Junkie of sorts

Well whatdaya know..... looks like i'm a junkie now lol !!!!!!

Heh. sah lah dah :)

I've been feeling crappier than crap lately. sakit kepala, nauseous, moody semacam, tak senang duduk, tak puas bernafas, jittery giler. macam withdrawal symptoms plak (AH thinks i'm pregnant) lol but i've been getting my daily dose of caffeine, i dont smoke so it's nothing to do with nicotene, i dont drink so its not the alcohol. tak main laa benda2 berat yg lain.

?????

Then it hit me. the only variant in my usual routine is the break from running. daripada almost daily runs to just 2-3 x a week semenjak i had that bad bout of flu. so must be my body clamouring for endorphins, endorphins and more endorphins. i guess the ones released when the hubs & me go romping tak cukup kot lol.

So i decided to get my fix early today. Nekad, no matter what, i was going for my morning run. packed my office attire, fixed everyone the simplest of breakfast (oats/muesli/cereal), dropped off kid no. 2 at school before he could even say 'mama' and made a beeline for the tasik (i was already in my running gear with a jubah over it in case i ran into a glitch). i had to get the lap done in time to have my punchcard still registering black (or is it blue?!!).

Like i've mentioned several times before, nothing beats running in the morning ( 'cept probably a good lay but thats another story laa lol). the cool air, the warm (not hot) morning sun, the clear mind... all prerequisite to a good run and that oh so sublime endorphin rush !!!!

True enough i've been high the whole day. i know its only 5 pm but i'm still going strong. tak pening2, no nausea and everything's rosy *huge grin* even that mountain of files & reports needing my attention has failed to intimidate me.

Life is gooooooood.

** Running Log **

1 lap= about 4 km= 28 mins. sheesh, i really need to confirm the distance i'm dealing with.

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When i was freshening up in the ladies room (after a change of clothes), the bright lighting and big mirrors gave me ample opportunity to scrutinize myself.

Shit.

Usually its just slap on the moisturisers, loose powder, kohl, a dash of lipstick and i'm done. terkejar sana terkejar sini tak ambik masa to really look. Uughh, is that me?? adeh, jgn nak kata org, klu terserempak tgh malam i myself would be the first to run lol. i was very unfortunate to have suffered bad acne when i was growing up and degil plak tu, tak nak dengar nasihat. favourite pastime... keroteh jerawat and with a vengeance. it got so bad i had to see a skin specialist. several in fact. but it was aready too late and i bear the scars of my youth. i'm sooooo glad that none of the kids have acne as bad as mine. just your regular teenage zits thank god. it does nothing for your self-esteem.

Now on top of all that i'm also losing tone (where the hell did my jaw line go?!!). isnt it ironic? one can naturally tone up a body regardless of age (by exercising, weights, stretching) but have to resort to drastic measures when it comes to the face. nak buat face lift ongkosnya enggak ada sih (plus ngeri giler), botox same thing (including unresolved halal/haram issues), nak makan imedeen etc dah kes teruk lol so that leaves me with no other alternative but that of aging gracefully.

Weh... why do i feel its such a conciliatory statement. macam nak ambik hati je lol... boleh ke age gracefully ni ek? people say its more about how you are inside. yes i agree, hati mesti baik and when you're happy, contented, at peace with yourself and life, you'll have that glow. tapi kerepot tetap kerepot laa heheh :) just hope the important people in my life (especially the hubby) tak kisah. after all he's sagging and putting on lines too lol

Another thing. airconditioning is actually tough on the skin. tengok aje laa the results if you leave fresh bread lying about the room (sometimes i leave half eaten sandwiches or roti kaya after sahur lol). by morning jadi crispy toast... kering kontang!! imagine its effect on the skin, patut laa makin lama makin jadi macam shriveled prune !!! tak cukup kat rumah sambung kat ofis (skarang ni plak cuaca tersangat laa panas, klu tak pasang aircond meruap satu badan). hai, susah bila tau sebab musabab tapi tak boleh nak buat apa.

For now terpaksa pilih the lesser of 2 evils. nampak gayanya better prune face then panas naik ke kepala. or cari air-cond jenis baru yang supposedly tak mengeringkan tu. hmmmm.

Yup its not easy to grow old gracefully, not in a society or era where appearances does play an important part, even when platitudes are offered to the contrary. beautiful inside means beautiful outside. for those of us not so beautiful people, lets hope that holds true :)

But no matter what, life is still good.

Ah finally

Wanted to cut my hair ala2 GI jane dah lama tapi ada aje hal. but yours truly finally got it done. couldnt run this morning sebab laundry berlonggok-longgok (how did it happen? oh ya, abang long's huge college pile had disrupted the routine somewhat) but after hanging out the last tshirt and adding in the final dash of oregano to the mush i call kuah spaghetti (lunch) i had time to spare !!!!! didnt take me long to haul my saggy ass over to the strands, seksyen 6. helen didnt have many clients this lazy sunday afternoon so in the blink of an eye, i had me this really close crop. heh, ringan rasa kepala.

Now i'm sooo tempted to colour it red like that alias gal (of course laa takleh compare bcoz dia muda belia but nobody's gonna give a shit with it being in the tudung and all lol). golfman's given the green light, the boys think i've gone nuts but AH thinks its cool :)

Hmmm orange pun besh gak kat part spikey spikey tu lol

Oh... and AI discovered 3 strands of grey hair on my head just now. gempak satu household bcoz so far i havent had any grey yet; non that was visible anyway. and the kids have been amassing a small fortune (duit cabut uban) from their babah & opah for plucking out the grey lol.

Nah, i think i want it to stay where it is..... sorry kiddos ;)

Going for my run now and i'm dragging the hubs along.

** Running Update **

Only managed a 1.2 km run *sigh* sebab golfman wanted to brisk walk.

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I'm in a clicking mood this weekend much to the dismay of my camera-shy kids lol


AF leaving for his date kat klcc.. menyengih sakan :)


AH with her guitar.. she got it for her birthday last year


lepak2 after dinner getting free lessons from bang long


AI studying (konon) but notice the handphone thats within easy reach lol

A relaxing day

Heheh............ everyone got to do their own thing today:

Golfman - what else if not golfing ?!

Mak - puttering about in the sliver of land we call garden.

AF - out with other techno otakus at low yatt, kl.

AI - mengadap computer & ps2.

AH - writing, writing and writing.

Me - did my morning run (usual 4 km) and after the chores it was time for a little 'kitty-watching' as opposed to bird-watching lol (birdies not as cute). changed the batteries of the old clicker and waited patiently for the furry ones to provide me with the material and they didnt disappoint me one bit :)

I'd like to call this the Snooze Series and none of the poses were manipulated in any way (except AH provided the props ie pillows & blankies lol). just a pair of sleep-crazy kitties :)



















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The hubby and i just attended a wedding reception at the Dewan Jubilee Perak, Bangunan SSAAS (close to where moi gets to crack her head 8-5, mons to fridays). a friend buat menyambut menantu for her anak sulung. she has 5 children so its one down and 4 to go. was a rather touching occasion because she did it all on her own. the husband had died of stroke a couple of years back. during the reception, both of us were also appreciating the hall we were in. i'd been there before and quite often in fact because everytime any of the govt departments did a talk or seminar at the auditorium, we always had the jamuan at the hall. but tonite its been transformed into quite a magical place!!! what beautiful props and proper lighting can do to a place. definately worth considering as a venue for future wedding receptions :)

Semoga Azmall & Rozida berbahagia dunia akhirat dan dicucuri rahmat & nikmat NYA.

The big C

Nazrah's entry about her mom's relapse (my duas are with you naz) sort of brought it all back to me, this dread and fear for the great C. gerun, ngeri, takut .. 1001 macam perasaan. i see it all around me and at my age, its not only affecting the generation of dads, moms, aunts & uncles but also friends. they seem to be falling like autumn leaves and mostly due to the famous four: hypertension, heart attacks/strokes, diabetes and cancer.

I had my share of the great scare. when i was in college, i discovered a lump at my left breast and had it removed immediately. i was lucky it wasnt malignant but it was quite a scare nevertheless. later when i had my 2nd child i discovered another one but i was to have another lucky break; the doc said it was most likely a lump associated with my breastfeeding and just as predicted, it did disappear when i stopped. but each of my boys were 'hantu kopek' lol and were breastfed to the max of 2 years and by then, i'd already developed a paranoia for lumps. yessiree, i'm one of those people who religiously carry out self-exams... often. so far so good.

But even if cancer is a devastating disease the prognosis is better than it used to be and i get prove of that from close friends. Off my head, 3 have had successful masectomies and have each been in remission ranging from 7 to 3 years. 4 have done away with their wombs/uterus and having remissions ranging from 8 years to 2 months. a friend's hubby had his colon cancer succesfully arrested by surgery & chemo and has been going about merrily for the past 5 years. and of course there're others; neighbour's family members, friends of friends, but i wont list them all here.

Its not my intention to downplay any of the struggle, the pain or the sorrow but more to focus on the fact that there is life after cancer. the common factor in all the survivors seems to be their own strong will to live and thus keep on fighting. and that they have at their disposal the undivided love & support of friends & family each time they hit the lows. its not something that can be borne alone. terlalu berat untuk dipikul sendirian so if we do have family & friends with cancer, pls make time for them because they need us.

Kak ct, a close friend & senior officemate, has such a positive and upbeat attitude that others often forget that she's a cancer survivor. bosses load her with work and the rest sometimes lay heavy demands on her which i think is unwarranted. not that she should be treated differently but just that she should be given due consideration. i mean its like this big battle and for them to have fought and won !!! wow... survivors should be treated as war heroes no less. we really have to be more sensitive because there seldom is a complete cure, just remissions. kak ct admits to going thru moments of absolute stark terror especially when she has unaccounted aches & pains coz thats when she worries about relapses. but i tell her not to think too much about it. i mean she never misses any of her folllow ups and has made all the necessary allowances in her diet & lifestyle. she has done her best. but on the other hand, the reality is theres also a myriad other illnesses lying in wait ready to pounce on all of us. so, a person might have say a 10 year remisssion slotted for him/her but after just 5 years dies of a stroke instead. there just isnt any certainty in life as it is. and who's to say the sick has a shorter lifespan compared to the rest? i may be crossing the street and a lorry runs me down just like that (nauzubillah).

But crux of the matter is... be there for the sick. they need our love, support & understanding.

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Golf man has been playing 2 days straight in one of his seemingly never ending games & tournaments... this time its the 16th annual malaysian petroleum golf classic (all the org minyaks lol). the guyz being the smart buggers that they are, slotted in dinners for the 2 nites so that all the spouses and significant others can feel they're part of the whole shebang. so thats how moi got to attend the final prize giving dinner & dance a while ago :)

It was a buffet of sorts. the venue wasnt all that suitable i thought (RP Entertainment, The Saujana) a little sempit for that kind of occasion but great for cozy little groups. the food was so so and we were intermittently entertained by headwind. but after the prize presentation there was the lucky draw (lots of cash vouchers and the grand prize was a return trip for 2 to perth) and later the dance. it was fun but we didnt win anything... the hubs had a bad run and lucky draws have this tendency to ignore our existence lol

But like i said it was fun. 'twas a chance to catch up with friends and to *burp* 'scuse me... stuff my face heheh.

September already?!

Aduh..... as you get older time not only flies but seem to move faster than the speed of light!!!! Its september and by mid-month i'll be hitting 44 (klu ikut kalendar islam lagi awal). alahai, its that time already and with each passing year i see my life blood leaking out slowly. that much closer to the end but i've yet to feel i've done anything significant. my must do list before the big sayonara pun has hardly been touched.

My main enemy is by far procrastination. not to mention lack of self discipline. and focus. oh i have loads of willpower once i make up my mind but its back to procrastination. not to mention lack of self discipline. and focus.

Vicious cycle.

Mak once said, i'm like the katak bawah tempurung. tau kehidupan dia je... asyik2 laki kau anak2 kau. sometimes i dont even notice the newly mowed lawn, or the freshly cut flowers. well, it does have a ring of truth (a loud ring in fact lol) but she of all people should know better how i got to be that way.. but lets not pass the blame backwards up until tok adam and tok hawa. up to a point we're all responsible for what we are, what we have become.

Neeways at any point in time, we can only be who we are be it katak bawah tempurung ke apa ke but that doesnt mean that i'm not trying hard to raise myself to a higher level, berhijrah ke 'destinasi' yang lebih baik. walaupun the increments tu hardly discernable but its there, i can feel it. i sure wish it can be giant leaps tapi kita tetap hanya mencuba, yang menentukan DIA. rahmat MU ku pohon jua.

I admit my scope for personal 'involvement' is rather limited. I cant seem to handle close interactions in large groups of people. I work hard at keeping my loved ones together & cared for but after that i only have enough of me left for a select group of friends and family. i wish i was more of an extrovert but apart from talking about the weather, my tired mind just deserts me lol. people who dont know me would probably say 'dia tu sombong'. its not that i dont care but i'm just not good at socializing. sorry mak, nak buat camane, walaupun i would love to reach out unfortunately jiwa ni tak cukup besar.

Now that doesnt mean i'm not open. from a very young age i'd had to maneuvre my way around adult situations fraught with undercurrents. in that world, you had to be able to read between the lines because what was being said never reflected what was being meant. awareness and maturity came to me early and so did intuition. but with it also came the 'glass wall'. i had to put it up as protection. with the eventual break up of my parents marriage, their subsequent remariages (babah remarried once and mak twice), my soul would have disintegrated into a million pieces otherwise. so i probably have the 'glass wall' to thank for but its probably also the reason why i was and still am to a certain extent a loner.

Eh, painful reflections and it's not even my birthday yet lol

Yes, i must be getting really old ;)

Merdeka

Merdeka !!

Merdeka !!

Merdeka !!

Selamat Menyambut Kemerdekaan Malaysia .. di mana jua anda berada !!

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Yesterday AI and AH had a merdeka programme at their school. these are photos of AI & friends prior to their renactment of the famous merdeka declaration.

Eve of a great day

Everyone was getting restless towards the end of the meeting but whatever plans directly after, work came first, immediate matters needed to be resolved. But it was already like a premature party when the chairman finally wrapped things up... the mood was such and the comraderie was a strong palpable thing; we were malaysians and proud to be part of a growing nation. and tonite, we'll all be welcoming independence day our own special way !!

Most already had plans and it involved being part of a group one way or another.... it was a time of sharing, even if friends & family just gathered together in front of the tv.

I was in Jln Duta bus terminal last nite to pick up my eldest and though traffic was heavy, the flow was still smooth. i was also lucky enough not to have been caught speeding because jpj was carrying out their usual 'revelry control' operations close to the sg buluh/jln duta toll.. i do tend to get a little carried away along the highway lol. by the time we got back shah alam hot spots like the stadium, dataran merdeka, dataran shah alam, were already bursting with people. but most endearing was a group of kids (boys mostly) bearing flags on an assortment of bicycles cycling as a convoy along the streets. maybe it was a little dangerous for them to be doing so but they obviously were trying to do their bit :) of course there was also the 'high profile' harley and big bikers convoy but the boys didnt seem at all intimidated... they held their own.

My golf nut has his own mad plans lined up and it involves steel clubs n little white balls of course. his first T off for the day was at 3 pm in Glenmarie, followed by a merdeka tourny at KGSAS slotted for midnite till about 5 am (obviously a golf qiyamullail of sorts lol) and at 7 am its another 18 holes at sri selangor. like i always say, gila ni ada macam2 heheh ;) lets tunggu & lihat the state of my pahlawan when he returns noon tomorrrow !!

I dont really have to be jostling with the crowds to enjoy the fireworks..... i can see it all just fine from the balcony of my home. in fact the remaining kiddos (no. 1 has already been abducted by his friends) and kitties are all set to get comfy out there with tidbits and all lol.

Have a good celebration malaysia but take a minute ya to rise beyond the festivities and reconnect with the true meaning of independence.

A growing aversion

I find my capacity to withstand naggings very much diminished with age. lagi berumur lagi tak tahan telinga mendengar segala pok-pek2 dan sok-sek2 yang tak berpenghujung. ahh i can literally feel my ears burning when someone starts with that hateful tone.

What constitutes nagging actually? its not really the content that determines whether a verbal exchange is going to turn into nagging or not. to me its anything thats repeated again and again and again in a slightly peeved or raised voice, and especially when it's about a matter that's already been ascertained as cant be helped or cant be resolved immediately.

When you've piled on the age like me, you'd like to think you've somehow acquired a little wisdom along the way for people not to treat you like a bozo anymore. and i'd probably be able to get away with it looking as old as i do but i sometimes forget to factor in the existence of the 'older' folk (yup even when you sometimes think there isnt anyone else you need to answer to anymore, kazaam.... there's mak or pakcik, mak de, tok ngah. not to mention your significant other when his good mood deserts him and you're suddenly 'the enemy'). Puh-leze. i have earned the right for some peace of mind surely? i am over 40 after all, bukan budak2.... tak suka cakap tak suka tak payah pok-pek2. isnt some decisions and mistakes mine to make?

I've always been hearing that its the men who absolutely abhors nagging and its usually associated with their wives and mothers. friends have confided in me they sometimes dread going back because their wives dont have anything pleasant to say anymore (what these guyz would constitute as pleasing to the ear is another story altogether lol but of course, years of being stuck together does tend to drain one of interesting subject matter) and somehow it all ends up as complaints. org lelaki semakin berumur semakin hendak dimanja, si isteri pula semakin sibuk melayan selepas anak2, cucu pulak (at the forefront of our minds.. "alaa, kan anak cucu kita gak" but it's not always viewed the same way unfortunately). and with such a 'busy' schedule i guess its so easy to slide into nagging. but first the nagging then the neglect... ahh well, nothing happens overnight and it takes two to tango.

But anyway, about the nagging... its not gender specific. anybody in their right mind would hate such a thing and i wouldnt be surprised if there actually was somebody who's been nagged to death lol. tersiksa jiwa raga. also some people have even carried the art to another level. it comes with this specific 'look' that speaks volumes of the owner's displeasure. ughh. drives me off the wall and because i've been subjected to it most of my life, i have tried my level best not to do the same to my loved ones.

Enough is enough. i heard you the first time.

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Oh shah alam nites are now just too beautiful for words. imagine almost every inch to be bathed in wondrous coloured lights. breathtaking and its all part of the fast approaching merdeka day celebration. if only i had a companion to run with, the lights plus the cool nite air would be absolutely wonderful !!! but not only is it that time of the month, i've also had to bring some 'unwelcomed' work home... 15 minutes before punch out time, i get this call from the architect's office requesting an estimate for the new security fence around the istana; meeting first thing in the morning !! aduh apo nak dikato... kan saya yg menurut perintah ?!

How i wish i could be out there running instead.

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2 of my very own....


... star light star bright :)

On Hold

When my other half is going through some sort of crisis or other (usually work related) i'd have to take a minute to figure out the best way to approach the matter sebab silap2 karang benda kecik boleh jadi besar. first, kena tengok pada tahap crisis yang melanda... indication: kemoyokan, ke'grumpy'an dan ketidaklaratan.

-klu its minor buat air n cekodok cepat2 letak sebelah dia and just wait till it all yang tak kena tu is spewed out.

- klu its semi-semi , siddle up to him slowly, picit2 kaki ke tangan ke and klu ada response baru tanya what's up. otherwise stick with the picit2.... and other related activities made available upon request lol.

- klu its berat punya case the only way is to leave the guy alone. he'll spill his guts when hes good n ready.

Orang lain macamana laa plak ek?!

Tapi yang paling tak best selagi tak resolve segala yang terpendam dihati dan terbenam dijiwa, jangan nak harap laa dapat nak ajak jalan2. bebudak paling bosan kalau babah tengah camtu... alamat dari siang sampai malam mengadap the idiot box meng'hafal' AF concerts & diary repeats lol. so its in everyone's best interest to help babah get over all his crisis. quite a motivation for the kiddos.

Especially today since they both want to watch Gol & Gincu. but from my firasat laa..... rasanya hampa je nanti. he's gonna come back from his tournament all tired out and pooped.

Unless he won something or other.

Still... 50 - 50.
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1 lap= 4 km= 35 minutes and still no cough attacks :)

Breaking the inactivity

Alhamdulillah...

i managed to complete my usual lap round the tasik w/out once being taken over by the 'cough hard enough to almost pee n fart at the same time' that i've been dreading so much lol!!!

yay... slow but ok.

1 lap= 4 km= 35 minutes.

and i got the kitties bathed all on the same morning :)

Mentality yg menyedihkan

Adeh.

Ingatkan kita je yang sakit tapi ada orang-orang yang lagi sakit rupanya.

Tenat gak laa rasanya.... kalau isu macam mengidolakan siti nurhaliza & mawi pun boleh jadi tajuk hangat. whazabout the flailing economy mister, the kadar pengangguran yang semakin meningkat dan perkara-perkara yang sewaktu dengannya?

Adeh.

Grow up laa.... kata dah bertahun merdeka. kesian anak2 yang nak mewarisi ni semua nanti.

Frust dengan office politics terus berjangkit ke merata rata.

Deep breaths.

Stick to your own circle of influence dan pulun habis. jgn merepek pasal benda lain.. takut2 yang dikejar ntah kemana yang dikendung plak bertaburan.

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I am woman.. and almost cough free!

Hey.. i'm starting to feel almost human again :)

There is life after a bad flu after all heheh.

Yup.

Yesterday, I got through work on autopilot. Four days of lying prone (sat, sun, mon, tues) in the cool semi-dark haven of my room, ever so careful not to trigger a coughing fit, tetiba terus mengadap piles upon piles of paperwork yg takde kesian punya ?!! it was a wee bit much. In the end semua jadi blur je. Contractor yang datang pun ingat i've turned looney kot (spaced out grin pasted on pale lifeless face.. nak buka mulut tak berani sebab mesti batuk punya lol).

Didnt realise 1 day can make a lot of difference ya !!

Its good to be alive. and i can take in deep lungful breaths of air w/out the customary menggelegak, gatal, oh oh theres a cough coming feeling. heh.

Ok enough euphoria for now. might even be shortlived. it is only midmorning after all lol but i'm optimistic. might even have a go at the treadmill later :)

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Adeh.

Stupid dumb ass.

Dah tau tak boleh minum nescafe tapi gatal gak nak telan secawan. now pay the price woman !!!!!

Fening. baru nak baik dah fening balik. bodoh bodoh bodoh betoi punye bodoh. loya nak muntah, weng. i never learn. i cant tolerate nescafe but sometimes i crave the smell and taste of it. and because it's school break i didnt hafta go back for lunch. and so i did a little 'social drinking' with the rest of my 'tak balik malas2 laze around kat office doing lunchbreak' colleagues. nobody really bothered to get a proper lunch and all bantai je makan roti bakar celup kopi (nescafe to be exact and quite 'lethal' for yours truly).

I'm thinking i can kiss any gym time goodbye. i'm also thinking i might just puke all over my paperwork. *ergh* tenguk dah angin satu kepala. in fact at home its a well known fact that if mama minum nescafe dia saja nak mabuk2 so jgn kacau lol.

Eeek... i dont actually feel like laughing. not really.

Much ado about nothing? maybe... tapi pusing kepala giler siot !!!!!

Ke self sabotage? i thought i'd put that behind me years ago ?!!

I need a loo break... gargle the taste outta my mouth or something. yuks.

*sigh* takde pasal cari pasal.

Sigh

i miss being out there

i miss the sweating

i miss the huffing & puffing

i miss my feet pounding away

i miss taking long deep breaths

i miss the aching muscles

i miss the satisfaction

and i miss the deep dreamless sleep of the bone tired.


And though i'm well into my 2nd round of antibiotics, cough, cold, fever, whatever meds, the fact remains that i'm still coughing terribly. i sooo hate this because nothing is on hold, nothing.

2 Days MC

Thank god... i sure need the rest as well as being spared the embarrassment of being caught in an eye-watering, spit spattering, very very unflattering coughing fit. not to mention mah por sore tummy muscles.

But i still hafta haul ma sorry ass over to BIMB to send off kid no. 1's weekly allowance. oh and not to forget additional funds for a new printer. seems that the old one went kaput !!!! *sigh* adeh malasnye but i hafta when i hafta i guess.

OH and what did i find while i was browsing through the shelves for something to read yesterday ?
hmmm... sooooo this is the type of stuff that the kiddos have been spending my (and the hubs) hard earned money on huh !?!! but apart from the (eeww) garish colours, the title does kinda grab one's attention somewhat. making out in ja-pa-nese... lets see if theres anything in there that can be put to good use.

Hada kirei-dane - you have beautiful skin.
[cant use that one unfortunately both of us are close to kereput lol]

Motto soba-ni konai - come closer to me.
[this is more like it heheh]

Suki-na-no-wa anata-dake (female), Suki-na-no-wa kimi-dake (male) - you're the one i love

Shinu-hodo suki - i love u so much i could die
[aduh poyo tahap giler]

Shikkari dakishimete (female), Tsuyoku dakishimete (male) - hold me tight
[Oooh thats a good one].

Well it does get a little graphic as you go along ..... (kids you shouldnt have gotten the books in the first place !!!!) but makes for interesting reading nontheless. if i try it out on da unsuspecting man, hes surely gonna think all these meds have finally done me in lmao !!

Of tough bugs & royal weddings

Yup... i couldnt fight it off this time coz this meanie, toughie bug has proven stronger than all of us... semua terkena tak banyak, sikit !! i still have this racking cough that leaves me with muscle spasms and not to mention a throbbing head. have no choice but to render myself almost dumb with all the meds (ooo i hate medication !!).

Golfman's not feeling any better but off he went for his usual golf dose... kat rumah kemain laa lagi sakitnya tapi kat padang macho habis!!! tgk laaa, balik nanti pancit semula lol

Oh but he did bring back some juicy news though, juicy enough to have me up & typing lol, seems that one of his golf mates had attended a rather fancy but hush hush wedding reception on saturday at Istana Brunei, KL. and it was for non other than hrh the sultan of brunei himself.... to org subang jaya and tv3 reporter, azrinaz mazhar hakim (hmm yang mana satu yaa?!! apa2pun mesti laa lawa tu lol) . his golf buddy and his daughter came back BND 2,000.00 richer coz thats the door gift for the bride's entourage. whoa.... thats some door gift ya !!!

Anyway selamat pengantin baru to the newlyweds and i'm happy to think that at least azrinaz can expect a fairer treatment back in brunei because there all the sultan's wives are publicly acknowledged. for formal functions all the wives will be attending and kat the throne pun nanti ada 3 chairs. well, at least that was how it was back in 1999 (or was it 2000?!) when i was on an official visit to all the istanas.

Oh datelines

With 3 tenders to go through and pre negotiation meeting set for tomorrow, i probably wont even have time for loo visits let alone write lol

It would be nice to share the tips i picked up from last nite's talk by Hushim Salleh, lecturer & caunselor for MU. It was arranged by the school's PIBG and topic of discussion was 'Keibubapaan Cemerlang' .

Laterzz.
-------------------------------------------------


Ceramah Pendidikan Keibubapaan
oleh
Tuan Hj Hushim Salleh
-Pensyarah Kaunselor Universiti Malaya
-Kaunselor Berdaftar, Lembaga Kaunseling Malaysia.

TH Hushim's talk on parenting was quite interesting and he chose to have it delivered in an informal manner. being the experienced counselor that he is (he started off as a teacher, then a school caunselor and later became a lecturer in caunseling or something to that effect) i think he wanted to avoid putting the parents on the defensive because parenting, or to be more exact good parenting, can be a rather sensitive subject.

He started off with some shocking facts.... being on the Juvana Board brought him in close contact with teenage delinquents and what he found out was:

1. boys experiment with smoking as early as std 3 and usually take it up seriously once they hit secondary school.
2. boys (and a small percentage of girls) who smoke in form 1, 2 & 3 are most likely also trying out weed (ganja).
3. the latest nationwide fad is taking cough syrup in its pure, undiluted form.
4. teen girls are selling their 'wares' for only RM5.00 and when asked why they were doing it, the answer - saja suka2 & after all everyone they know are doing the same thing *shudder* the poor confused babies !!

From that point on he had our undivided attention.

In general.

- he went on to say that parents nowadays must equip themselves with some basic skills in caunseling & psychology to be effective.

- parents need to stop comparing their childhood with that of their children because times have changed and it would be unfair to expect it to remain so. whenever we make such comparisons it's most likely viewed as a fairy tale because the kids can never relate to it. eg "zaman babah dulu mana ada baju raya. wan & tok susah, baju sekolah yg baru tu lah jadi baju raya babah".... yes the kids will dengar sampai ternganga but they cant really fathom the depth of suffering & sacrifice that went on back then especially since they 've never had the opportunity of experiencing or witnesssing such a situation themselves.

- parents tak boleh membiarkan perasaan kecewa, putus asa atau dendam menguasai diri mereka dalam mendidik anak2.

- parental influence will start to wane once the teen hits secondary school and the child will start to turn more and more to his/her peers especially if the parents fail to make themselves accessible & available.

- one of the best ways to ensure the continued strengthening of familial bonds is to continue incorporating family activities well into the late teenage years. jgn biarkan wujud sebarang keperluan yg memungkinkan anak to seek his peers for guidance & knowledge because actually they're all still groping in the dark.

- parents must be steadfast during the teenage years (secondary school) because the kids will usually attain maturity once they head for college. i.e. secondary school laa time yg paling mencabar... sebab masa sekolah rendah pulak masih boleh disuruh dan dipujuk utk patuh pada arahan.

- parents mesti 'cemburu' pada anak2 supaya at least masih tahu who they go out with and where they're going.

- parents should balance the need for IQ and EQ because academic achievement and emotional intelligence are both equally important.

From the academic angle.

- set aside a scheduled time to check on the teens progress. a common place to start will be to check on the state of his homework.

- allocate a common study area for such purpose instead of going to his/her own room. bedrooms are usually associated with sleep & relaxation and where teen is most easily distracted.

- create suasana pembelajaran. the tried & tested way has always been keeping abreast of homework followed by lots and lots of latih tubi.

- be aware that pencapaian & motivasi berkait rapat. students who have slacked in their studies usually just give up because of the fear that they may never catch up. the teen's confidence level & semangat jatidiri masih goyah untuk menangani kegagalan dengan baik. so parents must make sure anak tak ketinggalan dlm matapelajaran. thus his/her achievement will be consistent and the level of motivation remains high.

- once problem sets in, parents should not start laying blame on anyone. jangan menuduh & mengungkit instead cari jalan penyelesaian secepat mungkin. identify the root cause and set to rectify the situation by providing suitable aid e.g. extra tuition classes or short motivational sessions.

- usually academic failure will also bring forth social problems. and the worst of all problems are drugs & sexual abuse.

From the emotional/spiritual angle.

- parents should train themselves to be good listeners.

- parents should encourage more touching; hugging & kissing between parent & child will help bridge whatever gap that might threaten to appear.

- parents should maintain a stable emotional state when dealing with teens. avoid reacting.

- parents should never forget their responsibilty as the teen's main role model. e.g. if a father must smoke, he should do so out of the house preferably w/out the teen's knowledge. dont cop out by saying 'you must listen to me but you musnt follow me' (duhh).

- teens especially boys, should be encouraged to be more active in their co-curriculum because unscheduled free time is an open invitation to all kinds of experimentation & misbehaviour.

- parents must follow up with continuous usaha, doa, puasa & solat hajat for the benefit of the teen and the whole family.

Now nobody said being a parent was easy lol ;)

The following is his '4 Tahap Pendidikan Awal' berasaskan saranan Rasulullah saw:

1 - 7 tahun: Didik secara bergurau

8 - 14 tahun: Didik anak melalui disiplin & tunjuk ajar.

15 - 21 tahun: Didik secara berkawan.

Selepas 21 tahun: Beri kebebasan untuk buat keputusan & bertindak.

I even bought his book (Anakku Sayang - panduan keibubapaan cemerlang) but it was more a show of support then anything else (pendek sangat.. more like a booklet). He did personally signed it though :) Of course being right in the middle of a weekday and malam somemore gave it enough reason for the lukewarm turnout tapi itu laa hakikatnya. like the man said, ibubapa yang selalunya datang ke majlis sebegini adalah ibubapa yang tidak mempunyai masalah sebenarnya. the ones yang betul2 bermasalah just dont bother. pelik kan? And as usual there's more women than men (i've given up rationalising on that issue). hubs himself kalau tak kerana merengkuk demam pun takkan datang gak lol. rasa its all beneath them? entahlah.

Mothers & daughters

Its a delicate relationship that mothers & daughters share. its one of shared values & insights, of mutual support & comfort but...... its also one that can so easily turn into rivalry at any one time, on either side. by understanding each other only too well one can easily be very supportive or be very critical of each another. after all the maxim is, if i can do it so can you... we are women, one and the same so no excuses. oh, dont get me wrong, the love is always there but it can sometimes get lost in highly volatile situations. and i guess knowing full well whats in store for our daughters do tend to make us a little tough in our quest to prepare them for the 'worst'.

I had a rather bleak & desolate childhood. even before desperate housewives turned it into a fad, i was already going through a life of quiet desperation. although i was an only child, having a beautiful and totally self-absorbed mother turned my existence into nothing but an afterthought..... the whole universe centred around her. however hard my dad & granny tried to fight or deny it, the fact remained that she always came first. we were but her adoring slaves and through the endless manipulation & emotional blackmail, i learnt to accept it, to live with it but the scars remain. oohh i have long forgiven whatever wrong done to me both real & imaginary but its also not something i'm likely to forget.

If nothing else, it has made me adamant that i would try my darnedest to be sensitive to my childrens' feelings & to handle their self-esteem with extreme care. i know first hand how fragile a child's blossoming sense of self can be and how easy it would be to trample it to shambles. the challenge is in finding the right balance between being too open & being too rigid.

Children will be children, both endearing and exasperating lol. but from observation & experience, gender plays a certain part. i find the bond that exist between a boy and his mother is less fraught with undercurrents (not unlike that special bond a girl usually shares with her dad) in comparison to that of a girl and her mom. theres actually a wealth of information that a mother can pass on to her daughter but it all depends on whether theres a willingness in the giving & the taking... bertepuk sebelah tangan takkan menjadi and of course, there are mothers who dont even bother while others just care too much. her eagerness to impart knowledge & experience can be misconstrued as meddlesome and a daughter's hesitance in following advice can be viewed as disrespectful. so barriers are raised and opportunities are lost unless a way out is found. Probably the same goes for fathers & their sons - theres also a greater tendency for them to be at loggerheads with one another.

lord, i hope soo much to be a good mom, a better parent because i love the kiddos so. but i am also aware that love without commitment can be quite disastrous and i'm praying hard for the wisdom to be doing this right. the boys are my strength while sweet AH is my youth and right now i'm having so much fun revisiting it with her lol. even if there'll be rocky days ahead (lidah lagi kan tergigit) we will see it through with our respect & dignity intact, insyaallah.

-------------------------------------------

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
And she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on the steps with my heart in my hand
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too

Ooh, you see that skin
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too

Boys you can break
You find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong and boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from a woman's good, good heart
On behalf of every man, looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too


Daughters
by John Mayer

Blessed rain

Alhamdulillah. panas2 pun akhirnya hujan jua dan dengannya di bawa pergi sekelumit lagi kesan jerebu yg masih bertandang.

Nothing special.... just another ordinary day. namun hamba Mu tetap bersyukur diberi rahmat untuk terus menikmati suka duka kehidupan ini.

Golfman masih tak berapa sihat tapi siapa yang dapat pisahkan dia dengan golfnya ?!! lepas balik main terus KO. apo nak di kato ?!! tepuk dada tanya selera. the kids selalu marah mama.... 'you shouldnt let babah play laa ma", or "you shouldnt let babah makan roti manis tu ma, he's diabetic", or "you should stop him taking ribena tu ma tak elok". fyi bebudak, there is such a thing as mutual respect... see, all mama can do is remind your babah of his condition, the rest is up to him. if he still insist on doing certain things, its his decision as the waras & mature adult. we have to respect that. and after all i am his wife, not a nag nor am i his mother.

Ya, bila sakit mama gak yg susah tapi sikit je... paling2 pun sebelum makan ubat, ma kena suap nasi dulu baru nak makan. mengada2 you say?!! now kids, it is his right as the head of the family to mengada2 or whatever ;)

--------------------------------------------

** Treadmill Log **

Incline: 1 - 2
Time: 45 mins
Speed: 7 - 8 and spurts of 9
Distance: 5.5 km
Calories burned: 370 kj

Manning the ship.

Man's home half semput, mak's down with fever, kid no. 1 reports the same all the way from sg petani, kid no. 2 is in bed with asthma and kid no. 3 has cough & running nose.

Yes world, i am left manning the ship yet again !!!

What can i say ?! i guess i'm blessed with the constitution of an ox and the stamina to keep slogging on. but that doesnt mean i dont have my 'off' days. would you believe i have often wished (many many times) that i'd suddenly fall in a dead faint (dekat somewhere soft & cushiony laa preferably lol) just so people around here would realise that i'm also human and start taking my aches & pains seriously !!

Anyway i'm not really griping laa just story2 je ok lol. Because i get to be home on a monday !!!!! i did drop by the office first thing just to make sure an important letter is out before noon and also to let the bosses know they wont be having the pleasure of my company today (heheh 'pleasure' my foot). but after getting the 'sick ones' their fav food (only then would they even consider taking their meds) and taking care of my other chores, i do get to sit at my most fav spot on earth (to read, relax, ponder, snooze)... my veranda. not big by any standard but where the green and the slight breeze is enough to calm my often frayed nerves.

Hah... i hear noise... someone must be wanting something or other so adios for now :)

---------------------------------------------------

Heh, jest lookit that !!! thats chewy at a main corner of my lounge, a place he has claimed as his very own (and since the kitties i can kiss colour coordinated stuff goodbye) lol

he's a garfield wannabe and even at 4 months i think hes halfway there. but hes a chicken at heart though. his lil bro nico is made of sterner stuff.


Now check this out lol...

these 2 pics were taken about 1 minute apart. i was snapping away from different angles when suddenly chewy turned to nico and walla.....

berpeluk laa plak lol !!

Clear skies?

Thank you Lord for this 2 days of clear (if not so blue yet) skies. no more smoke filled lungs even if i'm not even sneaking a puff. no more having to stay indoors because its hazardous. no more going nuts with all this repressed energy.

Yup my son confirms the haze has moved up north. Sg petani is now enveloped in smoke but probably not as bad as it was here in klang valley a couple of days back. * sigh* are we going to be victims of unmonitored burning forever?

Yesterday i was surprised to see most of the shah alam parks filled with people, they were out in droves!! come to think of it i really shouldnt have been... semua org mengambil kesempatan utk menikmati udara yg telah beransur pulih. who knows how long it'll last! families filled the dataran merdeka fields, the lake even dataran shah alam. it felt like a party. oh and to mark the occasion i got to meet up with a classmate i havent seen for the past 27 years!!!! of course being a sabahan and running a business in his hometown didnt help. the possibility of bumping into each other was almost non existent lol. well, another classmate arranged for a small get together at kenny rogers alam sentral shah alam and about 10 of us turned up. it was fun rehashing old stories and for a minute there we were all kids again.... goes to show the soul never really grows old, just the body. and a much altered body at that lol.

Yay... i'm back to pounding the pavements again :)

Yesterday i only managed a lap round the tasik because it was already late and i did have to keep that 'date' with my classmates. so that made it a measly 4 km but hey its better than nothin' ;).

This morning i got out in the wake of golfman (he tees off pretty early) and really made the most outta my run. even took my own sweet time to warm up and cool down. lepas geram terperuk kat rumah for the past 3-4 days lol


** Pavement pounding Log **

1st lap= about 4km= 25 mins
2nd lap= about 4km= 32 mins
total= 8km= 57 mins

I hope to keep this up since i'm training to keep it under 60 mins. the qualifying time for putrajaya is 1 hr 10 mins (still havent registered yet). but problem is i can suddenly get all puncit on certain days. must try to be consistent.

Tally at week's end: about 17 km.

Checkpoints

when at a loss..

- go back to basics
- check priorities
and when theres no way out,
- pick the lesser of 2 evils.

Kewujudan

Sakit kepala.

Loya.

I'm not predisposed to ailments. not the type to let little things like headaches, colds, slight fevers get in the way of what has to be done. not the type to take meds lightly either for they just cloud my judgement and slow me down. only if absolutely necessary. a soldier's daughter slogs on.

When i was younger it was imperative that i figure out who & what i was supposed to be and the reason for my existence. that it had to be something earthshaking & mindboggling or meaningful at the very least. and that i just had to find the answer otherwise my life would be rendered useless or so i thought. in this society where a makcik (especially one well over 40) is expected to be a makcik... well mannered & proper, worldly & wise... i'm openly declaring that this makcik still doesnt know for sure the answer to all those deep soul-baring questions. nope, years do not necessarily make you all the wiser, at least not for me. but i have figured out one thing though.... that its actually OK not to be certain. that theres actually nothing wrong with me. that God only bestows that certainty of purpose and the inner peace that comes with it to a chosen few. that HE knows best and everything happens for a reason.

So i'm not here to discover that illusive cure for the common cold or cancer or aids... i'm not here to save the ozone layer nor here to lead the muslimah. OK then. i have my family & friends and in my own small sphere of existence, i suppose i am making a difference. somewhere along the way i've discovered a flair for being the middleman (or rather woman). yup, the family mediator, thats me.... between mak & hubby (after all these years they still hate each other's guts), between my kids & mak (she keeps picking on them when all they need is space to grow), between hubby & the kids (he's first instinct is to react, react, react), between my stepmom/bros/sis & mak (lets not open that can of worms right now), between my hubby and his eldest brother (when 2 great egos collide).

I suppose if thats what the MIGHTY one has in mind for me, who am i to question? :) oh i dont kid myself into thinking i'm indispensable. i've no doubts whatsoever that if i'm wiped out from the face of this earth, the man will remarry, the kids will survive and mak will have my house to live out the rest of her days with her cronies. after all life goes on. but in the meantime i'll just keep on doing what i seem to be doing best.

Aaarghh... this sakit kepala is not getting any better. jerebu oh jerebu !!!!

More haze.

Even my kitties are staying indoors and thats a lot to say about the haze. mana ada anak kucing yang tak suka mengelewak kat luor tu !!!!! Seems port klang has already hit the API 500 ++ mark and they still havent declared darurat yet have they?!! hmm .. that means shah alam must be somewhere in the province of API 400 +++++

The API's are one thing but out there the evidence is 'crystal clear' ;) i could hardly see more than 2-3 cars ahead of me when i was home for lunchbreak. and unfortunately for me, i have a kid to pick up at the jalan duta bus terminal right after work. selalunya boleh duduk diam2 je kat shah alam where i can get most of what i need... tup tup today of all days kena lak ambik si bang long yg tetiba windu nak balik... ish ish ish. hope i dont get stuck anywhere along the peak hour exodus going in & out the city.

I'm thinking my cek abe memang nak menempah sakit. would you believe that he has a game lined up this evening !!!! i'm left to wonder nampak ke bola golf jerebu2 ni... pas tu nite golfing somemore?!! and i'm talking about a guy who has asthma & who needs regular puffs of becotide & ventolin. somehow it seems quite apt that i borrow his own oft repeated words "stupidity knows no limit" LMAO. hai nak buat camane kan, nak lepuk dah bapak org, nak bising2 its just not my style so kita tunggu dan lihat je laa. malam jumaat pulak tu... seronok gak klu memeriahkan surau & masjid kan (among other things) lol. apa2pun he's still my goofy grumpy lovable golf nut :)

Oohh... how i'm dreading this ride into the hazy city (walaupun outskirts je sebenor2 nya). dan nampaknya kena laa berbuka dlm kereta je nanti. alahaaaaai !!!

Everything's hazy

If i knew it was going to turn out this bad i would have stopped AI from going to school just like i did with AH. he's the one with asthma but thank god so far he seems to be holding up. i remember those days when he was younger... leaving the house for a 24 hr clinic in the wee hours of the morning was almost routine for us then.

I wonder why the pengetuas are not using the powers given to them to declare it unfit for school? can it be anything but a health hazard when you can literally taste the smoke? and the school authorities have the cheek to say 'tak datang sekolah pun tak pe' ?!!! *sigh* somebody pls have the balls to close down the schools for the time being. AI was telling me, "ma, masa kitorang kat library nampak kat luar macam scary movie... mula2 minaret masjid kena telan (his school sits atop a hill overlooking the state mosque), lepas tu the SUK building pulak (where my office is located), then concord started disappearing, lepas tu mall pun mula nak kabur. dasyat ma!!!!" . must have been quite a diversion lol

The latest news: visibility is less than 1 km. API: shah alam 349 and kl 276. hmmm... my cek abe will have to wade his way through the thick haze and i hope everyone remembers to drive safe. klu hujan senang skit ada gak wiper tapi klu haze, would the fog light be effective enough i wonder?

Of course the haze also means i can forget about running. its back to paula & jane for now i suppose. oh, i did get to visit wak mon ironfingers during my lunch break...... feeeling goooooood :)

Have you been prodded & pummelled by your fav masseuese lately lol?

I gotta go.... the haze is making me slightly nauseous (and as usual AH is very, i repeat, very concerned whenever her mama gets pening2.... takut sgt dapat adik ekekeh). which is bloody unlikely, unless we factor in Divine Intervention of course lol

Something keeps pushing me on.

I've always had these dreams of running effortlessly; on winged feet, cool wind rushing over face & hair, across serene countryside & beautiful beaches... and each time i'll wake up to that euphoric yet unsatisfied feeling one gets from dreaming the impossible dream (much like the fantasy of having hugh jackman aka wolverine, my fav hunk of all time, totally at my beck & call lol).

Probably my inner self expressing a need to escape the humdrum of everyday living, the 'mundane'ness of a dull 'scheduled' existence... a sure fire recipe for getting into a rut. Dunno. But what i do know is, without any conscious effort on my part, running has somehow become an important part of my life right now. lol, the timing isnt too great i know, especially since i'm over forty and have to deal with creaky joints and such, but surpringly it has also given me much pleasure & satisfaction (ohh and not to mention the more than occasional pain lol).

August to august.... it has now been a year of consistently jogging & running my saggy butt off lol. and i honestly dont know what it is thats pushing me on. its soooo easy to just skip it and get on with my reading instead, settle down on my comfy sofa, put my feet up and have all sorts of imaginable tidbits & long cool drinks at my disposal. tapiiiiii..... i have found that nothing really beats that 'all sweat out, kinda pooped but great to be alive' feeling one gets by exerting oneself to a point just beyond one's comfort level.

Try it. after the initial inertia, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

I also need to review my diet & eating habits if i'm going to do this the right way. i'm starting to get tired much faster now that i'm building up to 8 km. i cant continue being too calorie conscious because i'm now expending quite a lot of energy. what i need to do is to pack in enough to generate the required energy level.... both in the correct amount and the correct choice of food. Ooohh its going to feel quite sinful not to be minding too much about what i'm eating. i've been doing battles with this voracious appetite for as long as i can remember lol

Basic NUTRITION facts for Runners (and wannabes like me lol)

.. 2000 or more calories spread over the day in accordance with when we need energy
.. Give in to nutritious cravings, but tough out the need for a donut.
.. Try to have a 50% carb, 20% protien, 30% fat ratio.
.. 10 servings of grains per day
.. 7 of fruit
.. 4 of vegetables
.. 5-6 oz of lean meat or 2-3 servings of soy
.. 3 servings of lowfat milk products
.. 2-3 servings per week of a fatty fish (or uncooked flaxseed oil) to get your omega-3 fats
.. Low fat is just as bad as high fat
.. Water, water, water and more water
.. No soda.

in addition,

When?
If you think of your energy needs on an hourly basis instead of a daily basis, you may realize that your eating your biggest meal and then doing nothing, whereas you hardly eat at all before your runs. This isn’t a useful way to eat. You should eat a bigger breakfast and lunch and a smaller dinner, as well as snacks at the right time. For instance, if you plan to go to work, run, then come home and relax. You would want to eat a nice hardy breakfast to get you started, have a medium sized lunch and then have an energy-packed snack about ½ hour before your run. Then you can have a smaller dinner to help your after-run recovery. So, think about when you need the energy and plan your meals and snacks accordingly.

How Often?
If you run daily, you can expect to need to eat about every 3-5 hours. Even if you don’t run daily, 5 hours is an acceptable amount of time between meals/snacks. It’s important that you avoid long periods without eating to avoid wide swings in your blood sugar levels, which aren’t good for your body or your running. If you commit to eating every 3-4 hours and plan ahead to have healthy foods when you need them, it is much easier to make the commitment to eat healthier and stay away from the vending machine. Remember, skipping meals or skimping on calories does not support the goal of training with adequately fueled muscles.

How Much?
As a runner, our bodies need more fuel, thus more food, than the average sedentary person. It is a good assumption that if you are running 15 or more miles per week, you should not be consuming less than 2000 calories per day, even if you are trying to lose weight. (Remember, when you eat them during the day is important too.) If you running 25 miles per week you should average closer to 2500 calories a day.

Basic HYDRATION facts for Runners

Hydration is usually left out of nutrition, but it shouldn’t be. Being well hydrated is a must for runners. 60-70% of our bodies are made of water. And, during exercise, our body produces more heat, thus causing sweat to cool us down. When we sweat out our water supply, we must consume more water to keep our core temperature down.

Water has also been proven to aid in weight loss. It helps you feel full while eating less, quenches thirst without adding calories, and allows your body to function at its top capability. 70% of our muscles are made of water. Being hydrated helps give muscles that toned, muscular look so many people desire. Metabolism is a chemical process that requires water,which means if you are dehydrated you will not be burning calories as efficiently, whether you are sleeping or running. Water is equally important for your skin. Being hydrated will help your skin look (and be) healthy.

If you run for 60 min or less, water alone should be fine to keep you hydrated. If you run for more than an hour at a time, you’ll need to replenish electrolyte as well. (Sports drinks and energy gels usually have enough electrolytes to keep you covered.) Doing this will improve your performance by delaying dehydration and maintaining a high blood-sugar level during exercise. It also lowers the risk of catching a cold by boosting your immune system.

So when choosing beverages, remember these things:
.. Water is almost always your best option.
.. Tea (noncaffienated and unsweetened) and juice (juice not cocktail drinks) are good alternatives, though, when you just need something else. Sports drinks are also good for your body, especially during and after runs.
.. Coffee and alcohol don’t need to be nixed completely but be taken in very small amounts. 2 cups of coffee a day isn’t going to help your body at all. Neither will two beers.
.. As far as bad options, that you really should stay away from, soda is at the top of the list. While you probably aren’t going to drop dead from drinking a Pepsi, it is doing nothing for you and, under normal circumstances, is more harmful for your body than any of the other drinks listed here.

Well, i dunno how long i'll be able to keep doing this but i'm hoping to put in another couple of years before the old knee & ankle start protesting loud enough to finally be heard lol. in the meantime, this runner wannabe will continue slogging her merry old way. no doubt much much slower than the rest of the pack but i would like to think, steady enough not to be an embarrassment ;)

Oh shoot.... today's haze is the worse to hit shah alam yet. nasib baik its gym time at maksak today. really terrible terrible haze... boleh terhidu bau asapnya. those poor kids at school. hope the teachers have more sense than to keep them outside.

------------------------------------------

** Treadmill Log **

Time: 45 mins
Incline: 1
Speed: 7 - 8
Distance: 5.4 km
Calories burned: 360 kj

Gimme 5

We were lazing about drinking ice cool milo each doing our own stuff (i was reading, AH was writing & AI was teasing the kitties) when i brought up the subject of The Prophet's 5 before 5 hadith (diriwayatkan oleh Imam Al-Hakim dan Imam Al-Baihaqi daripada Ibnu Abbas Radiallahu-Anhuma) i.e.

Pergunakanlah lima kesempatan sebelum datangnya lima kesempitan :
.. kesempatan sihat mu sebelum datang sakitmu.
.. kesempatan lapang mu sebelum datang masa sibuk mu.
.. kesempatan hari muda mu sebelum datang hari tuamu.
.. kesempatan waktu engkau kaya sebelum datang kemiskinanmu.
.. kesempatan masa hidup mu sebelum datang saat kematianmu.

And i added ... kesempatan belajar mu sebelum datang spm mu... see, i'm using every opportunity possible to drive in that fact to my liat, malas, but otherwise very ok son.

After everyone shared their thoughts on the matter, i told my daughter, "Yang, kita orang perempuan ada our own 5 to deal with as we get along in life" and as usual whenever theres any hint of 'citer org pompuan' my son would suddenly pretend disinterest but i could literally see his ears perking up lol.

I call it the 5 Ms :

Menstruation.. reaching puberty is a big event in a young girls life ya ?!! its an initiation into womanhood and along with it, all the responsibilities and opportunities. yang membanggakan & juga menyusahkan especially when you're the school going age and later during those oh so very 'subur' years when issues of birthcontrol will have to be dealt with one way or another.

Men.. that all important factor w/out which life would decidedly be very much calmer but never quite as interesting lol yang boleh menjadi pelindung tapi boleh juga menjadi pemusnah.

Marriage.. to me its life's greatest challenge as well as the greatest opportunity for personal growth. yang menuntut komitmen & kesungguhan, yang mengajar erti perkongsian & pengorbanan. paving the way for motherhood (of which AH will always give a little shudder lol) and all its trials & joy !!

Menopause.. the gradual putting down of the mantle and growing old gracefully (having a live-in opah helps the kids to understand this somewhat)

Mortality.. coming to grips with the eventual end. death is inevitable but nobody said we had to wait it out just shaking legs. seize the day!! start with loving yourself.. its the hardest thing to do but its also the ultimate in bersyukur.

And AI tetiba menyampuk.... "eh, ma kitorang macamana plak?" (completely forgetting the fact that dia tgh 'control macho' and pretending disinterest lol)

"Haa... tu kena tanya babah ahh!!"

Oh, dont get me wrong. i've always been open with the kids and we'd had the birds & the bees (and much more) covered eons back. but when it comes to dispensing tips about being a man.... well, i definitely have to leave that to golfman himself kan ?! a man i certainly am not :)

Lazy sunday

Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me back to you

That may be all I needIn darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself back home to you

And you may not know
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning

Sunday Morning,
MAROON 5.

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** Running Log **

1st lap= about 4 km= 25 mins
2nd lap= about 4 km= 30 mins
Total= about 8 km= 55 mins

It didnt rain but it sure was a hazy morning. bersemangat punya pasal lari gak lol and once ur out there in the jerebu it aint too bad ;) planned to register for the putrajaya run at alamanda but we had visitors so i've postponed it till later.

A bonus

Its a good thing the man's down with flu coz hes home on this glorious saturday morning, hey !!!! take it from me, its a rare thing indeed... boleh dibilang dek jari. normally, come dawn he's already out of the house, grazing... oops, i mean gracing the many greens of the klang valley lol

I was tempted to keep snuggling under the covers but i treasure my early morning runs so so much (weekend je boleh hari lain keje). neeways, he was sleeping like a log with the meds and all. tak sedar pun bini takde lol

Yup, i'm in a good mood alright... had me a great run :)

Got back in plenty of time for breakfast at his fav eating place... org kelate mesti nak pekena nasi dage, laksam & such whenever they possibly can, walaupun jauh skit tak mengape heheh. anyway, if you like east coast fare, theres hatinie at seksyen 10, shah alam (gawd even with exorbitant prices the place is always packed) but we prefer another place at TTDI Jaya. i keep forgetting the name but its right beside a mamak shop in an area immediately opposite TTDI Jaya's surau. the food is tasty, the selection is wide & varied, and to top it all the prices are quite reasonable. masa ramadhan lagi giler2 :)

Golfman has agreed to take me karaoke'ing at the club later... so long as we're home before maghrib and more importantly, home before his AF concert (he's an absolute fanatic i tell ya). and tonite being the finals somemore. sah, memang laa takkan bergerak kemana!!! hmmm... apa ya nak masak utk malam ni nanti? spaghetti'o kot... but golfman lebih suka maggie goreng lol and prolly a lot of finger food also. silap2 jadi food fest laa plak nanti heh ;)

Enjoy your day people !!!!!!

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** Running Log **

2 laps= about 8 km= 65 minutes

In the spirit of share n share alike, golfman has passed on to me his virus lol so, siksa giler nak cuba maintain optimal breathing thru my run this morning. at my age nak keep the stamina going kena banyak control breathing... skejap tersumbat skejap tak, nak tercekik rasanya lol

Tapi masih best giler (mengikut piawai org2 'matang' laa of course.. ahakz) !!!

Sunflower seeds

I've been having this sick sunflower seed addiction for over a year now.... i say 'sick' because even when i know i'll end up with a sore & swollen throat, i just devour packs and packs anyway..... once i start i cant seem to stop. aarghhhh !! its almost a hypnotical thing, kreek goes the husk and in goes the small crispy tasty morsel. and it goes on and on and on and on. i've quit telling myself to stop coz i know i wont !!! *sigh* tahan je lah sakit tekak ni.

Golfman's down with flu so he's home melingkar depan tv ditemani oleh @ 15 (and dont anyone dare change the channel unless they're ready to face the wrath of mr grumpy mumpy). me thinks some people are sooo lucky to have their 'away day' really away.... at shangrila bangkok somemore but then also want to complain maa !!! tsk tsk tsk... tak bersyukur betui ;) for public servants like moi tak payah laaa nak mimpi pun lol seems that they had discussions till the wee hours of the morning. hmpphh..... discussions ke ape ke ?!!? maklum laa kat sana 'rimau' shows pun in abundance kan heheh tapi last day sempat gak main golf nampaknya, flu flu pun ekk !!! hehehe... thats my golf nut for ya !!!!

Oh btw, i was wearing my red kebaya to work today and i thought it would be fun to post a pic of the ole faithful. so out came the family's one and only, much used & oft abused, camera (the one that the whole brood shares lol)

i swear my redkebaya glares acccusingly at me (even from the dark confines of my non too tidy wardrobe) everytime i start slacking or get lazy lol slave driver !!!! so i try to stay off my butt as much as i can but i put my foot down on fridays.... its my day of rest :)

Yay

Golfman's home .......

HAPPY

HAPPY

JOY

JOY

:)

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** Treadmill Log **

Time: 45 mins
Incline: 1 - 2
Speed: 7 - 8
Distance: 5.3 km
Calories burned: 350 kj

* sweating it out to a motley mix of: linkin park, muse, pink, 3 doors down, techno instrumentals, incubus, system of a down....

Innervision

I have a home
Longing to roam
I have to find you
I have to meet you
Signs of your face
Slowing your pace
I need your guidance
I need to seek my inner vision
Inner Vision.

My pupils dance
Lost in a trance
Your sacred silence
Losing all violence
Stars in their place
Mirror your face
I have to find you
I need to seek my inner vision
Inner vision, inner vision.

It's never too late to reinvent the bicycle
[ i still cant figure that part out lol]
A smile brings forth energy or life
Giving you force.
It's never too late to reinvent the bicyclcle
A smile brings forth energy or life
Giving you force.
Vision
Inner vision, inner vision, inner vision
Inner vision, inner vision.
Your sacred silence
Losing all violence.

Mental health

People tend to shy away from the subject. first thing that comes to mind is gila, mereng, nutcase, schizo..... but the state of our mental health is affected by a broad spectrum of conditions (read on). these days with the pressures of modern living and our 'cat eat cat doggie eat dog' world, many are trudging along in quiet desperation and some even slip & slide to the very edge of depression.

My eldest son has ADHD - attention deficit hyperactive disorder (he was also born with vsd aka hole-in-the-heart but we had it corrected when he was still a baby). in layman terms he is clinically hyperactive . alaaa... jenis yg berlari2 tak leh duduk diam tu xcept for him it was much much more. its quite normal for boys to act hyper but once it encroaches into the areas of their school performance, social life and personal growth, its probably more than just high spirits. it'll be a good idea to start monitoring the kid just in case he/she falls into that category because the going will get tougher. ADHD is something that you might not grow out of... more often than not one carries it into adulthood, like my son. back in the 80's it was almost unheard of here but people overseas were already having special programmes and such. kat sana it has even reached the point of abuse - and ramai yg gunakan ADHD as an excuse for bad parenting !!

Of course he doesnt run around like a mad camper anymore lol but his mind's still at full speed behind that calm exterior... he still has to actively fight sudden impulses since he doesnt possess that 'hey hold on a minute' switch to fall back to, still has to make sure boredom doesnt hit him 5 minutes into any new venture and still has to seek that inner strength when things start to get a little too overwhelming. its almost a daily battle but for now, we believe we have gotten over the worse.... back in his early teens, when the superhormones clashed head on with his adhd tendencies and he was desperate for acceptance, he admitted to seriously contemplating suicide. nauzubillah. even though he knew we were always there for him, there comes a time in a lad's life when he needs more than the unconditional love & acceptance of the family. its been an xtremely 'colourful' journey so far and if nothing else, it still holds the promise of continuing to be an interesting one.

Pls Lord bless this family and all others.

I'm reminded of the 'trying times' that has befallen my immediate neighbour. Almost 3 years ago, out of the blue their daughter was struck with hysteria. unfortunately, it has now sort of developed into schizophrenia. takde ribut takde hujan tiba2 saja and it couldnt have happened to a more stable & waraq family. they are the kind of people who welcomes anyone to their home for their monthly usrah & quranic reading sessions.

I remember her as this sweet, easy going girl. who would've thought that a simple college expedition could trigger such a horrific nightmare? there are times when all is quiet but there are also periods of time where she'll start screaming & singing at the top of her lungs. my heart aches for her everytime she goes thru that phase. incidentally, it also marks the time AI would con us into sleeping with him lol (or he with us) because his bedroom overlook hers and i guess the noise can get rather disturbing at times, especially when its the middle of the nite. still, compared to the suffering of her family & siblings, its a small inconvenience. how their home must be a pressure pot sometimes.

Makes me think of 'beautiful mind'. i digress but i've always thought that genius bordered close to madness. its a fine thin line and the possibility of crossing over is so great. i mean the power of the mind is limitless and if unleashed completely, i dont think one can really handle all that brain power. klu tak berhati2 nikmat yang Allah beri kekadang tak terbawa dek manusia. blessed is the person who finds the key to balance & harmony.

Ku panjatkan doa pada MU ... semoga KAU rahmati & berkatilah kehidupan kami semua.

------------------------------------------------------------

Abe oh abe, just one more day ... izinkan aku melayan kepoyoran ku heheh.

Ingin ku pandang wajahmu
Di setiap ketika
Tiada jemu biarpun terluka
Ingin dibelai selalu
Bagaikan waktu dulu
Rasa bahagia dalam dakapanmu

Ku rindu
Wajah dan senyumanmu
Memberikan cahaya
Di dalam setiap mimpi-mimpiku
Kau pergi
Membawa hati ini
Tinggalkan ku sendiri
Dalam sepi

Lafazkan cinta dari bibirmu
Ingin ku dengar sekali lagi
Lafazkan dari hati tulus dan suci
Serahkan cinta abadi
Oh bisikan rindu nada nan syahdu
Pintaku yang terakhir darimu
Pintaku hanya satu
Usah kau berlalu

* as crooned by dayang nurlatiffa.. eh eh, nurfaizah ;)

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** Running Update **

1 lap= about 4 km= 30 mins

I'm not handling the heat very well. its never this hardgoing in the mornings. anyhoo i did complete my routine but just thinking about an xtra lap made me want to bawl my head off lol it must be the age factor. plus the external heat combined with the internal heat to make me feel like a mobile furnace... ughhh.

It was an ok run but on days like this i'm starting to doubt my ability to finish the 7 km at putrajaya within the given time. oohh i would so love to have that cert hanging on my bedroom wall lol !!!!!

Madhouse

Alhamdulillah !!! nothing beats eating when you're really really hungry. one gets to savour & appreciate each and every mouthful. The Prophet sure knew what he was preachin' ;) didnt have time for lunch so right now ini laa yg org kata kenyang perut senang hati lol tra la la la la...

It was a madhouse at the office. on top of the 1001 things i had to get done or else, there was also this particular meeting that went on and on and on, right into lunch and after !!! projects involving the istana can get rather tedious & intricate. in the end i had to face 2 rather disgruntled kids (hari ni panas & berjerebu plak tu... something's burning again with the indons me thinks). on normal days, the distance between home, school and office is manageable enough for me to cart the kiddos back & forth with relative ease. in fact taking a van to school takes longer sebab the van route berbelit2 & berputar2 (we timed it once). works out quite alright xcept for days like this which actually is quite a rare occurrence.

Just going to sort out some mail and we'll be hitting the shah alam mall next. AH has kumon sessions there on tuesday & friday nites. which means her bro has an excuse to just meander around, poking his nose into the nooks & cranies. we call AI 'mat mall' bcoz the guy just loves shopping complexes !!!! weekend je ajak ke klcc laa, midvalley laa, berjaya laa (kesian gak sebab mama dia kureng minat shopping, gives her a headache) ntah kuah mana yang tumpah ntah lol.

Too pooped to run today. i'm not allowing myself to feel any sort of guilt. malam2 nanti nak habiskan the half blood prince and going to just snuggle in with the kids.

Miss you

Golfman's away and around here everyone knows mama gets a little 'weng' (meaning: melalut, jittery, spacey) in his absence. i miss the guy... even if he's not home all that much to begin with (being the workaholic/golfaholic that he is) he's my rock, he grounds me.

Makes me thankful i never followed my mom's footsteps in marrying a soldier even though opportunity abound (people get hitched pretty easily in isolated army camps... yg tak lawa pun nampak macam lawa lol) imagine yours truly having to deal with long absences when the other half kena masuk hutan. bleh jadi cuckoo kot ;) still, i'm sure we all adapt when we need to.

*sigh* masih windu :(

I better go do some running.

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** Running Update **

1 lap= about 4 km= 25 minutes

It was xtremely hardgoing today. i started quite late (6.35 pm) and had AH to pick up by 7.00 pm. 25 mins... and for a good, steady run round the tasik i needed at least 30. yea, 5 mins dont normally make that much of a difference but for me it meant a pressure run instead of my routine!!! aduh, not only did i have to cut corners (no warming up or cooling down) i had to give it all i got !! and the energy zapping heat didnt help either.

Almost pancit i tell ya !! but at least tonite i'll be sleeeping like a log. heh.