk dari bapokz siam lagik you!! and the coughs that racked my poor ole tired body... nak terjojol biji mata dibuatnya. but, the worse is over thank god, tinggal this very the degil phlegm that's plaguing my anak tekak.. nak buang tak boleh nak telan tak pergi. ish, rimas betul.

I still had a go at my aerobics class yesterday and alhamdulillah masa terkinja-kinja tu idak pulak terbatuk hehehe. kira ok ler tu so i'm slowly easing my way back into my workouts. if i'm to run in september i must start doing something soon nanti belum pun halfway through dah terpancit!!!! now that cannot happen laa must keep the 'makcik' spirit up lol

Oh and my shoulder isnt getting any better sad to say. masa flu tengah at its peak, habis satu badan sengal2 and my right shoulder ni apa lagi...... nak bergerak lebih skit pun sakit giler siot!!! to the extent that my old man kinda seret me for another check up (long overdue i might add) at SJMC last friday and since the pain seem pretty persistent, the doc wants to investigate further before deciding on a line of action. so i'm slotted for an MRI tomorrow. seriau gak ntah apa yang happening kat dalam tu kan tapi better to know then to have it all samar2 je gitu. takkan asyik nak kena steroid jab je ya tak?! doakan k. susah gak going around with a half functional right shoulder ni. paling terasa masa nak bayar toll or masa nak hulur smart tag. tangan ni tak dapat nak extend fully, terasa macam makcik berlagak hulur tangan acuh tak acuh laks heheh. dan kekadang terasa pulak macam orang cacat. aduh siksa sungguh rupanya ya.

Setiap hari sentiasa bersyukur keatas segala nikmat & rahmatNya.

Runs

I embrace august with fondness for it not only marks the independence of my tanah tumpah darah but 2 years ago, it was this month that i'd put my foot down and told myself firmly, "enough is enough"!!!!! it was time i stopped abusing my body and started taking full responsibility over the state of my own health. now the miracle was not in my realisation of that fact because i was after all well over 40. noooo... it was that i actually listened to myself for a change lol (any hardcore procrastinator would appreciate what that really means)!!!!

I'm consistently active now compared to the couch potato makcik i was back then. and like a potato i only rolled when i was pushed lol or when i panicked everytime there was the slightest hint of chestpain. now i get restless if i dont sweat like a hog ... ugh, horse i mean, a couple of times a week (not including the nightly romps when the man is home). alaaaa... bukan macam professional runner gitu, gilerrr dah ganyut lol tapi saja seronok-seronok set simple targets and pushing the body to meet them. cukup la sekadar a 3-4 km run 2-3 times a week or 5-8km on a good day. selangseli pulak dengan 1 hr 'fun' aerobics 3 times a week. yeah, these days i'm feeling so much better with myself and memang betul la, we mellow with age and you get to enjoy a lot more inner peace then before. its like you gradually leave behind whatever remaining angst or excess emotional baggage you'd been lugging around once you cross that 40's threshold. at least its that way for me, thank god. in fact theres so so much to be thankful for - syukur alhamdulillah.

Walaupun i'm not really up to running races tapi seronok gak check up on the upcoming runs and from the many that's listed, there's 2 that somehow tickles my fancy: the putrajaya international marathon & the larian shah alam. putrajaya bcos theres always lots and lots of categories & prizes up for grabs (including veterans like me) and shah alam bcos i'm a resident (duh!!!) lol. unfortunately these 2 runs are always scheduled pretty close together and to top it all, this year, its on the same date - september 10th!!!!! alahai... i'm gonna miss out on the putrajaya thingy again laaa nampak nya!!!

I'm back

Its been a while. in fact its been a looooooooooooooooooong while lol.

Pejam celik pejam celik dah pun Ogos. bulan merdeka. a month to regale in our country's independence (our 49th right?). to appreciate the courage & sacrifice made by our forefathers. to remind ourselves just how lucky we are to be free. yeah. beautiful thoughts indeed but in the end, the extent of our patriotism would mainly consist of putting up multiple flags on our multiple cars and multiple properties. even the colourful independence day parade sometimes garners just a cursory interest. ya memang ramai yang, dengan penuh semangatnya, akan keluar dinihari lagi untuk menyaksikan perarakan kemerdekaan, tetapi ramai juga yang, dengan penuh semangatnya, akan mengambil kesempatan untuk 'sleep in' dan tidak menghiraukan pun tayangan secara langsung yang diadakan di kaca tv.

Oh and did i forget to mention the merdeka sale frenzy... and our unflailing support for it?!!

Tapi nak buat macamana? the further away we are from that historic event the tougher it seems to 'feel' any of its impact. especially with our freshly bred 'instant gratification' generation.... it has as much effect as a fairy tale or a folk tale or whatever. even the escalating zionist atrocity isnt getting us out of our seats longer than the initial outrage.

Ntah la. Nak betulkan pun tak tau where to start. And so life goes 'merrily' on.

On autopilot

Yeah i'm still alive and for the most of it, doing quite ok.

Its just that on a more personal level, i seem to be on some sort of autopilot right now. dunno, probably the body's reaction to this ever growing ache that has started from the depths of my soul and is slowly spreading.

I'm in limbo...... just existing. almost a shadow lurking through this passage of time that has suddenly turn thick, murky and motionless on me. the thing is, if i was a single entity to begin with i would manage just fine but i'm part of a whole and i'm missing the half that completes me.

Its been almost 3 months, I need my man with me.

Bomb scare

At around 10 - 10.15 am today all the 'warga kerja' of the selangor state secretariat were shocked by news of a bomb in the building. like lambs ready for slaughter everyone followed the instructions to vacate the premise. all very calm, very regimented with almost no hint of panic, and it somehow struck me that we were either a breed of very brave souls or too insulated by a false sense of security that the possibility of being blown to bits was just beyond our comprehension. i'm a little scared to admit that its probably the latter... scared because being in a state of denial doesnt auger well for a well prepared reaction in the face of such an event.

Just look at security. like most things around here it has fallen into the blow hot n blow cold category. sometimes security is tighter than a friggin a--hole but then there are also days you could sashay your way pass the gates, like a prostitute strutting her wares, without eliciting even a protesting blink from the guards. if one really pondered at what could've gotten through those gates, i dont think we could be sitting at our desks as serenely as we're doing now, almost without a care in the world. but we've always been this easily lulled by our peaceful environment plus the fact that violence has never been a way of life around these parts.

But is all that going to change soon?

Sigh.... dunno.

But at least for now, it turned out to be just another bomb scare. but then again, one can also get used to such scares..... and be lulled deeper and deeper into that false sense of security. until one not-so-fine day, kabooooooom!!!

Such gory scenarios belong to the movie screens and lets keep it that way. i dont think i much fancy having my grey matter splattered all over the rubble.

Mini domestic glitches

I woke up this morning to a leaking kitchen sink. sunday, when most plumbers are claiming their day of rest and prone to charging double if roused from it in any way. now whats a woman to do? she surely cant just let the already messy wet kitchen become any messier can she?

But first things first. its that customary morning run for her to put things in its proper perspective lol. i'd made a pact earlier with AH that we'd have McD's big breakfast if she'd trade her sunday snooze-in for some communal aerobic fun at the dataran shah alam. we even stopped over to pick up an 'anak buah' cum officemate who wanted to tag along.

After sweating it out and then filling up to the brim at McD's (sorta counter productive eh - exercise giler2 pastu makan sakan2 lol but hey, one's gotta eat kan), its back to the leaky sink for me. adeh.... susah takde handyman around nih. the boys pulak awal2 lagi dah lari sebatu when it comes to this sorta thing. problem computer or any of the techie stuff takpe but nope, nothing to do with the kitchen or bathroom. sheeeesh!!

A woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do!!

The problem: leak, leak, leak.

The solution: lots of silicone glue to act as sealant at the joints and caulking thread to tighten up the dripping cleaning outlet. should work till somebody who knows whatever hell he's doing takes over lol


The Week in a Flash

Mon 15/05/06
- Buzy with the upcoming SOC. once done with the candles and stuff, its packing all manners of krepek2 into cute little goodie bags - pisang, ubi, bawang, kuih bangkit etc. tak tumpah macam assembly line kat kilang lol

Tues 16/05/06
- paperwork & more krepek-merepek heheh.
- 1 hr aerobics with malik yeehaaa, 20 mins treadmill/2km/150kj

Wed 17/05/06
-AI is now the proud owner of a driver's license yay!!!!!!!!

Thurs 18/05/06
- AF's trial run at paparoti alam sentral: 12 noon - 10 pm @ 2.50/hr. if he pass muster then its a month's partime job for him. when he's on a 'project' and needs to earn some xtra cash its mostly the food outlets for him. he says he likes food preparation and the feeling of going back to basics.
- had to forgo the teh tarik session with my semsas78 gang @ awan besar.
- 1 hr aerobics, again with malik but a rather mild session this time, probably targetted to the more sedentary members.

Fri 19/05/06
- AH had a friend's birthday party to attend and after picking her up we went straight to TGV bukit raja for the midnite screening of Da vinci code & MI3. the original plan was to leave her home with opah bcos of the adult rating for da vinci tapi tak sampai hati la plak so the boys went on ahead to breaking codes while we settled for the more predictable tom cruise.
- didnt really push myself yesterday so made up with an early morning run just before work
25 mins/3 x 1km lap

Sat 20/05/06
- theres nothing more mundane then chores and weekly marketing. fish, meat, poultry - into the freezer. garlics & onions - sessi kopek-mengopek sampai jadi calon pelakon airmata lol.
- was so happy when AH & AF decided to hit some tennis balls while i headed for the gym (AI paling mengelat when it comes to any form of physical activity - he chose to stay home and 'teman' opah, sheesh) @ KSAS. but at least its 2 out of 3 and they're moving their butts along with me lol.
35 mins treadmill/4km/300kj

Sun 21/05/06
- 1 hr aerobics plus 2 x 1km lap at the tasik

A blessed day

Happy Birthday Abe
Happy Birthday Abe
Happy Birthday Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday Abe !!!!!!

Its the man's 48th and the first spent away from home but the kids doas & mine will be with him wherever he goes. Semoga Rahmat & Nikmat Nya milik mu senantiasa Abe ku saye :)

It's also AI's day of surprises..
i. he passed his driving test at first go (he was so certain he wouldnt make it thru the 'on the road' portion sbb asyik mati engine je sebelum ni - mat gabra hehehe)
ii. with the release of the UPU results today, by noon he was most happy to report he did get the course he had so wanted!!!!! he's pretty adamant about taking it up and letting go of the matrix offer. apa2lah anak, asalkan terus berusaha.

Seribu syukur. thank you for such a blessed day Lord!!

As for me i was fully occupied with more SOC related activities. mujur AF's home for term break so at least he's around to take over some of my 'supir' duties... otherwise its the taxi for AH. early morning saw myself and 3 others in banting (yea banting of all places) for the fitting of a 2 piece suit assigned to all ajks involved with 'protocol' duty. prior to this we were already given uniformed baju kurungs (nothing to get excited about since baju kurung was never a fav... but heck its free lol). then it was back to juggling work with more and more cenderahati preparation. the office is really starting to look like a bazaar!!!!

Didnt know AF was fasting and it was a good thing he had the foresight to get enough nando's chicken to go round. Sorry la ma sempat such a cincai breaking fast je yang. its one of those days.

Workout Update
Tues 09/05/06
- 1 hr utterly satisfying aerobics session with malik. berpeluh sakan and with his interesting moves, there was no room for boredom to set in.

Wed 10/05/06
- morning run 3 x 1km lap in 20 mins.

Thurs 11/05/06
- 30 mins aerobics abandoned halfway due to a boring instructor. continued at gym.
- treadmill work: 30 mins/3.8km/speed 9/250 kj followed by 5 mins/0.3km/speed6.5/30kj

On Procrastinating

Kita jadi tak bermaya bila banyak yang tertunggak.

Its easy for people like me to get into such situations. talk to another procrastinator and they'll know exactly what i mean. you let things pile up one after another and before you know it you're overwhelmed. its suddenly all too much and you just want to run away and hide while pretending you have everything under control. and its not like its something new... time and time again, you let it happen. and when you're heavy on the years like me, you sort of run out of excuses. for better for worse, you're a procrastinator and you learn to deal with it, somehow.

Top on my list was a story i'd promise some good people for a good cause. but try as i might, i just couldnt come up with anything remotely decent and i dilly dallied till the promised datelines came and went so many times that i wanted to puke!! heavy of heart i forced myself to face it no matter what and thankfully i finally did get it done walaupun tak sebaik mana. oh tersangat la lega nya sekarang and to my wonderful friend/s, thank you for being so patient with me and the best of luck in your endeavours!! anyway, now i can blog again instead of being ravaged by either guilt or remorse for merepek'ing when in actual fact, i should be keeping my promise :)

Next was setting up an appointment with the toyota car service. the avanza was due for its 22,000 km checkup and i kept postponing making that call. kononnya takut nak commit - maybe nak pakai la, susah nak arrange la, macam2 and i kept mum till the very last moment. AF needed the car to cart back all the stuff he'd accumulated during his 3 year stay in sg petani. and of course i wanted the car in tip top condition for him so that was what finally pushed me into action. shessh..... ngarut betui kan!!

Then there're those few bills that still need settling and for the life of me i cant understand why i'm shirking from it. susah sangat ke nak sumbat cheque into an envelope and pay off that cukai pintu hmmm? i guess a great part of my problem lies in my inability to make & stick to a decision. now indecision, in case you hadn't noticed, is a killer to action - "eh kirim je la payment tu - hmmm tapi kalau gi sendiri lagi cepat tapi kat mana pulak majlis daerah kuala selangor tu ek?!!? - ish kirim je la tapi where's that white envelope again? - eeek, dah lambat sangat ni kena pegi sendiri tapi bila?". By the time i decide to really act on it, the house kat bkt cerakah mesti dah kena sitta or something.

Dah 40 lebih pun tak tau2 jugak lagi?! its not that i dont bask in the the enormous relief or the heavenly bliss i get when i've acccomplised all my tasks, dreaded or otherwise!!!!!! tapi entah la ye.... maybe i secretly get off from all this head bashing but somehow forgot to clue myself in on it kot lol?!!!?


The Week in A Flash (01/05/06 - 07/05/06)

1st May - Labour Day.
- Meronda klcc with the 2 kiddos. mainly to cash out some leftover isetan vouchers Abe won for golfing which we spent mostly on japanese foodstuff... balik buat sendiri sushi etc. we then parked our butts @ kinokuniya, where we bumped into ikelah & dr in the house. memang tak sangka dan walaupun sekejap tapi best dapat jumpa kengkawan!!
- Didnt know they'd be closing down KSAS for labour's day so instead of the gym i detoured to the good ole tasik even though it was getting pretty late. had time only for a short run of 2 x 1km lap in 20 mins since it was almost maghrib and wasnt really a good idea to be huffing & puffing when the azan sounded.

02/05/05
- Tuesdays have always been something i loooked forward to bcos it would mean malik's rousing aerobic sessions. unfortunately this was the 2nd week we'd had to contend ourselves with another 'not so hebat' instructor.
1 hr of mild 'my-heart-isnt-really-in-this' aerobics.

03/05/06
- Buzy buzy day at the big O, no fooling around whatsoever. in between the never ending paperwork, persistent contractors and demanding bosses, there was also preparations for the up and coming SOC (senior officers conference) that selangor will be hosting this year. adeh... ponat den.

04/05/06
- Got the avanza serviced in the nick of time. the office driver was supposed to pick me up immediately after drop off at 8.30 but there was a misunderstanding or rather, miscommunication of sorts and i ended up waiting at the customers lobby till my car was ready round about 10.30 am. weeell, this things happen i guess but i would've taken a taxi if i'd known earlier.
- Aerobics scraped due to the DYMM Agong's visit so its the gym for me. Treadmill - 30 mins/4km/300kj @ steady jog speed of 8-9km and 10 mins/1km/80 kj @ brisk walking speed of 6-6.5.

05/05/06
- You just cant please everyone, can you?!!? I was to attend the tahlil of mak's close friend by maghrib, one which she herself couldnt (or wouldnt) attend. And i also had specific instructions to get a W800 sony ericsson for Abe's friend by day's end, for reasons best known only to him. Factor in the fact that i usually leave the office around 6-6.30 pm and and that i've AH to pick up from school by 7 pm - it didnt actually leave me much room to manuevre and a sure fire formula for turning up late... and late i was for the tahlil (but so were half of those who eventually turned up). i did try my best mak and considering the circumstances, believe me when i say i really really did.

06/05/06
- AF's back for the car and all my 3 children are with me this weekend, alhamdulillah. its a good feeling.
- Tasik morning run: 2 laps x 2km/40 mins plus another 10 mins stretching thrown in.

07/05/06
- AF's down with flu but still very determine to stick to plan and drive back to sg petani with GF & her sister in tow. Colleges are all generally having term break and coincidentally his GF is from sg petani so he has them for company all the way up north. and 3 of his mates will be hitching a ride on the trip back tomorrow. Tak kira la macamana pun, at least he wont be driving alone during both rides.
- AI was in one of his rare 'lazy dont wanna go anywhere' mood so it was female bonding time for AH & me lol. we got ourselves identical heartshaped silver pendants (wish it was platinum but it'll have to do for now lol) at alam central and basically just hung out at shah alam's main shopping triad - SACC, Alam Central & PKNS complex. and we lamented on the absence of a family based cinema in shah alam yet again. like AH was saying, teens her age still went about doing whatever it is they were accused of doing in cinemas, only now they venture further out like midvalley, one utama or klcc. so why not have it closer to home where its easier for parents to monitor their children's activities (if they really wanted to that is). couldnt agree with her more on that one.

Keeping Busy - HIS

The ways of keeping busy are many and varied... but for each their own lol

HIS: Work hard, play hard(er) - seems to be the motto for these men :)
There's nothing like a little healthy competition to ease away the boredom and to work off some of that accumulated stress. so the guys have football, snooker, bowling, ping pong etc all lined up.

The 'premier' semi-turkmen football team.... posing maut heheh

And theres also the more dignified & refined social functions such as get togethers, kenduris, tahlils and other activities, both diurnal and nocturnal!!


Oh, i know all you see are men but rest assured there are plenty of pretty ladies out there in ashgabat. tapi of course la golfman wouldnt want to push that fact into my face by sending me such pics kan lol?!!

Keeping Busy - HERS

HERS : Both work & play, keeps the restlessness at bay :)
A new home for the tons of cds scattered all over the boys' room. And who else but yours truly had the patience to set the thing up from scratch lol?



Here are part of the goodies for the SOC scheduled for the end of may. since yours truly is one of the cenderahati ajk, kena la ringan skit tulang temulang nih. anyway its great training utk kala & ketikanya nak bermenantu esok2... ewah lol. btw, that harmless looking glue gun can get pretty hot!!

This restlessness

A week has passed. you wake up, go through the motions (on autopilot mostly), retire for the nite and the same thing repeats itself over and over again. its senseless days like this that eats away at time and before you know it, just like the poor 'ole frog caught in a slow burning pot of water, its too late to leap away.

Aku rimas, jiwa ku resah & gelisah. bukan setakat berkeluh kesah mengenang dan merindui orang jauh (yes i am missing you so much Abe) tapi kegelisahan ini kegelisahan yang lebih mendalam.... makan kenyang tapi kurang nikmat, mandi basah tapi kurang segar, tidur lena tapi kurang nyenyak. outwardly everything seems ok but on a deeper level, serba tak kena. so i think its that time again. in fact i know its that time again since past experience has shown me that this restlessness is but an internal alarm that's triggered whenever i start straying from my most Beloved.

Oh where are my bearings? what have i accomplished and where am i headed?


Sebenarnya hati ini cinta kepada Mu
Sebenarnya diri ini rindu kepada Mu
Tapi aku tidak mengerti mengapa cinta masih tak hadir?
Mengapa rindu belum berbunga?
Ku cuba menghulurkan sebuah hadiah kepada Mu
Tapi mungkin kerana isinya tidak sempurna, tiada seri
Ku cuba menyiramkan nya agar tumbuh dan berbunga
Tetapi mungkin kerana airnya tidak sesegar telaga kauthar

Sesungguhnya walau ku kutip semua permata di dasar lautan
Sesungguhnya walau ku siram dgn air hujan dari tujuh langit Mu
Namun cinta takkan hadir dan rindu takkan berbunga
Jika tidak mengharap rahmat Mu
Dan menagih simpati pada Mu, ya Allah
Tuhan hadiahkan lah kasih Mu kepada ku
Tuhan kurniakan lah rindu ku kepada Mu
Moga ku tahu syukur ku adalah milik Mu

( RAIHAN)


Week (sun 16/04/06 - sun 23/04/06) in a flash:

Sun 16 - While we were out watching GUBRA, Abe was at Archmal with friends, a place known for its natural healing centres a couple of hours drive from Ashgabat. its underground water has volcanic sulphur which is supposed to be good for the body and the centres offer 10 day packages at USD50 for locals with hostels as lodging (tapi foreigners kena charge 5 - 10x more) - apparently me 'ole darlin' just had one dip, nak merasa. on the way back he also stopped by the Turkmenbasynyn Ruby Mescidd (certainly a mouthful lol), asia's largest mosque and the world's 3rd.

The Ruby Mescidd (masjid), Turkmenistan..... whats with the coke bottle i wonder lol?!?

Mon 17 - Tasik morning run, 4km in 35 mins. then it was work as usual.

Tues 18 - 1 hr aerobics & dance right after work.

Wed 19 - Was out on site throughout the day. 1st stop was joint monthly valuation @ galeri di raja klang, then on to the balairongseri @ istana alam shah to check out a couple of quotations. after lunch followed the bosses and other committee members to check out the facilities @ sunway lagoon resort in preparation for a function in mid may. thoroughly pooped out by the end of it.

Thurs 20 - 1 hr aerobics - repetitive exercises similar to cindy crawford's workout (my poor aching muscles lol) & added another 15 mins of slow treadmill jog @ maksak mini gym.

Fri 21 - Brought mak to see her best friend undergoing chemo @ HUKM during the long lunchbreak. alhamdulillah auntie M seems cheery enough.

Sat 22 - Chores galore in the morning. bought stuff for AI's interview on sunday, a confidence booster of sorts. later pounded the treadmill @ KSAS: 30 mins, 4km, speed 8-9, incline 1, 300 kj burned.

Sun 23 - AI's interview @ UiTM and judging from his reaction, he probably didnt do too badly. hoping for the best and thanks to KT for the tips. Again went treadmill pounding @ KSAS, almost a repeat of previous workout: 30 mins, 4km, speed 8-9, incline 1, 300 kj but added brisk walking: 10 mins, 1 km, speed reduced to 6, incline increased to 4, 80 kj burned. PUAS.

Yay yay

Sunday morning came bright and sunny and there i was, staring at the familiar lake, hesitant and anxious. if anyone had the time or inclination to notice (which i doubt they did) i must have painted a rather pitiful picture, dare i try it out and run as i usually do, or just melenggang like a mak nenek going to the pasar ?!?

Of course i ran, albeit slowly, but once i felt the solid pavement at my feet and the cool wind against my face, i forgot all about my fear of terpukang at the track. once you get hooked on the endorphin rush, its hard to let go lol. of course when you get to my age you dont have the luxury of acting like a reckless moron anymore so kena la hati2, taking one 1km lap at a time. glad to report i made it through 4 laps, making it a total of 4km in 40 mins!!!! yay even if i've added 10 mins to my usual time but hey, at least i'm running again lol.

But i was still careful right after the run though. what if my happy happy joy joy mood was broken by a bout of light headedness? or what if my ticker went beserk on me? who was i going to turn to, heck who'd drive me home? tapi alhamdulillah, even by the end of the day all i was feeling was euphoria.... osso a little ache and pain here and there la. after all i'd been going about like a pregnant primadonna for a couple of weeks already hehehe!!

Even took the kids out to tgv for GUBRA. i need a whole post to talk about that i would think.

Till later.

Stoopid bug

Hmmmphhh.

I've been in the grips of this darn flu for sometime now and it looks like i havent managed to totally severe its tenacious grips quite just yet. still feeling slightly naseuous especially after eating and kinda woozy after lying prone for long periods of time - like when i'm in my room reading or staring away at the idiot box.

The headaches and nausea that rocked me was bad enough to even start some sorta speculation among my officemates. they seem to think 'twas highly likely little old me (as in NOT SO little but really really OLD me) might be baking buns in her microwave again!!!!!!!!!!!! heheh, can you imagine such a thing and with AH almost 14?! haiyaa.... sudah tua maaa lol but they seem almost sure that the periodal separation between the hubs and me could be working its 'magic', that the supposedly intense intimacy arising from such union or 're'union or whatever lol, would surely pave the way for an umm... org baru. laaaa weeeh nak tergelak pun ada, seriau pun ada!!!!

Riuh jugak la sbb maklum saja la an old coot like me nak memboyot lagi (mak ai buruk nye rupa lol) and it didnt help that i'd also asked one of the girls to pls get me some assam2 tidbits when they were headed for tesco (actually it was for the mual taste i seem to be constantly having in my mouth lately - classic symptoms eh). BUT, yeah, i guess i just had to burst everyone's bubble (everyone 'cept my own - to be honest, i'm scared shitless) bcoz as of yesterday, my monthly has paid me a visit!!

So like i said, its this stupid stupid bug and i hate it. wanna run but not that adventurous to start my normal routine again. takut terpitam kat track sengsorang takde sape nak kutip. which raises the question of me finding a compatible running buddy, yet again.

Sememangnya..

...... kita hanya merancang. LOL life really IS full of suprises!!!!!!!!!!



Yes, i did get to go to my primary school reunion last sunday *HUGE GRIN* and if you have super duper eyesight, you'd probably be able to make out the miniscule black presence (i have this rather strong attachement to anything dark) of yours truly at the extreme left lol

I'd psyched myself up enough to reluctantly put all thoughts of the much anticipated reunion aside, when come saturday, the hubby tersengeh2 sidled to me and says, "eh, i've pushed my flight to monday night tau, is that all right with you?!!"

Weeehhhh..... was that all right with me??!!! was he kidding??!?! lol of course la it was VERY alright with me. it not only meant another day with him around but it also meant i could go to mentakab!!!! triple yay!!!! the man gladly gave me the consent to 'disappear' on sunday... reason being he also wanted to 'disappear' to his beloved green lol so it was a fair trade.

Since my going was all last minute, i didnt make any convoy plans with the kl gang so my AI jadi la mangsa mama dia as the bodyguard. i wasnt about to travel alone no sirree!!!! its been ages since i was last in mentakab and i definately didnt fancy getting lost alone lol.

Everyone there was surprised to see me to say the very least lol because i'd already put out a rather emotional 'announcement' regarding my absence earlier. but i thank god and providence for clearing the way for me to meet up with so many old and dear friends....... and teachers as well!!!!!!!!! a really priceless opportunity. oh, and i finally met up with dr in the house, the wife of one of my old mates; both bloggers!!! hope to continue our sembang sometime soon :)

My brain's a little sluggish this morning bcoz i'm down with flu (too much excitement kot lol) and also still in 'mild' shock after sending the man off last nite. after a month of berkepit kesana sini, i'm now just half of a couple again *SIGH* will write summore about the fun i had last sunday with all my mates later. just hope this flu doesnt get any worse.

Dilemma

Kita hanya merancang........

How very true. however well planned an occassion, a happening etc, there isnt any guarantees that it'll be free of glitches or wont end in a cloud of smoke. and neither can we be sure we'd be doing what we planned to be doing at a certain point in time. for as sure as the red blood that flows through my veins, theres no such thing as an 'almost perfect' plan ( 'perfect' being completely out of the question).

I really thought i was going to be able to eat my cake n have it as well. lol... yeah right. i had quite a number of important events coming up and somehow they had all managed to be strung out in a neat little line, although the timing was a little on the tight side. there i was, already picturing myself the 'party animal' - socialising, interacting, throwing away my introvert tendencies and generally keeping busy. there was my semsas agm & batch '78 gathering in kuantan the 1st week of march, my hubby's home stint the 2nd week of march, brainstorming sessions for my absm '73 reunion in between, the hubby's departure 3rd week of march, last minute preparations for the reunion and the 'grand' occasion itself on the 2nd april in mentakab.

Turns out, my hubby managed the impossible and came back a week early (to my absolute delight sbb tak jumpa dah banyak bulan wooohh lol). but that meant i had to forgo the kuantan trip with my kids and whatever plans we had of frolicking on the beach lol. a twinge of regret perhaps but still no contest - the man is numero uno. as for the absm reunion, i had to skip a couple of pre-reunion meets bcoz the man was home but always with the thought of attending the said occasion in the end. but i didnt account for the man's ability to pull incredible feats...... he'd managed to extend his original 10 day stay until - yeah, you guessed it lol - sunday, the 2nd of april!!!!!!

Well looks like i'll be giving the reunion a skip. the man is still numero uno and i guess i just wasnt meant to be a party animal lol :)

p.s. its my AF's 21 st birthday today - i'm always wishing u all the good things dunia akhirat nak.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY darling :)


Workout Log
Aerobics - just 15 minutes and i was heading for the gym - worst instructor so far :(
Treadmill - 30 mins, 4km, 8-9 km/hr, 1-2 incline, 400 kj

Extended stay

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... i've been granted a respite. the man has extended his 'stay' for another couple of days. for him it not only means more time with family & friends but also more time on the green. for me, its more hours to send my heart aflutter and mind to the gutter heheh

Usual chores and some heavy duty cooking. got me hungry mouths to feed :)


Workout Log
1 full lap, 1 mini lap plus= 5 km= 35 mins

I wasnt supposed to be doing anything to compromise my shoulder and heck, running is mainly about legs after all..... so i still ran but like a makcik cacat!!! i held my right arm stiff & lifeless and almost glued to my side. no mean feat i tell ya lol

Shoulder pain

Pounding the pavements the way i do (and factoring in my age) should make me vulnerable to knee or lower body problems but its my right shoulder that's been bugging me since last september. it started with a couple of uncomfortable twitches & twinges (which i had thought would eventually disappear) and has gradually worked itself up to a point i cant comfortably carry the usual 4-5 kilos that i lug around at the end of a wet market session anymore. pathetic giler siot considering i'm used to handling 10 kg rice packs when its time for the monthly groceries.

It reached the stage where i just had to do something about it and thats how i got to be at SJMC early this morning. the GP that i saw referred me to a neurologist but upon examination, the guy passed me over to another specialist. rupa nyer silap orang. "we're here for the 'wiring' " he said, "but you clearly need to see the 'contractor' " . yeah, whatever. being a layman i cant really tell the difference between the two so i guess i'm blaming the GP; she should have known better. so off i went to see the recommended rheumatologist instead. but i can tell you, i wasnt actually feeling too hot about that either because i do have a strong family history of rheumatism/arthritis on my maternal side and i've had this sneaking suspicion my pains were due to that. gawd, spare me... i'm neither ready nor prepared to have joints pains so soon!!! but from my findings (thanks to the internet we can all suddenly turn 'pros' much to dismay of the real, genuine experts) its either that or cold shoulder or tendonitis or impingement something or other (belajar tak khatam ni mmg bahaya lol).

Anyway, turns out i had probably sprained one of the four tendons there at my shoulder joint and yeah it was what they called tendonitis or to be more specific, rotator cuff tendonitis (whatever lol) . so the doc gave me an antiflammatory jap with steroids and specific instructions to rest the particular arm for a whole week (sigh.. no running or aerobics). i am to slowly ease into my normal activities by the 2nd week and all should be well by the 3rd to 4th week. if the pain returns then it could be a whole new ball game - compressed or trapped tendons or something similar and worse case scenario would be surgery. yukky yuks.... but we'll deal with it when we get there. hopefully it wont come to that (dua dua dua).

But short term gain from the hospy visit - the good doctor issued an mc for me to rest and ta daaaaaa.... here i am reporting live form the comfort of home sweet home. for now lets forget all about that pile of reports and documents waiting at the office shall we lol !!!!


TGIF but alas... sunday's just round the corner.


Last Workout Log (for the time being)
21/03/06
-run, 3km plus @ tasik shah alam= 30 mins (morning).
-aerobics session: 1 hr plus with malik @ SUK's main lobby (after work).

23/03/06
-aerobics session: 35 mins @ SUK's main lobby lobby (after work).
- treadmill: 25 mins, 3km, speed 8 (slow pace) & 6.5 (brisk walk), incline 1 - 3, calories 300kj (after aerobics)

Countdown

I have till sunday to enjoy the company of my other half, the half that completes me. how time does fly.. feels like only yesterday that i was picking him up at klia. tak sempat pejam celik dah pun nak masuk 3 minggu. i miss him already.

After a late breakfast (when i left for work he was snuggling with the kids and it seems that they all tertidoq balik lol - abah, AH & AI) abe went to pick up his 3 month supply of meds from anis clinic which came up to 1 big plasticbag full - equivalent to a short stint at tesco or giant. kenyang la makan ubat nampaknye :) we have to somehow stow the meds carefully away because the authorities at the terminal of his destination, tak makan saman dan akan rampas jer apa2 jenis ubat2an walaupun bersurat dan bersebab. its mainly a communication problem because the ruskies there refuse to use any other language but their own. dalam pada tu ada juga sikap bodoh sombong sebab kalau tidak takkan berlaku kes buang susu tin utk babies. since when has infant formulas ever been questionable?! touchy giler.

Walaupun begitu, pihak berkuasa disana tidak pula terlalu teliti kerana kalau disorok dengan baik, ikan pekasam pun boleh lepas lol. asalkan pek elok2 dan bertawakal macam2 yang dah terlepas masuk. success rate mengikut kreativiti masing-masing. the man has indicated an interest in sambal kacang & bilis goreng plus kepingan kurau masak cili. for him no serunding merundings sebab dah muak growing up in the east coast and he's also grown sick of brahims. we'll see what we can do.

Yesterday AI & me took time off lunch to drop by putrajaya... parcel E to be exact. destination: block E9, borang UPU drop off point!!! yeah, instead of depending on any of the courier services we deemed it more reliable & satisfying to send the forms off ourselves lol. lucky thing for us even if it was our 1st time thereabouts everything was smooth sailing. we parked by the kerb (everyone else seem to be doing the same thing) meandered over to where there were people and immediately found the relevant counters. there were 2 counters just for dropping off the UPU forms and 2 counters for 'pertanyaan & semakan'. since we were already there we had them check the contents before finally submitting and signing the submission registrar. haaaa puas hati and the staff on duty were extremely helpful & friendly. great work people!!!! its not easy handling parents equally harrassed/blur/demanding lol. wonder why tak ramai orang around klang valley yang drop off sendiri.... i'm sure ada yang tak sure about the requirements especially the first timers. to have people willing and in the position to explain & advice is truly a godsend. now whats left is just to send out the other forms to the relevant IPTAs since my son picked courses that include interviews.

Semoga anak ma berjaya :)

F1 fever

I've always liked the adrenalin rush of fast driving tapi bila dah berumur ni ada gak 'cuak' skit2 because my reaction time whether i like it or not has been compromised by the piling years. still, to spend time out there watching the racers go thru their motion in the glaring sun isnt really my cup of tea either... its the idiot box for me (die hard i am definitely not lol).

But i did go for the Petronas M'sian Grand Prix Spring Gala though and was entertained to the max not only by lionel ritchie (i'm not really a fan but the music was superb), but by the antics of the glam & beautiful. whoa.... up close and personal with the 'beautiful people' sekali sekala seronok gak and beats birdwatching anytime lol. macam2 ada. i never really considered kl as tinsel town but i've since changed my mind.

Lionel's a bit montel but whadaya expect i guess, since time spares no one in the end. fortunately the guy still sounds the same lol and i 'specially liked the songs from his commodore years. brick house was a riot and he got the bunch of us on our feet stomping away lol and of course ramai yang cair when he crooned truly, hello and still. siap serenade kat the sweet but most obviously pregnant mastiza (was that her name?) on stage and muah muah summore. hmmm, city folks aye?!! unfortunately no pics were allowed and the few stolen snaphots with the hp showed just coloured lights lol

Later there was the dinner show with whats her name... (these days the more i rack my brains the more elusive the thought) liza hanim was a little grating on the nerves. it would have been ok if it was a concert of sorts but somehow menjerit2 n dinner does not go together. kena soothing gitu baru boleh enjoy the food and the dinner conversation. apa2pun yours truly couldnt be any happier having the man all to herself :)


*sigh* its so good to be a couple again but the countdown will be starting very soon. and when i'm all by my lonely self... thats when my running log will start to recommence lol

Jdorama

Sejak ketiadaan suami i've become a Jdorama junkie. i started out riding the waves of anime with the kids (really interesting stuff that AF downloads from the net) but now me & AH have branched out and chosen a path the guyz are reluctant to follow (sebab in their opinion its just a little too poyo lol) - the path of japanese & korean dramas :)

Now the ladies in this family (excluding mak of course; she still prefers ahmad jais lol) have fallen hook line & sinker for the nippon's Double T - Takeshi & Takashi (reminds me of Johnson & Johnson la pulak lol). weh, talk about eye candy!!!!! not that i'm ever giving up sir anthony hopkins whom i absolutely adore (and certainly more suitable fare for my age group) but those two!!!!! *SIGH* i can still just ogle now cant i lol!?!! It all started with GTO & Takashi Sorimachi (great teacher onizuka - the mini-series not anime) and God Pls Give Me More Time & Takeshi Kaneshiro. also included in this smargosboard of drama & movies both japanese & korean are Golden Bowl, Overtime, Turn Left Turn Right, the drama version of Socrates in Love, Someone Teach Me English, My Little Bride and a couple of others. and why do we actually prefer the mini-series over the better produced movies? because even if it does tend to drag along a little bit, it sure lasts that much longer lol

And even with the man home, we still make time for our little drama sessions.... dah addicted nak wat camane, right sya? ;)

Cheers peeps !!!

Kemaruk

The poor poor man!!! missing all his fav food, somebody's surely making up for all the lost time lol. its makan makan makan. before long he's gonna put back all of the 6 kg he'd shed!!!!!!! tapi sanggup ke nak tegur seeing that he's enjoying himself so much??!! hmmmm.... biorkan jer :) so long as he's not jeorpadizing his sugar & cholestrol levels i guess.

And theres also the thing about his golfing - another kemaruk area there lol. since he got back he's already been in a 6-flight mini tournament, two late afternoon sessions & one nite game.... and the guy's only been back 5 days lol!!!! his golf buddies have already lined up games and tournies for him from now till the very day of his flight out. heh... and i know well enough not to stand between a man and his golf buddies!!!! perang dingin nanti lol and i certainly dont want anything to do with this dingin dingin stuff. lets keep it hot and smokin' shall we?!!

The only setback in all of this is i'm keeping him company eating away w/out a care in the world. AND i'm also NOT running as much as i'm used to!!!!! weh... this is not good.... not good at all!!!! kena laa pura2 makan jer macam ni (yeah right !!!! lol)


Workout Log
Aerobics & dance - 1 hour session.
i love it when malik's on the podium... he's a choreographer/instructor so his sessions have a lot of dance elements that keeps it mighty interesting while vigorous enough to be satisfying.
Treadmill - 20 mins, just to cap it off.
Distance 2.5 km, Speed 7 - 8, Incline level 1, Calories burned 170 kj.

No running

I havent been running for a couple of days now but theres still been endorphins galore heheh.

And of course its much more fun when theres 2.


For my main man, here's.......


La Camisa Negra (the black shirt)
by Juanes

Tengo la camisa negra
hoy mi amor esta de luto
Hoy tengo en el alma una pena
y es por culpa de tu embrujo

Hoy sé que tú ya no me quieres
y eso es lo que más me hiere
Que tengo la camisa negra
y una pena que me duele

Mal parece que solo me quedé
y fue pura todita tu mentira
Que maldita mala suerte la mía
que aquel día te encontré

Por beber del veneno malevo de tu amor
yo quedé moribundo y lleno de dolor
Respiré de ese humo amargo de tu adiós
y desde que tú te fuiste yo solo tengo

Tengo la camisa negra
porque negra tengo el alma
Yo por ti perdí la calma
y casi pierdo hasta mi cama

Cama cama come on baby
te digo con disimulo
Que tengo la camisa negra
y debajo tengo el difunto

Pa enterrartelo cuando quieras mamita
Asi como lo oye hija

Tengo la camisa negra
ya tu amor no me interesa
Lo que ayer me supo a gloria
hoy me sabe a pura...

Miércoles por la tarde y tú que no llegas
ni siquiera muestras señas
Y yo con la camisa negra
y tus maletas en la puerta

Mal parece que solo me quedé
y fue pura todita tu mentira
Que maldita mala suerte la mía
que aquel día te encontré

Por beber del veneno malevo de tu amor
yo quedé moribundo y lleno de dolor
Respiré de ese humo amargo de tu adiós
y desde que tú te fuiste yo solo tengo...

Tengo la camisa negra
porque negra tengo el alma
Yo por ti perdí la calma
y casi pierdo hasta mi cama

Cama cama come on baby
te digo con disimulo
Que tengo la camisa negra
y debajo tengo el difunto

Tengo la camisa negra
porque negra tengo el alma
Yo por ti perdí la calma
y casi pierdo hasta mi cama

Cama cama come on baby
te digo con disimulo
Que tengo la camisa negra
y debajo tengo el difunto

Heheh.... juanes is actually scorning at a lost love but the beat's extremely catchy & alive - exactly how i feel when i'm with you :)

My dahleeng's coming home

OOoohhh i'm so so excited. i just love it when the hubby pulls a stunt like this lol

Kata balik next week but what does he do? arranges to arrive in KLIA saturday morning. yup, saturday as in tomorrow!!!!!!! gawd i'm so excited i've turned hyper lol sure malam nanti tak tidoq punyer.... looks like i'll be doing reruns till morning heheh.

I actually had lots planned this weekend. just so happen there were events that overlapped so i was in the position to choose whatever i felt like doing. i could either attend my secondary school AGM back in kuantan with my '78 batch gathering thrown in for good measure OR have a leisure drive down to mentakab, spend the nite and attend a meeting for that primary school reunion scheduled in april.

Hah, but what can i say?!!! the man's coming home *HUGE GRIN*

Surprises all around

Mak's been feeling really down since she heard about her best friend's relapse. aunty M has cancer and been in remision for 4-5 years now but mak said she's been complaining a lot about her health lately and that surely isnt good. 2 days ago we heard she'd been warded in HUKM for serious water retention (or something... me never too sure about these things) and her belly's swollen fit to rival a 7 month pregnant lady.

I know everytime mak hears about her friends coming down with something or other, she gets pretty damn worried. theres nothing that reminds us more of our own mortality then news concerning illness or death. growing old is lonely business... even surrounded by loved ones you know when you leave this earth you leave alone.

Just to ease her mind a bit i took some time off from work to visit aunty M at HUKM. lucky for us we managed to arrive there in record time because surprisingly there wasnt much traffic at the MRRI... rezeki orang tua kot. mak insists that we stick to the alotted visiting hours so i was a little stressed out in case the traffic decided not to cooperate as usual but the worry was needless, thank god. we got in and out like a breeze.

Aunty M's cheery mood lifted mak's own somewhat. but when we got back home she just found herself another thing to worry her pretty little grey head about - the now randy & oft missing kitties!!! i'm sure its mating season coz the furry ones are almost never home and this causes mak's most fertile imagination to kick in... chewie kena kidnap lah, nico kena langgar lah, the kitties are dying of hunger lah etc etc. sheeesh... they're probly having the time of their life instead lol.

Me & AH, we ended up having dinner at tesco's food court, just the two of us. see, it was also AI's day out with his gang - they were spending the day at berjaya time square, probably trying to scare themselves silly with the roller coaster but not succeeding because its too tame a ride for that. anyway, i just couldnt shake the idea of breaking fast with a bowl of cool, sweet, colourful ABC and since mak didnt want to give up her vigil of the missing kitties no matter what we said, that left just the two of us. and boy, it was the best ABC & sizzling yee mee i've had in a long while (osso sbb lapar gilerz i suppose lol).

After solat at the quite roomy prayer room provided by tesco, we went browsing for interesting japanese drama or anime (shucks... forget about the interesting part lol so long as the hero had the looks to weaken our knees). we osso got mak her fav shortbread/butter cookies in the hope of bringing a smile to her 'worried' face. somehow, we timed it in such a way that we were still out when it was time to pick AI up at the commuter station. heh, he had his fun & so did we, so i guess all in all it was a damn good day.


Workout Log
Aerobics - 15 mins - after which i gave up coz the instructor of the day sucked big time!
Treadmill - time 20 mins, distance 2.6km, speed 8-9, calories 175 kj - baru puaass.


**Caspian Newsflash**

WOOOO HOOOOOO..... The hubs is coming home earlier than expected. ETA KLIA saturday morning :)

Force majeure?

Is it wednesday already? well, whadaya know.

Life just takes over sometimes and before you know it, it feels like you've 'lost' certain days. last week was sort of a blur. after meeting up with my semsas mates, i had to settle a couple of things concerning AF & AH... and of course there was also 'the flood'.

AH had to attend a prefects motivational weekend in sg congkak so we were quite busy getting her stuff together. you know usual things like xtra track bottoms, shoes, sleeping bag what have yous. i then dropped her off at her school around 6.30 am saturday... the instructions were quite specific (gelap gelemat lagi) but it was after 7.25am when they actually left the school compound. well, the usual something or other... this time one out of the 3 buses was late. and for my own peace of mind, of course i waited until i saw the last of her even if my butt was turning into stone perched on the wee curb lol. then came hal ehwal si AF pulak. as usual he needed help getting his stuff together... being home 1 whole week gave him ample time to be losing things like keys, books, cds, spare batteries, osso my thumb drive. he's ETD was 9.30 am same morning as AH but at least i just had to drop him of at the triton bus terminal, seksyen 16, shah alam, instead of the customary jln duta.

After that there was just AI & me... along with mak, chewie and nico of course, but apart from the usual morning flurry (like gardening & chores for mak n ngejor the neighbourhood feline for nico & chewie) they hardly do anything but snooze all day anyway lol. we had big plans my manja boy and me - nak lepak kat suria klcc la... midvalley laa... nak nenguk long khon laa (my idea but AI ngelat, penakutz heheh), nak makan kat victoria station la (AIs idea but my turn to ngelat - as a mom, tak boleh telan knowing the rest yang takde would osso enjoy bangat).

In the end we spent the remainder of that saturday at shah alam mall leaving bigger things for sunday. who would have guessed that shah alam would be ravaged by that super duper ribut with the subsequent floods the following morning?!!? i had already spent a sleepness nite worrying over AH, all alone (w/out me that is) out there in some dark godforsaken corner in sg congkak, and of cause everything intensified once that storm hit around 3 am. and it just poured and poured and poured w/out letting up a single bit till about 5.30 am. i still didnt know about the flooding in TTDIJaya, the nearby stadium area nor the highway till after my morning run (god it was extremely cool and envirogating) and was just about to start my marketing when i received that phone call from a friend. the water at TTDIJaya had apparently reached hip level leaving them no choice but to retreat to the 1st floor. all their cars were also flooded and needless to say there wasnt even time to rescue the electrical goods, furniture, etc either.

My niece has 4 small kids and didnt have much in the way of food (stoves and gas cylinders were all afloating by that time) except maggi , biscuits and bread. sad thing was, friends and family didnt have any access because the flooding had caused massive jams all around. it was pass 5 pm before any help could be extended and even then it was done on foot... no vehicles would dare venture into the sludge & mud as yet. all in all, the places where the flood hit was like a warzone. even today some of the residents are still cleaning up... my colleague who lives there is still on leave.

Is this really force majeure or is there someone, anyone to blame for this ?!! it certainly isnt the first time.

p.s. AI my darling... lain kali k :)


Workout Log
Sunday 26/02/06
- 1 lap plus= 4km= 30 mins

Tuesday 28/02/06
- Aerobics session = 60 mins
- Treadmill right after = 20 mins, dist 2.8km, speed 9, calories 180 kj.

Aerobics after work

I do hope its not going to be another one of those 'now you see it, now you dont' cases. the state govt has come up with quite a good number of programmes for the civil servant but most times they just die an unnatural death.

Anything to do with promoting good health and increasing one's fitness level should be welcomed and encouraged but sadly, today's only the 2nd day of the programme (the 1st was on tuesday) and the turn out still leaves a lot to be desired. well helloooo... its convenient (right slap bang in the middle of the workplace) and its free !! *sigh* i guess one waits until one sees signs of sickness before wanting to do something about it.

Anyway, even if it wasnt as vigorous as pounding out the usual 3km i did manage to sweat it out quite a bit. except that the choice of music could have been better though.

Well it was a mad mad rush after that. see, i had a teh tarik session lined up at 8 pm with my semsas mates but i had earlier promised AF, who was also fasting along with me, domino's pizza for berbuka. what was that new pizza again... mmm, beefy nacho crunch or something?! neeways, first i had AH to pick up from school and turns up her good friend amy wanted a ride home so before i could settle the pizza thing, i had to drop off amy first. pegi balik pegi balik, we were still at domino's when the azan sounded so there i was dashing about like a madwoman (hmmm... already a crazy ole coot as it is lol).

Just as i completed my solat it started pouring pulak.... no not the usual cats & dogs variety mind you but the tigers & elephants kind lol all in all i reached the teh tarik rendezvous point almost an hour late... and there wasnt even a hint of rain there !!!! ahh but it was all worth it bcoz meeting up with old friends just feels sooooooooo good doesnt it :)


** Workout Log**

Aerobics session - 45 t0 60 mins - incldg warming up & cooling down

To go or not to go

Hmmmm i'm giving the 1st ever mass aerobic session of the state govt a skip. better let them iron out all the 'virgin' glitches so as not to be disappointed and waste time as well. so, its the gym for me then.


** Pounding Log**

Time: 35 mins
Distance: 4.7km
Speed: average 9 km/hr
Incline: 1-2
Calories burned: 300 kj

Hanging out

I've been a little too self-absorbed lately and enough is enough.... time to move on bcoz the clock's ticking and for people heading for the 'penghujung jalan' like me, time's precious and not to be wasted.

AF's home for a week and mighty happy for the opportunity to be in the company of his GF. AI's actually going wanko with so much free time on his hands. He turns all hyper when i'm home and i kinda wondered what was going on. we had a good laugh when he told me... "La ma tak tau ke?!? your coming home is the 'highlight' of my day la maa!!!" heheheh.... tu laaaaaa, ma suruh keje, malasssssssssssss. kan dah sangap tahap maut :) now AH.... she seems to keep herself pretty occcupied bullying her bros and getting bullied right back so theres no question of wasting any time there i dont think lol.

Spent the whole sunday afternoon out in sunway piramid watching the kids falling all over themselves at the ice rink. hehehe.... now that was fun.... lebih banyak slipping & sliding then skating but i dont think i'd have done any better. there was quite a crowd there and the heavy traffic melted much of the ice causing a lot of water to be present. macam banjir pulak and instead of getting cold from the ice you get cold from getting all wet. sheeesh.. probably inline skating would be better, or at least drier lol. aie was happy no matter what the condition bcoz his gf came with us, AH was also happy bcoz she wasnt the only girl to be picked on by her bros, i was happy to have the whole mall at my disposal if i so chose to explore (i read my book instead lol) but poor poor AI was the only one a little miserable with his lot - there he was out on the skating rink and he just couldnt get the hang of it. relek ah kiddo... probably will learn faster if you fall around a bit :)

Been feeling fat & extremely bloated the whole week. just hate the feeling... almost didnt run at all which certainly didnt help in making me feel any better.


**Running Update**

thurs 16/02/06 - 3 mini laps= 3km= 20 mins

sat 18/02/06 - 1 lap plus= 3.8km plus= 30 mins

Weekly tally= 6.8km [weh... menyedihkan!!]


**Caspian Newsflash**

My 'jenguk dapur pun tidak' cek abe is now a cook - with a couple of pretty nifty dishes under his belt.... woo hooooo!!!! osso for lack of opportunity to play golf, has now mastered pool as well. way to go yang :)

Salvaged from the rubble

I tell my kids if you start off looking for good, insyallah you'll find it even in a pile of dung.... i mean it is after all a good choice of baja kan heheh!!!

So whatever had happened to me in the past, i have most certainly been blessed. if nothing else, i have become more open-minded & less judgemental of fellow humans. i find myself accepting people as they are because we are all in our own ways trying our best to manage... and we are all in our own ways trying to make sense of it all. masing2 dengan cara masing2. i try my best not to lose sight of the 'big picture' and i try my best to avoid nit-picking... tak kemane jadi nye nanti bcoz after all, apart from the Creator, nothing is perfect. buat yang terbaik and let go... tawakal. jangan la nak jadi control freak because after all banyak mana sangat la things in life that is actually within our control pun kan?!!

And here's a couple of things that i find myself reminding the kids often:

1. Kalau tak makan cili jgn gatal2 nak rasa pedas.
Carrying guilt around is a heavy burden especially when its unnecessary. i know coz i've been doing it for so many years and being constantly defensive is no fun either. so i tell my kids... jangan nak ngada2 merajuk la, defensive la kalau theres no cause for it. for example, when a parent has more than 1 kid, or when a teacher addresses a whole classroom full of students... dia akan marah2 and tegur secara pukal whatever wrongdoings or misdeeds yg dah berlaku. sooo memang la kita kena ambik berat segala teguran & nasihat tapi jangan la terasa pulak kalau bukan kita yang buat.... nak react buat apa kan after all we didnt do nothin' so biar yang bersalah tu jer la berperasaan. kita tak payah susah2 nak feeling tak menentu, buang masa jer and all that negative vibes akan makan dalam if you let it. again, kalau tak buat jangan nak terasa, just ambik perhatian jer.

2. Dont go out there expecting dogs to meow and cats to bark.
Of course dogs will bark and cats will meow... to expect otherwise would be setting yourself up for disappointment. unless god decides to grant you a miracle or... anjing tu gi sekolah meow pulakz heheh. and if such a thing were to happen then consider it a bonus. otherwise, jangan expect unrealistic things from people. say, kalau baru main2 cinta kat sekolah and the guy acts like a bozo jgn la pulak act surprise, were you really expecting commitment & maturity from a guy that age (sheesh)?!? or if you're dealing with your MIL and you kutuk2 her son takde kesian punye, you think she's going to take that lying down?! puhleeze la... have some basic sense of what/who we're dealing with.

3. You've really gotta make your own sunshine.
Life will dish out all sorts of things good & bad but its not about what happens to you, but how you react to it. For that, one has to be strong and to be strong one has to know oneself. in this teeming mass of humanity, its so easy to lose our sense of self... who we are and what we are. so like our beloved prophet recommends, constantly muhasabah diri, that way we are always in touch with ourselves. we'll come to realise our own strengths and weaknesses, be able to work our way around it and eventually capitalise on whats best. that way no matter what happens, we'll find the strength to carry on. and dont go blaming others if we're not happy, that decision is ours to make. kalau GF moody jangan la pulak kita yang lelebih lol.... get a grip ;)

4. Stand firm but hiasi diri dengan ehsan.
Whether we like it or not, we do live a life of interdependence. the decisions we make, the actions we take somehow affect others be it in small ways or big. so nak tak nak we're part of a big whole and we have to respect that. so berhati2 melalui liku2 kehidupan. jangan terlalu keras sampai menganiaya org lain tapi jgn pulak terlalu lembek sampai di pijak2. its best to remain firm in your convictions but always do it with ehsan. theres so many ways to deal with a situation. for example, if someone's done something wrong and needs reprimanding, just say what you have to and leave it at that... no need la to dredge up the poor guys dirty linen and air it in public. or when you're rejecting somebody, you can say no and be a bitch or you can say no and still let the guy down with pride intact. dont go around dropping people's water face maaaaa..... coz what goes round does come around. ehsan - there can never be enough of it.

5. Have faith, always sangka baik and jangan mudah prasangka.
Believe in a merciful and benevolent god, set your default at seeing the good in things and dont harbour a suspicious nature. it'll be easier on you in the long run. i'm not saying be a push-over, weh berwaspada tetap berwaspada tapi apa salahnye bersangka baik. but its so easy to mistake malu for sombong, selamba for uncaring etc etc. give people the benefit of doubt and while you're at it, cut some slack will ya... leave some room for mistakes, especially by loved ones because it is after all an integral part of learning. osso, berprasangka ni tak ada faedah nyer. suspicious people are never at peace and more often than not, become either a ketankerous sourpuss that everybody avoids or a pathetic neurotic who's fearful of his own shadow. insyallah, if its goodness that you seek its goodness that you'll find.

Yup kiddos, its the same old same old.... but you'll be mighty surprised to find that it's gonna stay relevant for quite awhile lol!!!


** Updated Log**

Thurs 09/02/06 - 3 mini laps= 3 km= 18 mins

Sat 11/02/06 - 1 complete lap= 3.8 km= 30 mins

Sun 12/02/06 - 4 mini laps= 4 km= 30 mins

Weekly tally= 16.8 km

A can of worms

I'm filled with a certain disquiet lately.... a restlessness & unease of heart and soul.

Recent events have brought me face to face with a past that have long been buried; as deep as the bowels of the earth but now i'm beginning to wonder if it might not have been deep enough.

My childhood was never a normal one by any standards. i was raised by parents both too young and too wrapped up within themselves & each other to ever consider the lonely plight, let alone the needs, of an only child.

Both needy, both egoistic, both stuck in a love/hate relationship that didnt make any sense whatsoever to a young child. and even the constant presence of my grandma, hovering in the background didnt do much to lessen the confusion. there were the endless scenes and tantrums thrown by my mother, the fights and quarrels that frequently ended with father grovelling at her feet, the constant manipulations, the occasional deceit and no matter what anyone did, that prevading sense of dissatisfaction and displeasure was always there.

I have major memory lapses of those years i'd spent growing up in Kem Bt 5... and they were actually welcomed gaps because that period of time had the greatest impact on me and left me saddled with serious issues. at 8, you are at your most vulnerable and most impressionable. of course you will eventuallty find the strength to rise beyond all the blows that is dealt out to you but, in the meantime, you just try to hang on the best way you know how.

For me it was blocking out. for me it was staying just out of conflict's reach. for me it was to cater to everyone's need but my own. for me it was to be pleasantly obedient. and for me it was always, always, to absorb everybody's gulit and accept the fault as mine whatever it may be. my mother wanted out but she had to stay because of me; my father loved my mother more than life itself but dealing with her rejection day in day out must have eaten at him; and grandma completed the triangle by constantly switching sides and adding fuel to the fire.... and in the madhouse that was my home, where everyone was acting so crazily, it was left to me to look out for everyone.

So i never really had the chance to be young or feel young since i felt totally responsible for everyone and everything. yes because of me, everyone was stuck in that vicious cycle with no way out until it was too late and the damage to everyone was already too great to be salvaged. because of my faith, i had to be thankful for my existence but that didnt stop me from feeling completely unworthy and guilty, always guilty. didnt help at all that i understood what everyone was going through: my mother didnt know any better because she was just 16 when she got hitched, my father loved her too much to be effective as a leader and husband, and grandma's crime was to have idolised mother till she felt she could do no wrong. i was the outsider, the loner and life was filled with uncertainty.

With nowhere to lay the blame and conditioned to place others before self, i was in my own way living a life of quiet desperation. nobody really realised that below the placid waters was a turbulence that was sometimes totally out of my control. for a long while i had to deal with extremely low self-esteem culminating in self sabotage & bullimic tendencies. but great is the Almighty for i am mostly at peace with myself now.

Out of the blue, life has presented me with this opportunity to put my past to rest, to really help me let go perhaps? friends from that period of my life have somehow returned and are now suddenly a big part of my life. i smile when i hear them reminiscing about the good old days because my own recollection are mostly blurry; the sweet is always laced with the pain. when most of them were jumping about in blissfull ignorance i was already manuervering my way around half-crazed adults trying my best to hang on to my sanity. nothing was to be taken for granted; one minute they were drowning me with love, the next, burying me in censure.

There are plans for a big reunion back in my old primary school and of course i look forward to meeting up with everyone but i'm also fearful that the worms would devour me. reliving every bend and turn of my old life and being back there where it all happened might just unlock every damn memory, both good & bad. i dunno... i do hope i have really become strong enough.

Cruising

**Running Log**

3 mini laps= 3km= 20 mins

Pounding away

Brain's too scrambled to write anything useful.

**Running Log**

3 mini laps= 3km= 20 mins..... just taking it easy in the mornings.

Weekly tally= 15.8 km

Just existing

**Running Log**

3 mini laps= 3km= 20 mins

Paperwork oh paperwork

After the long break....... timbunan upon timbunan. need i say more?!!

Lepakz 3

Was feeling a little restless so i went out on my own (kiddos sibuk main puter games) just to check out the latest offerings at the nearby malls. i did the shah alam triangle i.e. pkns complex, alam central & sacc (sacc is still the better place to just meander about aimlessly) and ended up with 4 blouses (one a little on the itsy bitsy side but what the heck), a silver bracelet (the last one putus on me yet again, lasak person that i am), some make-up basics to replenish my poor poor excuse of a beauty bag, a plasticbagful of rotiboys and my head full of gift ideas for old friends.

Well shopping aint so bad after all when you're not telling yourself "you must get something"!!!!

**Running Log**

1 lap= 3.8km= 25 mins