Allergy

Balik kerja semalam terus masuk dapur capai my faithful old wok. give me a wok and i'll be happy, tak payah periuk2 canggih pun takpe (tapi kalau ada lagi la bagus kan heheh). when the kids were younger, and our vacations were usually at apartments where cooking was permissible, 'have wok will travel' was my mantra lol.

Anyways where was i? oh ok, balik rumah je dengan penuh semangatnye masuk dapur nak masak la untuk cek abe. one of my adik2 kat ofis suka sangat memancing (dan aktiviti yang 'sewaktu' dengannya) and kerana terlalu kerap maka terjadilah lebihan supply. kali ni it was udang galah... i jumped at the opportunity of helping him 'get rid' of it hehehe. banyak la jugak for RM15, dapat la dua kali masak. so kelentung kelentang siap la masak lemak udang galah, sambal sotong petai n daging goreng.

Cik Abe isnt back untuk bercuti so balik2 terus masuk kerja. tak sangka pulak first day dah kena overtime.. tunggu punya tunggu akhirnya terpaksa la makan dulu sbb sidaro "perut dah berlubang la mama" (her words exactly lol). bila abah dia eventually balik n ready for makan kami mengadap je la just to temankan dia sambil pok pek pok pek of course. such a peaceful domestic picture kan and who would've thought he would be suffering come morning?

Rupanya bila meningkat umur ni badan kita turut berubah in a myriad of mysterious ways. selama ni dah berkilo kilo udang yang di digest tetiba dah nak masuk 50 ni timbul lak allergy udang!!!! tengah malam buta (around 3 am) i woke up to his thrashing and turning in bed... dok garu2 macam our little zoo friend yang satu tu hehe. bila tenguk betul2 baru nampak yang his underlip pun macam bengkak2 skit and slight rash over most parts of his body. of course my first thought pegi clinic tapi dia tak nak. lebih rela bergaru sbb penat sangat. many garu mengaru moments later akhirnya dapat gak la sambung tido... tapi groggy sampai la kini.

So take notice, our body goes thru these changes all the time tak kira bila. kena la sentiasa peka n prihatin especially bila dah semakin senja.


Workout Log.
*sigh* still on a running break.... weekend ni la kot.

New bosses

When u've reached the level of 'senior' whatever, its usually an indication that u've been doing whatever it is u do long enough lol. u've probably seen people come n go like the tide, beating away at the sands, changing its contours but never really making any damn difference in the long run.

But its fun observing this stream of people coming n going... macam2 jenis, rupa dan ragam. its especially interesting when it comes to this breed that we call 'boss(es)'. theres just no end to the types of management styles employed and the creativity (or absurdity) involved in its implementation. its like those times when u get this 'rajin' attacks and start moving the furniture around. to start with its all the same old furniture... n the same old limited space. but u have this burst of inspiration and after some huffing n puffing, walllaaaa... the place has a refreshingly different look n feel about it. u then spend the next couple of weeks or maybe even months satisfied with the change. that is UNTIL you get that itch again... and again... and again, and before you know it ur back where u started!!! pusing kot tu pusing kot ni if the resources remain the same akhirnya sama gak.

So macam2 la cara dan method kerja yang telah di implementasi di pejabat ni namun akhirnya hasil nya tidak la sehebat mana. except that NOW keadaan memang berbeza sikit dari biasa.... from just 3 QS utk handle segala macam projek dan karenah di selangor ni dah bertambah menjadi 5, so maybe this time we can finally expect to see some improvement. tapi tu pun kalau present management bijak utilize and maximise pertambahan tersebut. kita tunggu dan lihat... apapun, bagi yang dah lama (read:berkulat) disini, kena la pandai2 sesuaikan diri n going with the flow is usually the name of the game.

Lunchbreak was a bz bz time indeed. vrooom ke kompleks pkns to bank in the boys' weekly allowance, vrooom ke TM to pay off the monthly utilities... and yes, also cukai pintu. surprise, suprise, i was able to settle my cukai pintu MBSA at TM. talk about being consumer friendly ya (its almost end of august so have u settled yours yet?). and last but not least, a short visit to the vet bcos today nico's eye stitches (the one involving his 3rd eyelid) comes off. seriau jugak tenguk tapi it was a very quick n i suppose painless procedure sbb si nico tu senyap je. now the hole caused by the ulcer dah covered up (tho it still looks pretty damn messy to me ... ugghh) and with his eye meds the healing process should continue without a hitch (i dearly hope so). tak larat rasanya nak ngadap cleaning his eyes bebanyak kali sehari tapi what to do... sayang punya pasal!!

AH's pretty excited about her spanking new katil. tenguk ah mesti cari excuse je nak duduk dalam bilik tu nanti... anak daro pingitan la katakan hehehe. i know you prefer your own room sayang tapi ni je la yang termampu buat masa ni... n thank you for being such a good sport about EVERYTHING mwaaaaaaah.

Oh and yes, not forgetting an important part of the day... i also get to be a 'luurving' wife again. nak masak apa ek balik keje ni? hehe :)

The other half.

HE's BACK .... enough said ;)

Dependables

Its tough when you always hafta be the strong one.... regardless of whether ur actually up to it or not. you know that question we often find ourselves asking "why was i put on this earth oh lord"? well for me its probably to serve as the human version of the 'big ben' hehehe... always there rain or shine; big, strong, dependable (and also frequently taken for granted).

It was a flurry of activity:
..make sure mak's comfortable, relatively happy, n taken all her meds.
..make sure AH's also comfortable, relatively happy n taken all her meds.
..make sure the cat is fed, walked and taken all his meds (yea semenjak surgery n subsequent perintah berkurung by the vet i've been taking him outside on a leash for his nature calls).
..make sure AF is up on time, packed and ready to be send off to t. malim (with his dad back i would be needing my avanza)
..make sure the home is spic n span for the arrival of HRH Abe aka golfman.

Thought everything was accounted for when we left for t. malim but nooooo.... AF still had to get some struff at tesco. was quite stressed knowing mak is now very susceptible to anxiety attacks when left alone towards petang n malam..... so lucky thing walaupun petang baru bertolak, we were already back home by maghrib.

Loteh den..... tp HAPPY.... esok cik Abe ku saye balik :)

Workout Log
1 hr aerobics @ dataran shah alam... good high intensity session almost equivalent to non stop jogging. and thank god it didnt rain like it did last week.

First bed

Been out with si daro the whole week hunting for a bed - her 1st ever!!! yup growing up she's been sharing either opah's queen size bed or in her father's absence, mine. sidaro ni shares a room with opah mainly bcos her grandma is scared of sleeping in the room thats been designated for her downstairs. when we renovated the house a couple of years ago, i extended the room downstairs to suit mak's needs (bilik air sebelah, dapur dekat, terrace just outside) and also to make sure she didnt have to climb anymore staircases. unfortunately her fertile imagination kept conjuring up desperate men who were forever waiting to break in and pounce on her/us. forget about the grill or any other security measures that i've taken lol. apa nak buat orang tua2 camtu la. i'm thinking when her aches n pains overide the fear she will finally appreciate the room downstairs... till then AH will just hafta share.

So pusing2 shah alam, she fell in love with a metal bed in ..... guess where? hehe, shah alam mall seksyen 9, belakang rumah je. but before i could put in an order i had to make sure the room was ready for the bed - that meant switching the queen size bed with the single bed downstairs n rearranging the existing furniture to now accomodate 2 twin beds. no way could i do all that alone; there are times when we need a helping hand and this is one of them lol. thank god mak's nephew turned up as promised n together we managed to dismantle n reassemble mak's old bed in no time at all. and he carried the existing single bed upstairs quite effortlessly. aahh to have a handyman in the house.... beres je keje no problem.

In between all that activity my brother dropped by to show off his new baby. ooooh cute giler.... baru dalam 50 hari je n baik sangat. but cute baby or not mak pah still had to come up with lunch so apa lagi kelam kelibut la masuk dapur.... tapi sesak2 pun sempat jugak la makan by 1.30pm :) sorry guyz tersibuk plak dengan kes tukar menukar katil. trpaksa kena settle sebab dah ada imported handyman. apa2pun after lunch puas jugak la main2 ngan baby cyahir n kak bree. ish rindu plak kat bebudak tu.

After cepul left it was back to clearing up the rooms in ernest. tolak console keluar tolak study table masuk n a dusty hour later baru la ada rupa bilik 'Da Daros' hehehe (dara tua n dara muda). And after parting with only RM271 echa's dream bed will be installed tuesday at the very latest. kenapa lambat sangat?! bcos 1.they dont deliver on sundays n 2.monday's delivery schedule dah full... so since daro dah berkenan sangat kena la bersabor. btw katil pun tak dapat lagi tp comforter n bedsheet set (akemi) dah pun beli... kebetulan ada sale kat living quarters n sidaro terjumpa plak design ala2 nippon @ 80% off. apa lagi rembat je la :)

Seronok punya pasal demam pun trlupa.... daro oh daro!!

Workout Log
1 big lap (4K) plus 1 mini lap (1K)= 5K .. and i took my own (sweet) time lol
Alhamdulillah pagi2 sebelum bermula segala macam madness sempat gak la moi round tasik. kasi tekan skit sebab dah lama tak lari (last was 4K on tuesday morning).

Tumbang

They say when its durian season (eh sekarang ni bukan ke durian dah tak ikut musim?) then its also 'demam' season.

Started out with my eldest who's in UPSI tanjong malim, then my 2nd who's in UiTM alor gajah and now my youngest who's at home..... semua tgh in various stages of 'demam'. nak kata berjangkit, semuanya duduk berasingan, jauh plak tu. so it must be true, mmg tgh musim demam.

Semalam masa balik sekolah dari jauh dah nampak kemoyokkan yg amat terserlah pd wajah si daro. ingat ke pergeselan personaliti (read: PMS), or ketidakpuasan hati dgn pentadbiran sekolah (read: rebel) or percanggahan pendapat (read: gaduh)... rupa2nya non of the above tapi demam. bila disentuh terasa berbahang sampai terpanggil jugak la mama ni utk terus ke klinik tanpa berlengah2. she should've just called me to pick her up early but i have to respect her decision to finish off the day. after the good doc reassured her that it wasnt anything terminal (form 3 science syllabus pasal the body n diseases has somehow made her a little paranoid about her health) , she headed straight for bed and slept till maghrib!!!! cian baby mama penat giler.

Weell, she's pretty worried about her PMR trials which starts on thursday, less than a week from now but i'm thinking, better now than later. more importantly, she stays healthy in september :)

Mak n nico, my 2 'invalids', seem to be progressing well. at least i can focus on AH who is now holding the 'most needy' title. in this family, age (senior or junior) or status (sulung or bongsu) dont really count when it comes to getting immediate attention & TLC..... yg di dulukan adalah yg paling memerlukan at any one time. kalau yg bongsu je yg asyik dapat attention ngamuk pulak abang2.... so kena la tentukan siapa yg paling memerlukan dan orang tu la yg akan di dulukan :)

Aaaahhh... TGIF. soo much to do, so very little time.

Woo hooo

With the new puter comes another unexpected pleasure..... somehow these new breeds manage to navigate their way around the internet restrictions put up by the ICT administrator/moderator (or whatever they're called)!!! hehe i get to blog again first thing before work. now how cool is that :)

Semenjak jaga mak i've sorta put aside my running, leaving my schedule in a state of sorry neglect. nak kata tak lari langsung tak la tp as p.ramlee is often quoted... kadang2, jarang2 etc. now i'm giving myself till the end of the week to adjust to working again then its back to squeezing at least a 3K first thing in the morning. takes a little planning but well worth the effort. sekarang ni nak solat pun agak mengah sheesh. tp yelah... umur pun semakin meningkat so kena get real :)

Slept kinda late last nite (to be honest mmg selalu tido lambat pun hehe... penyakit nite person, pagi plak blur giler). elok mak dah nak beransur pulih, my tomcat si nicolei plak buat hal. a couple of weeks ago he had eye infection. as usual moi brought him to the veterinary clinic in seksyen 15, n gave him his meds n drops diligently as instructed. lepas seminggu dok mcm tu jugak so bawa lagi, same thing, tukar eye cream plak. it got even worse after another week n when i saw them yet again, they suddenly inform me nico dah kena eye ulcer. quite serious and i needed to take him to the head office (or maybe head clinic is more appropriate kot) near upm bangi. weh bangi..... i got to thinking jauh tu n i didnt like leaving mak home alone for too long. so i decided to take him to a nearer (and not so outrageously expensive) vet in seksyen 13, tadisma business centre. the vet was actually recommended to me by the jabatan haiwan personnel themselves bcos of an ongoing dicounted rate for neutering cats.

I liked the place the first instant i set foot there.... n the young people in charge were not only passionate about their work, but warm & friendly as well. upon examination they recomended surgery for nico in an effort to save his eye. seems that cats have a 3rd eyelid and by pulling it across the ulcered eye for a certain period of time, it would encourage the distribution of nutrient over the the damaged area and hopefully mend it. yeah sounds kinda complicated... i have till the 6th to see if it works or not; thats when they take out the stitches to expose the actual eye.

So, in the end, moi is left with taking care of 2 'invalids' recovering from surgery lol. nico was ordered 2 weeks rest (read: kena kurung) and mak plak setiap kali nico showed any sign of distress dia jadi lagi distress. *sigh* jenuh jugak la nak handle.... kekadang pening dibuatnya. so back to last nite.... si nico tu tetiba demam plak n the whole of yesterday tak mengiau, tak makan, tak minum, tido je. mak dah mula pusing2 tak keruan expecting the worse "dah nak mati ke kucing tu?" that sort of thing. and me, i will always hold on fast to something the vet once said to me, "saya tak setuju kalau owner cakap kat saya kucing dia sakit, tak nak makan tak nak minum... sbb kita tak boleh biarkan aje, kena la usahakan, force feed if necessary". so mmg i take time to sumbatkan air dengan syringe every so often... n feed a concoction of gooey cornflour paste mixed with grinded cat biscuits. that was what kept me up late last nite.... tending n feeding a sick manja tomcat lol.

Alhamdulillah he's so much better this morning.... and could be heard meowing away wanting to get out of the house as usual. nasib baik sempat punch in work bcos kesian punya pasal i took him outside on a leash just so he could stretch his legs n smell the morning air. kita pun kalau kena kurung dah nak masuk 2 minggu giler jugak dibuatnya ni kan pulak a horny tomcat hehehe. oh n btw, i got him neutered as well... senang sekali bius dapat selesaikan 2 masalah sekaligus. didnt want it done too early sbb biarlah dia dapat panjangkan generasi dia dulu. but after almost 2 years i think nico has sired enough furry monsters to make sure theres a continuation of the species :)

Ok time for work.

Back to work

A couple of 'pejam celiks' and its 2 months already?!!! sheesh cepat giler masa berlalu.... at this rate, next thing i know rambut dah beruban semua, gigi dah rongak belaka hehehe!!!!

Its with mixed feelings that i leave for work this morning. glad to be amongst workmates tackling problems & paperwork, feeling myself part of the movers & shakers of this nation again (tak kisah la that the moving n shaking isnt all that much... but at least the input is still there kan). but on the other hand, hati ni bimbang & gundah leaving mak alone at home to fend for herself. the boys are back in college, AH has school in the mornings and i can only peek in during my coffee break (alhamdulillah my office is just 10 mins drive so jenguk-menjenguk isnt much of a problem). still, she's so much better now especially after making up her mind to STOP chemo completely. seems like a burden's been lifted from her shoulders (personally i think she should at least attempt another session or two just to make sure its as bad as the first time but well... mana boleh nak paksa2. not with mak anyway).

Once at the office rupanya i had a surprise waiting for me.... a most pleasant surprise indeed. who would have thought that in my absence, there were still people around who were caring & concerned enough to 1. realise just how totally ancient my computer was and 2. replace it with a brand new spanking HP!!!!!! wooo hoooo.... darleeengs thank you so much from the bottom of my heart mwaaaaah3x.

So... till the next post (which would be tomorrow god willing hehe) heres moi signing off from my oh so new n shiny puter :)

Its been AGES

"Dah give up on RedKebaya ke?" someone asked me and i suddenly realised it really has been AGES since i last put in an entry!!!!!!!!!!

Well what can i say, life has a way of suddenly making certain priorities your entire focus sometimes. its as if everything else is put on hold and day in, day out you are completely absorbed by it.

For me its my mom..... after a very long deliberation and delay on her part, she finally agreed to having a mastectomy done end of may. alhamdulillah the surgery went well and i was happy to see her bouncing back so rapidly. she seem quite content with her lot in life. unfortunately chemotherapy is a totally different ball game and seem to be undoing the previous progress. since undergoing treatment 3 weeks ago mak has become quite weak n more than a little depressed. i wont go into details but suffice to say her recovery is very very slow.

I have taken 2 months off work just to be there for her.... at least some peace of mind that her needs will be met without questions asked. i'm all she has actually, for better for worse and sometimes i think she has the shorter end of the bargain poor soul. the price you pay for having only one child i guess.... kalau ada yang tak kena kena telan la juga. takde pilihan lain nak wat camane.

In a couple of days she will be facing her 2nd chemo..... and already she is talking of giving it a skip. she's definitely not very receptive to the idea of nausea, nausea and more nausea; and to a world that doesnt seem to stop spinning. in all honesty, i cant say i blame her.

Mak is not someone you can push around, she does what she wants and dont anyone say otherwise. and i am not someone who makes decision for others.... so we'll just see how the wind blows.

PC induced headache

Sheeesh... who would have guessed, dah lama sangat tak berkampung depan puter sampai boleh sakit kepala plak!!!!!!! yup, after surfing, chatting n surfing summore i ended up going to bed with a splitting headache. the kind i get when i succumb to the godaan of nescafe. mabuk, high, berpinar, senget dunia, segala macam la heh. tapi takpe, i miss my friends and all my fav hang out places.

Part of that world is of course the blogging circle. dah lama amat dah rasanye tak menjenguk dunia rakan2 blogger. for people like me, who hardly have a social life to call their own, its a great way of interacting with interesting characters... and sometimes they turn out to actually be people you know lol.

Today, i'm left totally to my own devices. since it was raining from subuh i had to abandon all thoughts of running (osso to be honest ada gak terasa perasaan malas yang menular skit2 hehe). lagipun pepagi lagi i needed to send sidaro ke sekolah walaupun today's a public hol... something about sessi ramah mesra pengawas. then it was mak's turn - to the state mosque for her usual POP (persatuan orang2 pencen) session. after that it was the MIL's place, i'd been so busy lately i hadnt had the chance to tunjuk batang hidung for at least a whole week (mesti kena leter nih). anyway tak dapat tenguk anak tenguk mak dia pun jadi la kan ;)

When i got back i found out that mak had another occasion lined up at 2.30pm - doa selamat n ceramah agama at the house of her perkumpulan wanita friends. sidaro masih tak balik bcos she had her KH folio to complete and she was doing that with a friend right after her pengawas thingy. Sibuk skit sidaro tu this year, macam2 even on weekends, maklum la nak PMR. last saturday dia, 5 other classmates n her english teacher pegi ke central market buat survey something or other, this saturday plak ada camp hafazan n qiyamulail.. she'll be staying overnite at the state mosque (silap2 anak nye seronok sakan ngan kenkawan tapi mak nye tak lelap tido sengsorang hik hik)

Hmmmm.... macam ni rasa nye jadi penunggu rumah ek!!


*Berita Caspian*
Its almost a week since Abe moved to the new apartment. tak dapat gak la kita ni nak merasa buah epal hijau fresh from the backyard of the previous house... baru berangan nak pegi dah pun pindah!! anyway the move is probably a good one for him since its an expat area n ramai gak org malaysia lain kat situ. i fear the rusky influence n the 'kay-gay-beh'.. mana la tau kan. since the weather has improved they've started their soccer games and belum apa2 lagi Abe dah terseliuh lutut!!! tu la degil, mesti tak warm up cukup2 tu, sesuaikan la dgn umur cek abe ku saye hehehe!!! seems that today's also a big day kat sana.... a VIOM (very important orang minyak) is paying a visit to the other org2 minyak kat sana and nampaknye tonite's dinner will be very berminyak2 indeed lol

Abe - glad ur enjoying the kelate version of pencinta wanita... "ambo meme giler ore tino" ekekeh!!! luvya :)


Workout Log:
Running break because of the ... ughh... rain!!

Tersekat-sekat

So far i havent been doing any consistent running this year. pejam celik pejam celik dah pun nak masuk mei..... and here i am still struggling to set up some semblance of a workable n do-able schedule. betul la org kata bila dah tua2 nih time really REALLY flies!!!!!

I cannot deny that age does make a difference to the level of kesungguhan a person has on keeping fit n active. most of the makciks at my office admits to it. i call it the 'penat factor'... memang cepat penat when compared to the previous years. maybe it has to do with depleting hormonal levels or probably the slowly but surely advancing premenopausal n menopausal stages. apa2pun memang senang nak pancit and for me the worse thing to deal with is the heat. kalau lari masa panas? huh.... jawabnye nanti terkulai layu ler n by the end of the day tak guna satu sen pun. thats part of the reason why i try my best to run just before work every morning... even if it means having to go into high gear so early in the day... and even if it means that moi has to 'mandi bedak' je when i start work (i only get the chance to shower during lunchbreak). nasib laa kontraktor ke sesaper ke yang datang bertandang awal pagi tu heheh.

I dunno how long i'll be able to keep going like this but as long as i am able to, i'll keep pounding away at the pavement/grass/tar whatever. its a great feeling... when ur huffing and puffing and feeling the blood rushing thru ur veins, u cant help feeling bersyukur for the nikmat of being alive.

Workout Log:
3K in the morning

A puter that sorta works

Change of plans.... instead of getting a new home puter, abe wants to set up everyone with their own laptops!!!! great news eh... but like most 'grand' schemes that comes hand in hand with limited resources, it will have to be done in stages. and since AF's fujitsu took a nosedive right before his finals, he's been given top priority although AI will be next with his wounded acer (mind you a cracked hinge looks pretty ghastly but it doesnt really affect much of its functions). now AH... much to the disgust of her brothers (who had to wait till they got into college), all she needs to do is come up with 8As for her PMR and she'll be getting one herself.

So daddy says.

But what about mummy then daddy dear.... huh huh huh?

I'd probably end up with AF's old fujitsu anyway...... which, since the arrival of his new dell, has been unceremoniously dumped at home. but it has suprisingly decided not to leave the land of the living just yet and seems to be working quite fine..... albeit some funny whirring noises and blinks of light once in a while. *sigh* tak kisah ler..... asalkan connected akan bahagia :)

And at least i got AF to wipe out all traces of his ubuntu and install instead the all familiar microsoft windows. no ubuntu for me thank you very much (ubuntu buat otak ku buntu ekekeh).. familiarity doesnt always breed contempt you know :)


Workout Log:
2km just before work

Feeling edgy

I blame it on the rain. yup if the weather had held than we would have continued to the very end....

And i wouldnt still be feeling as edgy as i am right now.

Sunday mornings and its aerobics at the dataran as usual. AH & i were unusually early (AH usually takes her time getting ready in the mornings... liat nak tinggalkan the warmth of bed lol) and when i saw that all 3 instructors were present (they sometimes just alternate) i knew we were going to have a great session.

Sure enough it took off at an energetic pace and the crowd were pretty enthusiastic. we were jumping about like hyper kids and was peaking when suddenly..... it rained!!!!! yup, much to our dismay, it suddenly just poured. alas, the timing was absolutely horrible because like i said we were hitting the peak of the workout, pulses racing, adrenaline pumping, totally charged up.... and to suddenly hit a dead stop!! almost everyone terpinga-pinga dibuatnya.

Imagine sneaking a quickie in the late afternoon and just when things are about to explode, theres that unexpected loud rapping at the door and one of the kids insist that you look at something or other!!!

That should just about cover the feeling... not such a good state to be in i can tell ya!!

Its better now but it just goes to show how important it is to go thru the paces and cool down. i guess like most things there has to be some sort of closure.

Getting back into the groove

Been trying hard to get back to where i left off. its so easy to fall back when its about staying fit.... but between keeping to my regular running schedule and spending that extra time with my man in the mornings, of course it has to be him, no contest. but then i'm on my own again and with AH in morning school i havent much excuse to be staying on my butt. when she's not late (which can be quite often) i have enough time to squeeze in a 3K run but from what i've gone thru so far, its usually just a 2K run that i can comfortably come up with if i want to make it to work on time.

Even tho its a far cry from the 3-4K i was doing before i guess its better than nothing.

I managed 2K's on tuesday, thursday & friday and 4K this morning. sure hope to build up a more consistent running schedule because its still somewhere at the top of my 'feel good' list.

Another countdown

Its that time again....

Has it been almost a month already? 25/02/07 to 25/03/07... and it feels like a blink of an eye. come sunday and i'll be missing my other half.

Till the next trip home.

Such is life

Life is never static. it doesnt wait for you to be ready, or give u any assurances when ur unsure..... it just goes on and on and on. thats life. and u, u gotta hang on... regardless. either u pick yourself up or lay there in the pits until you die, eventually.

We need to get this across to our kids as soon as is possible. the fact that we need to be strong of faith, that we need to churn out our own sunshine no matter what, that we need to be realistic. no not fatalistic but realistic. and therein lies the challenge.... finding the equilibrium between the two... because especially with the young & inexperienced, realistic can turn to fatalistic at the snap of a finger. one must be strong of mind & spirit to be 'aware', to go through life with eyes 'wide open', melakukan sesuatu dalam keadaan yang sedar & peka... because having the consequences of your actions stare you right in the face is pretty daunting. but if we want to go thru life with some semblance of peace thats exactly what we need to do. tiada selindung2, no pretense either... buat lah apa saja asalkan berani hadapi setiap yang mendatang head on. also, whats that oft used word again? jatidiri? yea thats it... bila tersilap, bermasalah... maka jangan dwell lama2... harus la face facts and after that, let go and move on. tak boleh la sikit sikit kecewa, sikit sikit give up. perjalanan hidup masih jauh... again, especially for the young uns. kita yg dah meniti senja ni pun masih kecundang bila di duga terutama bila ia datang bertalu2. we need to have the strength to continuously pick up the pieces and that takes a lot of resolve.

Namun do we actually have much choice in the matter? i dont think so....

Ready or not life moves on as it always does.... so we better be ready. as ready as we ever will be.

Blogey oh blogey

I miss unloading to my blog every morning before work. it feels like i'm starting the day with less focus and loaded with unnecessary baggage aka perkara2 yg terbuku di dada. *sigh* wish the administrators didnt have to limit access to the net. wish i'd gotten the matter of the home puter settled eons ago. wish i had a more aggressive attitude towards solving my problems. yeah, its not just the puter, theres also the matter of the broken down aircond. its been leaking for months and i cant begin to count the number of times i've had to throw away those pails and pails of collected aircond 'water' lol. now it has progressed one step further..... it has refused to respond thru the remote and no, its not the batteries cos i've checked. so we still managed to get it going by switching to manual but now it's just blowing out air. as in an air blower and nothing with conditioning and cooling the air.

Hmmm.... i must get someone over to fix it, yes i must. but i've done nothing so far... and still doing nothing. its not about the money nor the 'leceh'ness of getting an aircond man over. *sigh* i dunno, its just weariness i suppose bcos we've had it fixed before, a couple of time in fact but still in the end i'm stuck with those pails and pails of water (yea i have this big unsightly red pail stationed permanently under said aircond unit). maybe its time we got ourselves a new unit? probably. in the meantime, its the fan in full blast and we stripped to the barest minimum. the heat is pretty unbearable these days. makes you sorta question about all the flooding we've been having. macam tak percaya plak with such drastic changes.

I never realised 2007 was going to start in such high high gear. so much work already and with just these pair of hands and single brain at my disposal. but come to think of it, its probly for the best bcos it helps in keeping me from pining for my man. my kids are starting to fully appreciate that old people still go thru the throes and agonies of 'loove'.... lol, the lovin' doesnt stop till the fat lady sings babes. but hey wait a minute, a lot of fat ladies sing well laa, so its not all that improbable now is it?!! so probly till pigs fly is more likely then lol.

Ahh this is what i mean about unloading my thoughts somewhere.. its just not as cluttered anymore and yeah, ringan skit rasa kepala ni. honestly, thats how it feels :) clutter, clutter, clutter... my ancient old brain's all cobwebby as it is. its feeels good to get rid of some.

AH was early today so i managed to squeeze in a 3k run this morning. now thats another feel good activity. i've been so busy lately my running has suffered but really, i'm not going to give in without a fight. lol the running stays!!!! but on the side, i dunno if its because of my increasing workload but i kinda feel i get pooped a lot easier & faster these days and not as energetic as last year. dare i blame the increasing years? is it really because i'm getting older or is it just an excuse i'm latching on to, like grabbing at straws? not that i'm not admitting to changes caused by age, like shrinking muscles, lost of tone blah blah blah i'm well aware of all that..... i just dont wanna use age as an excuse not to utilise my body to its fullest. gotta have more time to figure this one out tho. try out a couple of things before i can know for sure. but can one be really sure of anything? well, at least sure enough to be satisfied.

Ok enough time taken from work. we'll see if my new strategy of blogging works for me i.e. unload my thoughts to my redkebaya gmail addy every morning or whenever i feel the need, access the email whenever the kids are home with their laptops (or when i finally decide on which puter to buy), copy & paste the postings to my blog. it'll be updated in batches but its better than nothing i guess :)

Sheesh why cant i get this Full House tune outta my head. yea i think korean women are generally prettier than japanese (a personal opinion, no offense intended - just like i find body shop's spring orchid more pleasing to my senses than moonflower) while japanese actors are hotter. put 'em together and i guess the fireworks should be more spectacular. but whats with all these 'chaste' kissing from the koreans/japanese!?! its like watching 2 pursed lips being put together, takde feel langsung lol.

Yeah i feel good n life's great, syukur. and i dont need no valentines day to remind me of the ones i love. i love them every single day of the year and i make sure they have no doubts about that.

With every breath do i love thee :)

Rediscovering His Roots

Yup thats what he did when we took off on a short family vacation back to the east coast.

Golfman has never really been enthusiastic over the subject of balik kampung be it mine or his. but thats fine since both of us have made shah alam our 'kampung' anyway. Its been even more workable since our parents have also moved here. Years ago the hubby and his siblings (who are all working in Klang valley) had somehow convinced his parents to leave temangan and become city folks instead. together they bought an apartment for mek & cek and even after cek died mek is still staying there within easy reach of all her children. As for mak, she's been staying with me ever since i gave birth to my second child. so like i said there isnt much cause to be going back to kampung except perhaps to visit relatives once in a long while.

So you can imagine my surprise when he suggested going back to kelantan!! gawd, i've been trying to drag him there for ages. kelantan is a great place to visit... apart from his makciks, pakciks & cousins, i could also squeeze in a lot of cheap shopping sprees hehe. anyway without wasting any time i quickly applied for leave and rounded up the children, warning them to
be ready for anything. first of all it was the rainy season and since johor was already having floods, it was just a matter of time before it hits the east coast. next, even if it was right into the school hols we didnt believe in making reservations so we might very well just end up as backpackers. and to their credit the kids were very cool about everything. probably because they were bored out of their skull and cant wait to leave lol.

Abe was in a great mood all the time we were travelling and that certainly bode well for the trip, after all grumps was his second name. we took the gua musang route on our way down and made our way home via the coastal road. lucky for us the rain was manageable and according to the locals the possibility of flooding was still rather slim since it was raining intermittently and wasnt heavy either so it was quite a blessing for us since that made for really cool windy weather.

It certainly was a trip down memory lane for the hubby because we covered all his fav old joints and the places where he grew up.... home, school, park, the stretch of river where he'd once saved his younger brother from drowning, rail tracks, bendang, the office where he had his first job, his favourite nasi dage place, rumah sewa and loads others. coincidentally, we were also married in kelantan because back then my dad just happened to be the CO of the army camp there.... so memang banyak memories.

We've been back before but never as thorough as this so my theory is, the hubby, after travelling far & wide and becoming decidedly more jaded and cynical had
decided that before he lost sight of whats really important, it was time for him to
rediscover his roots and in the process, rediscover himself.

After 2 nites in KB and all that behind us, we we were all set were all set for the next phase of
our trip, a little beachcombing interlude. and where else if not at awana kijal?! there were
signs of swollen rivers as we crossed over from kelantan into trengganu but it still wasnt too
bad. while at awana we were blessed with sunny weather but the seas were a little too violent
for comfort. but we didnt really mind because the pool was good enough for us. whenever he's
around as chaperone the hubby has always encouraged me to swim so there i was donning on
my old swimsuit & tights along with my daughter. surprisingly, even the boys joined in. as
they grew older the boys had always avoided the pool but not this time, no excuses were cooked up. it certainly turned out to be a real 'family holiday'!!

Another 2 nites in awana and it was time to leave. the hubby had a game lined up sunday
morning but we couldnt ask for more because he had given his all during the short holiday together... yup, absolutely no golf whatsoever and that for him was a great 'sacrifice' indeed.

Mak didnt want to come along and even though i was worried i didnt want to force her. where she was concerned, she does what she wants. thank god she had my cousin stay over all the time we were gone otherwise i wouldnt have been able to enjoy myself as much as i did.

And after all thats been said and done, its still good to be back.

Snow in December

Guess where yours truly & kiddoes were freezin' our butts off this school hols?


Well........


Certainly not the US,


nor the UK,


or russia,


Neither was it turkmenistan.... after all tis no big deal to be having snow there in december.


BUT believe it or not, we were all frolicking about in the snow just beyond our back yard - at the 4 season house in Taman Cahaya Sri Alam, Bukit Cerakah. yeah it was still a lot of fun even if it was only man made snow lol

Week ending 17/12/06

YES... me darlin's home this weekend yay yay yippeee yay. ETA - KLIA, Saturday 12.15 pm :)

Forget the fact that i've been up to my nose with paperwork these past weeks and
forget also that the bosses as well as contractors have all conspired to hound me for payments and such. after years on the job, all the ruckus and madness that comes with the year's end doesnt affect me as much as it used to. yeah its an important time before they close the accounts for the year and you do the best you can to help out but pls, we need to be realistic about the whole thing.

if the other depts decide to take their own sweet time in preparing the documents but later expect us to check and approve the stuff at the snap of their fingers, well, they better think again. concede to the pressure and one's liable to end up in deep shite. when it comes to public money, better safe than sorry is what i say.

Its absolutely wonderful to have the man back where he belongs.... and even if i already foresee great missing chunks from my running schedule it just doesnt compare to being with my man lol

Weekly exercise log
Mon 11/12/06
- 4K morning run @ Tasik SA

Thurs 14/12/06
- 3K morning run @ Tasik SA

Week ending 10/12/06

Its a sad sad time for the family.

After weeks of being sick, despite frequent visits to the vet, chewy aka chewbaka OGB
passed on to that special place all animals go to when their time has come. i've been told more than once that cats usually go away to die, but not chewy...

He died on on mak's bed surrounded by all of us who loved him dearly. the kiddoes were quite stricken to see him nazak up till the moment he drew his last breath - 12.10 am, thursday 07/12/06. immediately after subuh, we buried him at the foot of the hill right in front of the house.

Chewy leaves behind cartloads of wonderful memories. Its just Nico now.... and right now, nico seems just as bereft as we are. but life goes on and the kiddoes are taking it not quite as badly as i had dreaded, thank god. death in any form is never easy but a life lesson nevertheless.

Weekly exercise log
Tues 05/12/06
- 30 mins aerobics @ SUK lobby

Sat 09/12/06
- 2 laps total 8K @ Tasik SA

Sun 10/12/06
- 30 mins aerobic @ Dataran SA followed by 4K @ Tasik SA

Week ending 03/12/06

It was a busy week.

How would you react when your friend's wife confides in you of her suspicions that he (your friend) is two timing her? Especially when you know in your hearts of hearts that he's the type
of person who could be capable of such a thing, and thus the absence of an immediate denial? How do you douse that sympathetic light from your gaze when you're telling her to give him the benefit of the doubt? And how do you deal with the loyalty bound by friendship to your friend and the sympathy you feel over the wife's plight?

*sigh* right now, this is certainly not a good place to be. infidelity kills a relationship, indiscretion maims it.

Weekly Exercise Log
Mon 27/11/06 - Rest

Tues 28/11/06 - 30 mins aerobics @ SUK lobby

Wed 29/11/06 - 2km easy run @ Seksyen 7 beaten down track (MBSA do something!!)

Thur 30/11/06 - Rest

Fri 01/12/06 - Rest, yet again

Sat 02/12/06 - 8 km run @ tasik SA track, hours of mindless walking @ pikom, klcc convention centre.

Sun 03/12/06 - 4 km run @ tasik SA.

Week ending 26/11/2006

I hate it that the PTB (powers that be) have suddenly decided to ban blogspot and most of the other blogging web providers. i find that my thoughts seem to be flowing that wee bit better in the mornings.... bila dah malam timbul rasa nak releks je and any thoughts of venting or ranting just seem too tiring and energy consuming lol.

I still havent gotten back to the activity level that i want to be. of course ramadhan brought along with it an anticipated break in rhythm but the almost never ending fiesta that inevitably follows in ts wake is something most of us can do without. i dunno, we humans somehow have this natural talent for corrupting and desecrating anything thats remotely beautiful. take ramadhan for example, for one solid month we tout the virtues & wonders of fasting, abstinence and empathy with the poor & those less fortunate than us. then comes syawal and we're suddenly struck by a frenzy of eating, drinking and being merry and it goes on, with a vengeance, for the rest of the month. in some twisted & convoluted way we seem to be declaring to one and all, to hell with the fasting, the abstinence & the poor. that was just for ramadhan and this is reality.

Sigh. i've always wanted to vent about how syawal should stay as bulan ber'maaf2an' instead of evolving into bulan ber'makan2an' (such a word doesnt exist but you know what i mean). i think one of the major culprit is the newly adapted phenomenon of 'open houses'. out of convenience rather than necessity, city folks who had previously returned to their hometowns for eid, 'open' their houses so to speak at a certain date and time so that the joyous occasion can also be shared with neighbours & friends. the logic being, instead of having people drop by unexpectedly, it only made sense to invite them all in one go..... and of course once you invite people over you do the decent thing and provide them with enough food & drinks.

There are many who, like me, still prefer to leave the invitation open but judging from the number of invitations that i get come syawal, open houses have certainly come into its own and is a resounding success. the hosts are happy, the friends are happy, everybody's happy happy and its certainly a good thing. its just unfortunate that during the unfolding of this phenomenon, too much importance have been placed onto the merry making, the eating & drinking; so much so that it's somehow become the main focus. the shift has been gradual but unmistakable. tell me, what's the first thing that comes into your head when a friend calls that he/she's coming over? surely its 'la apa nak jamu diorang ni ya?' or something to that same effect isnt it? because societal expectation has been raised and the situation has evolved beyond the customary 'kueh raya' into the realms of providing something 'heavier' and more substantial. It shouldnt be our first consideration. both sides should focus on the 'bermaaf2an' part and propogating friendship & ukhwah. if by chance there's also fried mee or currypuffs then alhamdulillah syukur nikmat Allah :)

Now back to discussing my running.... certainly a long and winding road lol. midlife brings with it a certain tendency to be easily distracted. yes its been 2 months and sadly, i'm slowly moosying on back to my regular schedule. i have to squeeze in more of the morning runs because in the evenings, i've started taking my litlle girl briskwalking along the track. yup, taking full advantage of the school holidays and her burgeoning awareness of the state of her own body. heh, before long i'll be getting meself a new running buddy ( i hope).

Blame it on the hormones

I'm a feminists' nightmare... at least the western idea of one and probably dianggap kuno, archaic, old pesen tapi tak kisah la kan. i just dont believe in absolute equality between gender, not the 'everything you do i can do equally well' kind. no definitely not everything sbb in the first place, we were made different and to take on different roles. hakikatnya kita memang telah dijadikan untuk saling lengkap melengkapkan. half of a complete whole... like ying & yang kot. kalau lelaki sinonim dengan 'brute strength' perempuan pulak sinonim dengan 'endurance', that sorta thing.

Like running for example. lets not talk about the professionals since they've reached the level of 'lean mean running machines' lol tapi kita yang biasa2 ni. kalau nak di ikutkan, kaum hawa sikit sebanyak akan dipengaruhi oleh cycle bulanan yang dihadapi mereka maklum la menstruation brings about fluctuations in our hormone levels. so ada masa things are ok dan ada masa not so ok. nasib la kalau ada pulak important event lined up masa tengah dok senak2 tu kan?! tapi something i read previously made me feel i actually had an advantage and that the fluctuating hormones i'm stuck with aint so bad after all :)

Performance VS Menstrual Cycle (i've summarized it for my own convenience).

Day 1 to 13: Follicular Phase
- low estrogen level
- encourages breakdown of CARBS therefore quick energy bursts.
- will generally feel active & energetic
Phase more suitable for:
- activities related to speed & intensity
- tempo workouts
- interval training

Day 14: Ovulation

Day 15 to 28: Luteal Phase
- high/stable estrogen level
- encourages breakdown of FATS therefore slower, more sustained energy.
- will generally feel sluggish, tired, lethargic
Phase more suitable for:
- activities that are slow & consistent
- long distance workouts
- low intensity training

Hmmmm.. apa2 pun during the first few days of the period, i usually just do light exercises. at my age i dont really want to aggravate anything... but i find that running really helps reduce the uncomfortably bloated feeling that one usually gets a week prior to it. understanding ones body helps in lessening the burden we tend to put on it.

Workout Log.
4 small laps= 4km = 40 minutes.
i hate running in the late afternoons.... the heat just zaps at my energy tapi for now i cant seem to be able to squeeze in anything before punching in for work. its the late nites; its making me wake up all groggy in the mornings. gotta do something i guess.

Scary

Ooops I did it again...

Its actually quite scary when you get these friendly little reminders from the AlMighty telling you that you're not really as in control as you'd like to think. when i attended that wedding reception the other day.... i found out i'd left the window on the passenger's side wide open!!! and that was after a long and enjoyable eating and socialising session of course, plus the fact that i'd earlier had to park quite a distance away at some godforsaken corner. berderau darah bcos anything could have happened the worst surely being finding an empty spot where my avanza should've been!!! alhamdulillah Allah masih sayang... except for the great gaping window, everything was as it should have been, intact. even though i was quite sure i had secured everything before leaving, i didnt even notice the window. maybe i was getting a little cocky and He wanted me to be on my toes again.

And today right after work, as i was reversing my car like i've always done a 1000 times before, i found myself ramming into the back of my officemate's daihatsu!!!!! omg, now where did he suddenly spring from?!! i really had the shock of my life bcos i was so very sure there wasnt anything back there. now talk about ngangok!!!!! driving is almost second nature to me and for me to be so careless is almost incomprehensible..... but thank god neither of our vehicles were actually damaged and the poor guy was nice enough not to be mad at me either. i'm thinking of getting him something - maybe a cake with a great big 'i'm sorry' written across it.

Thank you for the gentle jolts oh Lord, i'll be more careful in the future and more mindful of what age is probably doing to my concentration and focus.

I'm feeling a little bloated and this time it has nothing to do with my period. its this non stop eating marathon that seems to associated with syawal. today alone has been declared 'jamuan day' by many - we had the state jkr's jamuan HR from 11 am to 2 pm and the SUK's 'open house' from 12 noon to 5 pm. talk about free flow of food!!! when is enough enough? another day or two and it should be comfortable enough for me to start running again. eewwww... i so hate this bloatey distended feeling. rimas giler.

Back again

Alhamdulillah we were finally able to put the puter woes behind us :) RK can now rave & rant all she wants again thank god!!

Just got back from almost an hour of sunday morning aerobics at the dataran SA. really needed to sweat it out, loosen the ole joints a bit and also be with people. no polite exchanges or talks about the weather, no... but to just be amongst living breathing people. you see, as of this morning, right after subuh to be exact, yours truly is again, missing her other half. he's off galivanting across part ocean part land, in his role as the 'orang minyak' again but beggars cant be chosers i guess... getting him back within the folds of the family for 3 whole weeks aint too bad. to be honest, i was steeling myself for a really really short break.. a couple of days before raya and a couple of days after so complaining is certainly the furthest from my mind lol. and at least we were all spared of the posibility of seeing him making sad little raya wishes through any of the media as is the norm with the perantauan people. we'd have had a miserable raya indeed without him - main reason being sbb tak pernah hayat something like that ever happened to us. dah termanja kot. my heart goes out to all those people who cant be with family during eid. must be tough... double triple tough.

So in all my smelly sweaty glory i sit here mensyukuri segala nikmat yang telah dilimpahkan oleh NYA. semoga di panjangkan umur dalam keimanan yang teguh, kesejahteraan yang tak berpenghujung dan kesihatan yang terbaik... amin.

Thing to do today:
1. Switch the old road tax for the new before taking the avanza anywhere... otherwise deal with the law.

2. Wedding reception of SZ's kid in ampang/keramat.... 1st wedding from my absm gang. needless to say i will be attending the reception even though crossing over to the other side of KL fills me with trepidation. seriau nak venture across the great divide hehehe (speaking like a true daughter of shah alam yg malas nak pegi mana2).

3. Avoid moping about like a sick pussy. opps, that didnt come out quite right now did it even if i am a true blue cat lover.... so its sick puppy then i guess lol.

MIA

Its been a month since my last entry..... dari tak posa dah seminggu lebih pun kita msuk kebulan ramadhan almubarak. namun RK ni masih lagi la tangguh2 nak baiki pc. unless and until i do something about my home puter, i'm at the mercy of the kiddoes & their laptops. kat ofis tu memang sah tak boleh nak berblog lagi dah semenjak dua menjak ni (we have restricted internet access now) so harapkan bebudak tu aje lah. tapi almaklum la student, walaupun si AF is home almost every weekend tapi sibuk buat assignment so nak kacau pun tak sanggup. thus the almost abandoned blog.

Rasa macam banyak nak citer tapi dah dapat ngadap puter ni otak tetiba beku la pulak hehehe!!!!

Nampaknya sekadar mengucapkan to one and all - selamat mengindahkan ramadhan almubarak ini bersama. semoga dilimpahi nikmat & rahmat NYA.


p.s. Abe, cant wait to have you home for posa & raya :)

Wedding Triology

Last nite was the final episode of the S & I wedding triology. waduh waduh meriah sungguh majlis yang telah diadakan di Sheraton subang jaya tu!!! graced by the presence of the MB as well as other state dignitaries, it was an occasion laced with protocol but luckily not accessively so. you know how that sorta thing can turn 'boring' in the split of a second kan.

Oh but the bride, the bride!! clad in sweet pink, shirly was resplendent and a vision indeed. not that the groom wasnt handsome or anything... imran too was splendid, tall (6 footer for sure), handsome, ever smiling but, it was shirly's nite. she just 'glowed'!!!!! memang jelas terpancar kebahagian diwajah kedua2 mempelai.

And the 'surprise' that both the father & mother of the bride had in store for the young couple & all the guests surely topped it all. guess who they had serenading away, to the absolute delight of all that were present? ANITA the Diva no less!!!!!!! i almost dropped off my seat when she hit her first few notes lol. anita singing at a wedding reception?! wow... tabik la kak R & abang D, wa respek la sama lu heheh!!!! in fact anita later admitted it was her first such experience... and semata-mata untuk memenuhi hajat tuan rumah agar anakanda tersayang serta semua yang hadir terhibur and thus making it truly, a wedding to remember!!!

Again Shirly & Imran semoga bahagia & tawa mu berkekalan.

p.s. anita looking as she does at 54... aduh kita yang muda2 sikit ni terasa malu bila membandingkan diri. yea sure she's an entertainer & wajah mulusnya kurniaan tuhan tapi semangatnya, kesungguhannya and the passion that she seems to radiate - itu boleh diusahakan sepatutnya, tinggalkan nak ke tak nak, malas ke rajin. sooooo, what are you waiting for RK, go for it (even if you die in the process hehehehe) !!


Updates:
Putarajaya International Marathon
Date : 10 September, 2006 (Sunday)
Venue : Start / Finish – Dataran Putrajaya, Precinct 3, Putrajaya
Time : 5.30 am
Further details @ http://www.putrajayamarathon.com/rules.cfm

Shah Alam 10km Run
Date: 17 September, 2006 (Sunday)
Venue : Start/ Finish - Dataran Shah Alam, Shah Alam
Time : 6.00 am
Further details @ http://www.mbsa.gov.my/10km_run/indeks.htm

Penambah semangat

The boys are back for a week's break and its almost full house!!!!!!!

Almost but not quite..... wish you were here Abe.

Workout Log
Fri 01/09/2006
4 km tasik run - in the hot, swealtering, energy zapping late afternoon. gruelling... when will i ever learn!!

Sat 02/09/2006
4 km tasik run - in da morning as usual.

Sun 03/09/2006
4 km tasik run - thought of firing up my day with some aerobics at dataran shah alam, followed by a leisurely jog round the tasik, but one look at the boringly kelam kabut instructor (instructors have a rotational schedule of sorts.. and this particular guy sucks), i just kept right on running lol.

Reminder - Proper breathing

What is the importance of proper breathing to the the runner?
- taken from the Marathon Project @ http://www.advinc.com/~slik1/table.of.contents.htm

Well, now that you know how your respiratory system works, I can explain the importance of breathing techinique for a runner. You may notice that most world-class marathoners have a consistent breathing pattern. They don't look like they're working hard to breathe. That is because they have trained there bodies so that they can have a high rate of oxygen use by using as little exertion as possible. You're goal is to have a breathing pattern that can accomplish the same task, albeit at a lower-level.

If you were to try to eratically breathe through a marathon you could finish, but you would have wasted an incredible amount of energy breathing. Heavy breathing as explained in the above paragraph uses up a lot of energy, so you want to find a suitable and controlled breathing pattern. Most runners use a 2/2, 2/3, or 3/3 breathing pattern. This means that you breath in after two steps and breathe out after two steps. When you find a breathing pattern you should always train using the pattern so that it becomes second nature. You don't want to be thinking about breathing for an entire 26.2 miles. The breathing pattern will save energy and it will delay the time it takes for your body to burn up those carbohydrates (Higdon).

- just a personal reminder. gotta check on my breathing pattern the next time i'm out running... rasanya 2/2 kot not so sure.

Merdeka oh merdeka

To malaysians one and all....

HAPPY MERDEKA DAY !!!

Of Weddings

Its the time for weddings.

Of course there was the media explosion of cik siti's wedding (just a wee bit more and it would've turned into a circus) but on a more personal level, there was also the wedding of sweet sweet shirly, beloved daughter of Dato' S & Datin R.

Oh they didnt use to be dato's & datins, just your regular hardworking couple trying to find a niche and make a name for themselves. going through the earlier years with them, i was in the previleged position to witness firsthand the struggles they had to go through to be where they are right now. it wasnt easy. people can always say , "alah, they're just lucky enough to be at the right place at the time". probably, but to achieve and maintain a certain level of success, you also have to be tenacious, persisitent & very hardworking. and hardworking is certainly their middle name. abang D is the kind of 'waraq' man that i admire. a very patient & loving husband & father, you will usually find him at the masjid in the wee hours waiting for subuh to descend. come ramadhan and you will see him personally monitoring the children to at least try khatamkan quran before month's end. but he is also not a stranger to the fast-track business world. calm & suave with the highly creative & versatile kak R as the driving force behind their businesses, they have succeeded beyond expectation indeed.

Alhamdulillah, bertambah lagi la kebahagian keluarga ini dengan adanya menantu budiman. congratulations shirly & imran.... semoga dilimpahi sejahteraan dunia akhirat.

Stopping the slide

'Slack' baru sebulan dah terasa padahnya.... rupanya bila dah selalu aktif dan tiba2 je relek memanjang, it doesnt take long to become semput & extremely bloated ya. yuckity yuk i so hate this heavy, kembong & kembang feeling!!

I've probably put on a kg or two meneman cik Abe mengunyah malam2 (his hobby) but what irks me the most is this 'tak lepas' breathing, cukup tak puas. apa2pun kena la usahakan untuk get back on track kan.

Alahai better not slide next time cik tipah ooi!!

Workout Log:
Treadmill - 30 mins/3.5km/260kj @ average speed of 7-8km per hour

Wrapping up

Its been a week since Abe left and there still hasnt been a single 'meraung' episod as yet...... phew legaaaa bebudak!! they had the shock of their lives when mama, the so called "superwoman" tetiba broke down in a crying fit satu ketika dulu (nak wat camane kan bila rindu yang teramat tiba2 je datang melanda). hehehe terkejut bagak diorang, maklum la mama diorang ni selalunya nampak brutal je kan. and they've been 'monitoring' me ever since!! terasa diri ni menjadi perhatian, scrutinised gitu lol, pastu tergelak pun ada bila terdengar si abang long menanya si adik, "mama ada nampak macam nak buat hal tak?".

Jawapannya wahai anak2, mama ni ok je. this sort of thing bukannya boleh anticipate... it just happens. sometimes, our feelings take over and you need to express it, thats all. so relax la, mama nangis pun setakat nak release all my pent up emotions je... and you all know i dont do things halfway kan - dah nangis tu baik meraung hehehe. just because i'm old doesnt mean i'm devoid of all romantic feelings.... orang tua2 pun di buai perasaan gak la bebudak weh!!! setakat ni everythings under control :)

Ok moving on to another one of my passions - a quick run down of my running this week :)

Weekly Exercise Log
Thurs 24/08/06
- 9km

Fri 25/08/06
- 4km

Sun 27/08/06
- 1 hr aerobics + 4km

This week's tally - 17 km (heheh kasut baru punya pasal)

When the children are all grown

"Ma, dont get into a frenzy or anything.. (silence) tapi kan... (another silence) hari tu kepala ijat terkena kipas"

Aduh la weh... tersirap darah mama ni sampai i thought i'd pop a vein!! macamana laa boleh jadi camtu anak, kan mama dah pesan dan pesan lagi, taking utmost care of your head is numero uno on your priority list. takkan laa senang sangat lupa your own medical history sayang ooi!!!!

I have a septate uterus or uterus subseptae - its a condition where the uterus has a midline septum. fortunately for me the division stops about halfway through (there are people with their uterus totally divided into two) but the area that makes up the abnomality is almost a no man's land i.e. tak subur. a fetus unfortunate enough to be growing from that area will not be getting much in the way of nutrients from the mother. that is exactly what happened to my second baby.... weighing at only 1.97kg AI could've easily passed off as a preemie except that he was carried full term. very delicate inside out, he somehow had an infarct at 8 months and was rendered half-paralysed. syukur alhamdulillah he regained full mobility after 2 weeks and has been alright ever since. but the traumatic incident has left me very very very cautious & sensitive about anything to do with his head.

Haaa... now imagine my reaction upon hearing news of his fan accident!!!! dah seminggu yang lalu pulak tu, budak bertuah!!! memang hati ni dah berdetik, gusar, bila tenguk low ceiling kat bilik bebudak tu dulu. most definitely doubledecker beds, low ceilings and ceiling mounted fans do not mix tapi dah memang macam tu kat asrama tu. ish, terus nak terbang je kat dia tapi since tak boleh, was already making plans to drive down to melaka first thing the next morning - but he wouldnt let me. dia kata ada feskem or something (dunno but i'm guessing 'feskem' is 'festival kemerdekaan' kot) and students semua busy dengan pre-merdeka preparations. memang at the time we were having the conversation dia tengah sibuk berlatih boria. he'd already seen the campus doc and treated for external cut/wound. nothing to worry about ma he said.

Hmmphhh.

After consulting with his abah, i finally agreed to wait until he came home for semester break (in a weeks time tapi aduh lamanya rasa!!). we'll then see what the family doctor has to say about all this.

Tu lah ek... bila anak2 masih kecik2 lagi apa2 pun terjadi masih di depan mata and to a certain extent within our control tapi bila dah besar panjang.... yang termampu hanyalah iringan doa yang berpanjangan.

Please please please take care of yourselves kiddoes. mama sayang sangat kat korang.

Water bash

What do you do when you're on school break and have nothing better lined up?

You have a water bash!!!!

Pandai gak bebudak ni, tak yah nak bazir2 duit gi wet world ke sunway lagoon ke (but given the choice mesti nak gak tu hehehe tapi nak wat camane kalau mak bapak tak brape nak melayan). last year the kids organised quite a big do - padang multipurpose kat seksyen 8 tu jadi sasaran, open to all their friends and siap kutip duit utk bayar air yang supplied by one of the residents. this year AH & her classmates are putting up their very own personal water bash.... and this time kat dalam kawasan rumah one of them je.

Earlier AH had already gotten herself 2 water guns, untuk tembak kiri kanan ala2 cowboy gitu. hajat hati dia tu nak that huge whopper of a gun yang ada kat toy-r-us, yang boleh pegang macam M16 tu, tapi mama dia malas nak ke subang jaya so beli je la toy gun yang banyak bergantungan kat aisle2 supermarket. hari tu kitorang beli kat cold storage SACC rasanya. semalam masa mandi punya la berjam2 ingat ke kenapa rupa2nya dok praktis dalam bilik air tu!!

Masa pick her and a few of her friends yang nak tumpang balik (around 6 pm), dah kecut, kedut dah bebudak tu nampaknya tapi you should have seen the huge grins they had on their faces!!! priceless hehehe!!! mesti seronok agaknya ek... kita kat tropics ni macam tu la kan, suka sangat main air. ingat lagi masa dolu2, pantang hujan, mesti menyelinap cari peluang nak mandi hujan. mana teringat pun kat kilat ke apa ke, main belasah aje tapi sekarang tak leh dah nak wat camtu... kat bandar hujan pun tak sebersih mana.

Later when i was doing the laundry baru ler tau dema tu bukan saja dok tembak air rupanya, main tepung n colour2 bagai!!!! jenuh gak la menggonyoh baju dia tu (dalam hati ni dok terpikir creative gak ek bebudak ni... dah jadi macam paint ball war lak tapi at minimum cost hehehe).

Nampaknya my baby girl's happy lagi!!

Esok my adik2 nak datang bertandang.... turn mama dia lak nak happy2 :)

p.s. Abe oh Abe we're doing whatever we can to fill the void that you've left behind.

Breaking in session

You know you havent been running in a while when:

1. you suddenly feel short, heavy and very close to the ground - as if you're a 45 yr old midget scurrying about, setiap langkah berat, weighted down. not for you that "i'm running on winged feet" feeling!!

2. you start having that hot, prickly, itchy, sensation spreading over the skin of your thighs and butt. masa tu kalau dapat selak (kat toilet mana-mana la of course... hehe kalau kat track mesti ramai yang cabut lari!!), you'll see that area of skin merah2 macam kena rashes and merenyut2 gatal.

3. your usually dependable pace & rhythm seem out of whack - dah masuk 1 km pun rasa macam your breathing just aint your own (help who's body is this?!)

But of course after some time, things start falling into place and you're back into that rythmic pace... thump, thump, thump; feet pounding, heart pumping, lungs expanding; you feel 100% alive. and just like everything else, once you achieve that state of 'flow', you're functioning at your optimum level and you just wish you can hang on to that great feeling!!! tapi of course everyone has their limitations so kena la hati2 tak ter'over'.... tua2 ni padah jadinya kalau kurang peka. you gotta know your limits - not so much of what's expected of you but more from your own personal experimentation & findings.

For the breaking-in session (for both my new shoes & my semi-sedentary self) I had planned a nice, easy run; warm up, followed by a slow & steady 4km, cool down. heh turns out.. it couldnt have deviated any further from the original plan because i ended up with a 9km run instead lol. see, i was pretty excited with my new nikes but it started out quite horribly (sepertimana catatan teratas). there i was struggling to find my pace, km after km and sadly, by the time i finished 1 lap round the tasik (4km), i didnt seem to be getting any 2nd wind either. as i was contemplating my cooling options, i spied the taichi gang finishing off their session with the pochong2 (indon dance) and decided to join in. wah enjoy gak menari-nari gitu lepas penat berlari and funnily enough after that, i found myself fully recharged!! heh apa lagi, boyed up by the great feeling i decided to run an extra km.. and whadaya know, lepas tu terus sambung another lap round the tasik!!!!! best giler!!!!!

And thats how i ended up with a 9km breaking-in session :)

Nasib baik la steady jer lepas tu sebab we had all kinds of plans lined up for the day.

Lepas lari, singgah pasar sat beli barang2 basah (especially ikan kembong for the kitties otherwise mom would have my hide sbb dah takde stock), then it was a visit to the vet. nico's been unwell for ever so long... kira berbulan gak la dia asyik tidoq je, tak wander jauh2 kat rumah tu. turns out dia kena jaundice, would you believe that!!!!! ha ah, kucing pun ada sakit kuning gak and kena laa injection and a weeks supply of meds for his liver. i was to bring him in for another jab after that. ish, macam2kan?!

By noon we were ready for the next thing on our list - melepak kat midvalley. kesian AH cuti sekolah tak kemana, so when she said she wanted to hang out with me at the malls, just the 2 of us, i immediately agreed and took leave from work. best gak la pusing2 tanpa hala tujuan gitu lol.... and AH got what she wanted - a mean looking punkish bracelet yang jenis hitam with besi tajam2 tu, and a new wallet/purse. of course we made the usual looong stop kat burger king for their to die for double cheese swiss mushroom (or is it double swiss cheese mushroom?) and sebenornya lepas tu nak tenguk wayang, tapi because we didnt want to get stuck in the 'after work' exodus, we decided to sambung kat jusco bukit raja (which is somewhat 'in our back yard' so to speak).

Maka bersambung la sessi melepak dua beranak nih. solat isnt a problem since malls these days, alhamdulillah, are equiped with ruang solat yang agak selesa so duduk seharian kat situ pun tak jadi hal. mula2 kitorang nak tengok 'beneath the water' tapi rating 18 something or other so tak jadi. nak tengok snakes in the plane just for an excuse to scream our hearts out, lambat sangat pulak the next show so we ended up with click. not too bad, ada gak la unsur2 pengajaran (tapi kalau kita selalu make a point to look for good, kat poop pile pun kita akan nampak potential gak lol). lepas dapat sandals yang dia nak and a cute little skirt to complete her ensemble for the water bash she was having tomorrow, AH was finally ready to call it a day (phew... nasib baik sbb mama dia dah mula terasa the effects of the 9km run plus pusing2 mall tak henti2 hehehe). last stop - warung kat seksyen 11 for some kungfu kueh teow to tapaw back for dinner (osso as peace offering for mom).

I'm glad my baby's happy :)

Kasut oh kasut

Now that the man's gone its back to my regular running schedule. takde excuse dah nak ngelat2.. especially with the runs coming in september. lagi pun sekarang ni bernafas pun tak brape sedap. tak sepuas dan selapang selalu akibat tak berlari as per normal.

One of the main reasons i've been slacking - my regular running shoes yang ada 'air' tu dah terpancit. yea literally!! ntah macamana ntah bila berlari berdesir desir bunyinya sbb dah terbelubang tapak tu. tapi bila pikir2 memang patut la pun sbb dah setahun lebih tak tukar2. a new one has long been overdue.

Syukur alhamdulillah la skarang tengah banyak merdeka sale..... so masa round2 ngan cek abe tu dulu dah tahu la lebih kurang mana nak tuju. tadi masa lunch break menonong je la ke jusco bukit raja, berbekalkan tekad & semangat untuk beli gak kasut baru no matter what (bukan apa i need time to break in the shoes for the runs). mahal pun mahal lah nak wat camane sbb dah tua2 ni one just cannot risk compromising on proper support & comfort. tak berani nak try brand lain selain nike sbb dah terbiasa so i headed straight for the slam dunk shop at the ground floor. from my earlier meanderings i knew they were also participating in the sale and that the air pegasus/pegasus air that i was eyeing was on a 30% discount. tinggal nak cari size (selalunya kecik skit drp UK saiz 4) dan bayar tu aje. actual price about RM 349.00 and kalau takde discount memang tak sanggup nak beli tapi after less 30% tu dapat la around RM 244.00. tak la rasa bersalah sangat bubuh kat kaki beratus-ratus bila dah ada discount gitu. anyway i really need good shoes with all the pounding that i was subjecting my ol joints to and osso lessen the risk of injury somewhat. dah tua2 ni tinggi lak maintenance ya lol!

Tak sabar nak cuba la weh. i'll probably go out on an early morning run tomorow since i've taken 2 days leave.... hajatnya nak jalan2 temankan si daro yang tengah cuti sekolah tu. kesian lak dia sebab tak kemana-mana.

Strategy

Semalam abahnya berlepas jauh ke awan biru (at time of writing dah sampai pun ke bumi tandus turkmenistan), pagi tadi pulak anaknya bertolak balik ke menara gading - bringing the avanza along with him. janjinya bila babah takde dirumah boleh la dia pakai kereta mama... after all tanjung malim tu tak la sejauh mana dan memudahkan dia pegi balik bilamana perlu. bertambah2 lagi la sunyinya kat rumah tu with all the men gone, unless you counted the male kitties as a viable 'male' persence lol.

Formula mengatasi kesunyian hari pertama:
1. berpuasa untuk merawat hati nan lara.
2. sibukkan diri dengan paperwork yang sememang tak pernah2 nak surut.
3. berbuka ala kadar so that maghrib can be settled at home thus allowing you to dine out; preferably where there'll be lots of people & lots of noise.
4. buy an assortment of dvds for variety.... lucu macam RV & menakutkan macam Black nite.
5. allow yourself to be scared to death, so that sleep takes over without you giving it a tough fight.

Alone again.. unnaturally

*SIGH*

Time flies.... sebulan berlalu macam tu je. pejam celik tau2 dah pun sampai ke last weekend untuk together-gether.

Saturday passed in a whirlwind of activities. as usual cik Abe tu last minute baru nak settle macam2; bank la, celcom la, saman la.... eeeh, memang memacam!! tu pun nasib baik masa cuti khamis lalu ada gak la bill2 yang dah dilangsaikan kalau idak lagi FENING sbb you know what happens with loose ends?! haaa, makcik ni gak la yang kena terhegeh2 meny'ettle'nya nanti!! first thing in the morning kitorang serbu celcom seksyen 9 sbb dek kerana isu roaming meroaming, line dah kena bar. sunday pulak dah nak fly off so kena gak la settle one way or the other. cek abe tu ngamuk sebenarnya sbb dia dah batal certain oversea services earlier tapi masih lagi kena caj (nak citer panjang2 pun tak faham sgt lol) and celcom promised to look into it tapi akhirnya ntah apa yang jadi terus bar je line. hard luck for us, it was the 3rd saturday of the month so counter tak buka. nak bayar kat deposit machine, tak sure final figure so kena KIV (read: makcik kena settle).

Pastu njenguk lak kat balai polis seksyen 11 sbb nak semak saman tapi adik guard tu kata, pukul 10 baru counter buka so patah balik kat syedina seksyen 9 for tosei and apom (weh sambal tosei kat situ sedap giler... not the one yg putih kelapa tu but one that's tomato base & spicy). as usual cek abe pekena daging ketul2 besar masak hitam yang dia suka tu, also ikan goreng (yea with tosei... pelik tapi benar lol). pastu tak cukup... tambah capati lak, makan kaw kaw punya hehe, maklum la lepas ni susah skit nak makan best2 (according to him masakan turkmen kurang berperisa). dah sampai nak bangun pun kena sodok baru la kitorang made our way back to the police station. dah masuk pun kawasan balai tenguk2 counter tutup jugak sbb 'offline'. sayup2 terdengar rungutan cek abe... rupa2nya dia dah cek dah 2-3 hari sebelum ni tapi dok 'offline' memanjang. alahai apo nak dikato dah nasib makcik ni agaknya. kalau idak kan senang, bila dah semak tu boleh la dia terus merayu untuk kurangkan skit saman tu, pastu bayar. now its back to me.

Dah dua benda tersangkut ni takut gak la 'mood' cik Abe tu bertukar dari 'lovey dovey' kepada 'grumpy mumpy'... maklum la fuse tu kekadang pendek la gak tapi alhamdulillah, bersemangat lak dia nak tunjukkan branch southern bank yg keluarkan pinjaman avanza kitorang. road tax mati by early november so kena la bersedia awal, lebih2 lagi sbb makcik ni tak brape sure kat mana hala tuju tempatnya (selalunya dia yang uruskan, kita menemankan je tu pun baru sekali). heh, nasib baik gak la pegi round2 kat ss2 tu, memang tak ingat pun the long & winding jalan langsung lol. as usual sambil round2 sambil borak2.... rupanya ada lagi hasrat cik Abe yang dipendamkan untuk saat2 akhir. dia nak cari paraphanelia mobile phone yang kengkawan turkmen dia kirim!!! laaaaa ingat ke semua dah ready!!! so singgah la kat umah sekejap to pick up our lil gal (yang sebelum nih tak nak ikut sbb asyik mengadun tahi mata lol) sebelum merayap kat PAS (plaza alam sentral).

Sementara nak nunggu si daro siap, bertukar pulak plan asal. tak jadi bershopping dulu tapi melencong makan lunch sbb takut tak jumpa barang yang dicari terus tersasar sampai kepetang. sebenornya cik Abe tu dah mula trauma teringatkan peritnya nak dapat makanan yang dia suka kat turkmenistan tu so walaupun kenyang tadi pun tak hilang lagi, ikut je la rentak dia. maklum la orang nak pegi jauh kan. so kitorang pun bertandang la kat restoran kegemaran dia kat area seksyen 13 tu. restoran hassan, kedai kelantan yang agak fames gak la kat taipan subang jaya dah buka branch kat situ. their speciality - ayam kampung goreng panas2. apa lagi cik Abe pun makan la dengan penuh berselera sekali... between the 3 of us habis la 6 ketul chicken halves, siput sedut, sambal petai, masak darat - weh dahsyat gak la. sengkak perut ni tak terkira tapi tenguk yang tersayang tersengeh gumbira maka tanggung aje la kan ;)

Gendang gendut tali kecapi kenyang perut memang senang hati (tapi kalau terlajak boleh terbodoh hik hik). from there kitorang terus tuju ke PAS where the whole of its 3rd floor is dedicated to barang2 telekomunikasi & komputer. wah heaven la pakcik tu macam2 ada tapi turns out, bila dah banyak choice tu lain lak jadinya... kejap2 dok tepon anak jantan sulung dia (yg pakar mende2 camni) untuk advice sampai bengkerk gak la mat/minah yang menjual tu. dan dalam dok singgah sana, singgah sini, tanya tu, tenguk ni, tup tup member siap trade in handphone lagik you!!! dulu masa he got himself a new hp dia pass down to me his nokia 'daun' (tak ingat la model) tapi lately macam bermasalah la skit hp daun tu. rupanya sambil dok beli memory stick/card/whatever yang orang kirim, cek abe tu dok merisik pasal razr baru yg v3i tu. ingat ke memain je tapi siap tanya daun tu laku brape kalau trade in yada yada yada and to make a long story short, bayar RM330.00 dapat motorolla razr v3i baru!!!! heheh hebat gak la sidia tu buat magik.... tapi jangan silap sangka, bukan dapat kat kita pun hp baru tu, dia gak yang guna. kita ni biasa la dapat hand me down lagi, kali ni samsung slide ntah apa ntah. weh la weh samsung pun samsung la, asalkan boleh pakai.... tipah 'tak kisah' (mengikut nada fames si budak aiman hehehe).

Boyed up by his successful bargaining, ringan je la cik Abe tu melayan kami... siap window shopping kat SACC. its something that he hates doing (his usual reaction - amende la you all ni, pusing2 tak gak beli2, sheesh) and normally avoids it like the plaque. seronok anak dara dia dapat merayap ngan her dad, selalunya ngan mama je sbb daddy seringkali MIA main golf (tapi bab tu bebudak dah faham sangat). in fact kitorang tak beli apa2 pun tapi dalam pusing2 tu abahnya yang beli kasut ala2 mocassin kat primavera. mula2 dia teragak2 gak tapi atas desakan his 'women' maka bertambah la koleksi kasut dia. no worries, memang lawa pun kasut tu. last stop was the cold storage where he wanted to get, of all things, aji-no-moto. msg, thats the one thing that i just cant seem to wean him off - "takde maggi (in this case aji-no-moto) tak jadik mak". ish ish dia tak nak cuba pun nak kurang2kan penggunaan benda tu so nak wat camane kan... bukan bebudak nak ditegur lelebih. sidaro lak cepat je tangan tu mencapai sepeket 'fresh strawberries' yang bukan saja segar tapi gemuk2 betui. apa lagi kalau bukan pengaruh pasangan bahagia CT ngan Dato K lol. ya lah nak dip2 in chocolate gitu. akhirnya untuk kitorang yang basically lemah skit bab shopping2 ni kira sakan gak la hari tu.

Sengaja pun bagi peluang & ruang untuk anak beranak tu berbonding sbb i'm not the only one who'll be missing him. daddy's girl dalam senyap2 makan hati dok merindu; the boys pun macam tu gak sbb we're a close-knit family. so the spirit of together-getherness tu kekal sampai ke malam and as usual the last nite saw us all camping reramai sambil temankan babah packing barang2 dia - termasuk la abang long yang balik dari tanjong malim petang tu. as for AI kat alor gajah tu walaupun tak balik, he's only a phone call away and always close to our hearts.

Of course sunday morning tiba jua and by 7.30 am dah sampai pun kat KLIA. walaupun i'd rather stay till the very last moment to see him off tapi respecting his wishes, kitorang dengan berat hatinya just dropped him kat departure area tu je ("tak yah la tunggu sbb sedap skit hati abah bila dengar you all selamat sampai kat rumah sebelum abah bertolak"). masa dia nak sarongkan jacket ke badan, baru la kitorang perasan yang kasut baru cik Abe tu matching habis ngan leather jacket dia. wah tersengeh panjang abahnya dapat pujian (hensem ala2 hero hindustan gitu) tapi sidaro tu awal2 lagi siap warning, jangan ngorat2!! heheh dah tua2 ni tak payah nak bising2 sbb dah ada orang take over - in fact lagi brutal dari mama dia nampaknya. sempat la sedapkan hati yang tersayang sebelum dia berlepas bila kitorang 3 beranak sampai kat shah alam dengan selamat. lepas tapow breakfast terus balik rumah sambung tido.

SUNYI sesunyi2nya.

Legaa

Hah, ringan rasa otak bila dah tahu sikit sebanyak whats wrong with my right shoulder.... maklum saja la macam2 penyakit dah timbul zaman millenium ni. sometimes the unexpected happens so kena laa ready2kan minda untuk apa saja kan. kang terkejut badak kang susah pulak kan lol.

Semalam pepagi lagi golfman and I dah bertandang kat SJMC's imaging dept. walaupun my appointment was set at 11 am tapi i was advised by the nurses to try my luck by coming early. selalunya kalau yg sepatutnya datang tu lambat, they always slot in saper je yang ada kat situ. and memang betul pun... i heard my name called around 9.30 am and after a brief wait at the MRI lounge, i was already being asked politely to strip and don the std hospital garbs - alaaa the kind with lots of ribbons tu. with my bad arm siksa gak la nak ikat2 kat belakang tu, nasib baik just the top part je (i got to keep my skirt on lol) kalau idak lagi susah nak make sure terikat sampai kebawah.

Walaupun MRI ni sebenarnya takde apa2 pun tapi for a first timer suspen gak la. The operator (or what is it you call the person manning the machine ek?) was a very nice lady... friendly & reassuring. agaknya dia nampak kot makcik nih dah mula cemas & kecut perut, walaupun i honestly thought the cool & unconcerned air i was putting on was working lol. she explained about the intermittent loud noises that i would be experiencing and that it was during such times that she needed me to keep absolutely still. weh risau gak la tak boleh duduk diam2 sbb i was still having this rather gerrulous sore throat that brought on coughing fits right out of the blue. and before she pushed the button that was to slip me into the cavenous depths of the machine, she armed me with 1. a buzzer in case i needed to catch her attention 2. huge headphones (then playing soft sentimental music) to cut off the noise. heh but i tell ya theres nothing that can stop the assault to your eardrums once the twanging starts lol.

Once i was in there, the only thing that stopped me from feeling like i was locked up in a coffin was the fact that the cavity was lighted. whew, for people who are claustrophobic, its definately not a place you'd want to be in. sempit gak laa... got me to wondering kalau jenis badan betui2 huge tu kot tersengkang ke bila masuk? And all through the half hour 'ordeal' (which actually wasnt all that bad cept for the fact that towards the end, my muscles started to cramp up from the all the inactivity lol), i kept thinking about how it must have been for my 2nd son when he had to go through the same experience 2x. he was so young that first time, barely 1 year old when they wanted to check out his infarcts - it must have been awfully scary for him all alone in there poor kid. and the second time was around 10 years old when he kept complaining about headaches. turn out he just needed specs, thank god.

I was dressed and back at the waiting area within 30 mins. the worse part was actually in the 'waiting' that came after that. surprisingly, it took them about an hour to come up with the report. nak buat macamane ramai sangat pesakit yang perlukan 'imaging', so masa tu dengan serta mertanya maka ranap la segala angan2 nak balik awal melepak kat rumah. sbb bukan setakat itu je, lepas tu nak kena gi ngadap specialist lak so bertapa je la kat hospital tu nampaknye.

Dapat je report terus we sneaked a peek..... macam la terra sangat tapi i was reassured gak la sbb the words that kept jumping out at us was 'unremarkable' which we gather must mean 'biasa je' la kot. And true enough the good doctor later informed us, i just had imflammed tendons and takde la yang terkoyak ke terhimpit ke atau berbagai2 'ter' lain yang lebih menakutkan. alhamdulillah. she lined out a game plan which was quite acceptable to me. the main objective - get rid of the imflammation. i was to continue taking the anti swelling/pain/inflammation meds for the next 3 weeks and i was to abstain from putting my shoulder through any kind of exertion. kalau masih sakit then its the steroid jab and kalau tak baik gak then its surgery to cuci2 kat joint tu. shessh... of course i'll be good doc. this time i promise not to 'cheat' and sneak in an aerobic session or three lol and i'll try my utmost best not to aggravate the tendons because i definitely do not want to go anywhere near the 3rd option - surgery!!

Alas, all this means absolutely no aerobics or weights for 3 whole weeks and now for me that's certainly a very long time. tapi...... nasib baik la gak i'm still allowed to run!!!!!!! the doc thinks the arm swinging that comes with the running shouldnt cause any problems so woo hooo, ada harapan la tak terus jadi sedentary gitu. with my oh so healthy appetite and no outlet, seriau gak tetiba jadi tong lak nanti hehehe.

The gist of MRI report :

Moderate signal hyperintensity is seen in the supraspinatus and infraspinatus tendons. No loss in the continuity of these tendons are demonstarted.
There is mild surrounding pertendinous free fluid.
The rest of the rotator cuff tendon appears unremarkable.
The shoulder joint is normal in allignment.
No obvious marginal osteophytosis or labral tear.
The acromio-clavicular joint appears unremarkable.

Impressions Supra and infraspinatus tendonitis.
No obvious osteoarthritis of the shoulder joint seen.


Heheh... tu la kata, legaaaaaaaaa :)

Setback

Baru jer seronok2 nak kembali berblog dah terkena pulak serangan virus-virus yang tengah ganas melanda my little corner of the world. cadangnye nak balik menjenguk pakngah & makngah osso abg din (who's actually another uncle but he's been my 'abang din' since i was a wee kid) kat sitiawan and i've even applied for leave from work midweek tapi lain lak jadinye. terdampar layu like a fat cow tak jumpa rumput seminggu, high on meds & cough syrup lol. bukak mulut je suara bukan setakat serak2 minah rock (that would have been pretty kewl) tapi lebih teruk dari bapokz siam lagik you!! and the coughs that racked my poor ole tired body... nak terjojol biji mata dibuatnya. but, the worse is over thank god, tinggal this very the degil phlegm that's plaguing my anak tekak.. nak buang tak boleh nak telan tak pergi. ish, rimas betul.

I still had a go at my aerobics class yesterday and alhamdulillah masa terkinja-kinja tu idak pulak terbatuk hehehe. kira ok ler tu so i'm slowly easing my way back into my workouts. if i'm to run in september i must start doing something soon nanti belum pun halfway through dah terpancit!!!! now that cannot happen laa must keep the 'makcik' spirit up lol

Oh and my shoulder isnt getting any better sad to say. masa flu tengah at its peak, habis satu badan sengal2 and my right shoulder ni apa lagi...... nak bergerak lebih skit pun sakit giler siot!!! to the extent that my old man kinda seret me for another check up (long overdue i might add) at SJMC last friday and since the pain seem pretty persistent, the doc wants to investigate further before deciding on a line of action. so i'm slotted for an MRI tomorrow. seriau gak ntah apa yang happening kat dalam tu kan tapi better to know then to have it all samar2 je gitu. takkan asyik nak kena steroid jab je ya tak?! doakan k. susah gak going around with a half functional right shoulder ni. paling terasa masa nak bayar toll or masa nak hulur smart tag. tangan ni tak dapat nak extend fully, terasa macam makcik berlagak hulur tangan acuh tak acuh laks heheh. dan kekadang terasa pulak macam orang cacat. aduh siksa sungguh rupanya ya.

Setiap hari sentiasa bersyukur keatas segala nikmat & rahmatNya.

Runs

I embrace august with fondness for it not only marks the independence of my tanah tumpah darah but 2 years ago, it was this month that i'd put my foot down and told myself firmly, "enough is enough"!!!!! it was time i stopped abusing my body and started taking full responsibility over the state of my own health. now the miracle was not in my realisation of that fact because i was after all well over 40. noooo... it was that i actually listened to myself for a change lol (any hardcore procrastinator would appreciate what that really means)!!!!

I'm consistently active now compared to the couch potato makcik i was back then. and like a potato i only rolled when i was pushed lol or when i panicked everytime there was the slightest hint of chestpain. now i get restless if i dont sweat like a hog ... ugh, horse i mean, a couple of times a week (not including the nightly romps when the man is home). alaaaa... bukan macam professional runner gitu, gilerrr dah ganyut lol tapi saja seronok-seronok set simple targets and pushing the body to meet them. cukup la sekadar a 3-4 km run 2-3 times a week or 5-8km on a good day. selangseli pulak dengan 1 hr 'fun' aerobics 3 times a week. yeah, these days i'm feeling so much better with myself and memang betul la, we mellow with age and you get to enjoy a lot more inner peace then before. its like you gradually leave behind whatever remaining angst or excess emotional baggage you'd been lugging around once you cross that 40's threshold. at least its that way for me, thank god. in fact theres so so much to be thankful for - syukur alhamdulillah.

Walaupun i'm not really up to running races tapi seronok gak check up on the upcoming runs and from the many that's listed, there's 2 that somehow tickles my fancy: the putrajaya international marathon & the larian shah alam. putrajaya bcos theres always lots and lots of categories & prizes up for grabs (including veterans like me) and shah alam bcos i'm a resident (duh!!!) lol. unfortunately these 2 runs are always scheduled pretty close together and to top it all, this year, its on the same date - september 10th!!!!! alahai... i'm gonna miss out on the putrajaya thingy again laaa nampak nya!!!

I'm back

Its been a while. in fact its been a looooooooooooooooooong while lol.

Pejam celik pejam celik dah pun Ogos. bulan merdeka. a month to regale in our country's independence (our 49th right?). to appreciate the courage & sacrifice made by our forefathers. to remind ourselves just how lucky we are to be free. yeah. beautiful thoughts indeed but in the end, the extent of our patriotism would mainly consist of putting up multiple flags on our multiple cars and multiple properties. even the colourful independence day parade sometimes garners just a cursory interest. ya memang ramai yang, dengan penuh semangatnya, akan keluar dinihari lagi untuk menyaksikan perarakan kemerdekaan, tetapi ramai juga yang, dengan penuh semangatnya, akan mengambil kesempatan untuk 'sleep in' dan tidak menghiraukan pun tayangan secara langsung yang diadakan di kaca tv.

Oh and did i forget to mention the merdeka sale frenzy... and our unflailing support for it?!!

Tapi nak buat macamana? the further away we are from that historic event the tougher it seems to 'feel' any of its impact. especially with our freshly bred 'instant gratification' generation.... it has as much effect as a fairy tale or a folk tale or whatever. even the escalating zionist atrocity isnt getting us out of our seats longer than the initial outrage.

Ntah la. Nak betulkan pun tak tau where to start. And so life goes 'merrily' on.