Saling melengkapkan

to better appreciate light there is darkness,
to better appreciate love there is hate,
to better appreciate life there is death.

I'm growing older and in the normal scheme of things, death will be something to be dealt with more than ever before.... ya lah barang lama expiry datenya pun dah semakin hampir la kan. as it is pun, people around me seem to be falling like leaves at a pretty alarming rate.

I have a very small family... arwah abah had 4 siblings (now tinggal 2), mom has only one (mak/ayah sama) while i'm anak tunggal (mak/ayah sama). and somehow because of that, my dealings with death has so far been very very limited. in fact i'm quite inexperienced in such matters and if death were to affect me directly, i really would be at a lost of what to do. sebelum ni boleh la nak harap kat orang lain kan but now i'm the 'senior' adult, i'm the orang tua2!!!

Of course i've read up about it and heard the occasional ceramah but like everything else in life, its got a lot to do with timing. unless you're in the situation or close to it you can never really be truly receptive.... mostly its like air di daun keladi, lalu aje takde kesan pun.

Not this time. i must brush up unless i want to be caught off guard and totally unprepared. i'm not being morbid but tak bersedia for something as crucial as this is being nothing short of cruel actually. its not something you would want to do for loved ones.... or anyone for that matter.

So where else to start but at the beginning.

Brushing up on some basics....

Fiqh-us-Sunnah Volume 4, Page 16: What Should be Done When Someone Dies
It is sunnah to do the following when a person dies:

-1- Advise the dying person to say: "La ilaha illa-Allah" (there is no god but Allah). It is narrated on the authority of Abu Sa'id al-Khudri that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: "Prompt your dying people to say: 'La ilaha illa-Allah'." (Muslim, Abu Daw'ud, Tirmizhi) Another report on the authority of Mu'azh ibn Jabal states that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: "He whose last words are 'La ilaha illa- Allah' shall enter Paradise." (Narrated by Abu Daw'ud; Al-Hakim considers it a sound hadith)

This prompting (talqin) is necessary only when the dying person is unable to utter the shahadah (La ilaha illa- Allah . . . ). If such a person is able to utter these words then there is no need for prompting, but he should rather be advised to do so. Such advice is useful in cases of persons who are in possession of their faculties of reason and speech. If one is already mentally impaired such advice cannot be of benefit. But one who is unable to speak might say these words in his heart. The scholars are of the opinion that no pressure should be put on the dying person. So one should not say to him, "Say, 'La ilaha ill-Allah'," lest he should become annoyed and utter something improper. One may say the shahadah, however, in such a way that the dying person might be able to hear it and repeat it. If he utters it once, he should not be asked to repeat it unless he says some words after it. In such a case he should be asked to repeat shahadah to ensure that it be his last utterance.

Most scholars are of the opinion that one attending a dying person may repeat only the words: "La ilaha ill-Allah," according to the apparent meaning of the hadith. Others are of the opinion that the dying person should be prompted to utter the two testimonies (that is, "I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger"). The purpose is to remind him of the Oneness of Allah, which includes both of the two testimonies.

-2- Lay the dying person so that the qibla is on his right side. To this effect it is recorded that Abu Qatadah said: "Upon arrival in Madinah, the Prophet, peace be upon him, enquired about a person called al-Bara ibn Ma'rur. The people told the Prophet, peace be upon him, that he had died, and had willed one-third of his property to the Prophet, peace be upon him, and that his face be turned toward the Ka'bah at the time of his death. Hearing this, the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: 'He has been true to his innate nature. I return the one-third of his property to his children. ' Then the Prophet, peace be upon him, left and offered a prayer for him and prayed, saying: 'O Allah! Forgive him, have mercy on him, and cause him to enter Your Paradise. Indeed, You have accepted this prayer'." (Narrated by Al-Baihaqi and Al-Hakim, who observes: "I know of no hadith, other than this one, with regard to turning the face of a dying person toward Ka'bah.")

Ahmad reported that Fatimah, the daughter of the Prophet, peace be upon him, at the time of her death, turned toward the Ka'bah and placed her right hand under her head. This is the sleeping position recommended by the Prophet, peace be upon him, and in a grave, a dead body should also be placed in the same position. A report recorded from Ash-Shafi'i says: The body of the deceased should be laid flat on his back with his feet toward the Ka'bah, and his face raised a little, facing it. The majority of scholars, however favor the first position and hold it to be preferable.

-3- Recite Surah Ya Sin from the Qur'an. (Surah 36 of the Qur'an) This is reported by Ahmad, Abu Daw'ud, Nasa'i, Al-Hakim, and Ibn Hibban, and the last two of them grade it as a sound hadith. They report also on the authority of M'aqil ibn Yasar, that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: "Ya Sin is the heart of the Qur'an. Whoever recites it seeking the pleasure of Allah and the hereafter will receive Allah's forgiveness. So recite it to your dead." (Ibn al-Qattan considers this hadith weak and manifests some confusion, doubt, and even ignorance about some of its narrators. Ad-Dar al-Qutni is reported to have said: "In the chain of narrators of this hadith there is confusion. Its text is obscure and is not correct.")

Ibn Hibban observes: This hadith refers to the recitation of Ya Sin for those on the eve of death and not for those already dead. This interpretation is supported by Ahmad, who recorded in his Al-Musnad that Safwan states: "The most eminent scholars say: 'The recitation of Surah Ya Sin at the time of a person's death makes death easy for him'. "The compiler of Musnad al-Firdaus attributes this hadith to Abu ad-Darda and Abu Zharr. They both narrated: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: 'If any person is on his deathbed and Ya Sin is recited to him, Allah makes his suffering easier'."

-4- Close the eyes of the deceased. It is narrated by Muslim that the Prophet, peace be upon him, went to visit Abu Salmah. He saw that his eyes were wide open and blank with the stare of death. So the Prophet, peace be upon him, closed his eyes and said: "Verily, when a soul is seized, the eyesight follows it."

-5- Cover the deceased: 'Aishah said: "When the Messenger of Allah died, he was covered with a piece of cloth that had some designs on it." This is reported by Bukhari and Muslim. The objective here is clearly to safeguard the respect and dignity of the deceased in death against prying eyes and against the exposure of his or her body to the idle curiosity of those looking for changes in its physical condition and features.

There is a consensus among scholars regarding the permissibility of kissing a dead person. The Prophet, peace be upon him, kissed 'Uthman ibn Maz'un after his death. Similarly, when the Prophet died, Abu Bakr leaned over him and kissed him between his eyes saying: "O my Prophet! O my best friend! !"

-6- Prepare the body for burial without delay, as soon as death is confirmed (by specialists i. e., a qualified physician or the like).

The guardian of the deceased should wash, wrap, and arrange for the burial of the body soon after the funeral prayer for the deceased, because the body might deteriorate if burial is delayed. This is based on a report, recorded by Abu Daw'ud from al-Husayn ibn Wujuh that when Talhah ibn al-Bara fell ill, the Prophet, peace upon him, said: "I see that Talhah is on the verge of death. Inform me about him (when he passes away) and make immediate preparations for his burial, for a Muslim's remains should not be left long with his family after his death."

The burial may be delayed only for the guardian, provided no physical deterioration in the condition of the body is feared from such delay. Ahmad and Tirmizhi report on the authority of Ali ibn Abu Talib that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: "O Ali, never delay three things: prayer when its time approaches, the funeral when death is confirmed, and marrying a widow or a divorcee when a suitable match is found for her."

-7- Settle the debt of the deceased. Ahmad, Ibn Majah, and Tirmizhi have recorded a hadith on the authority of Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah said: "A believer's soul remains in suspense until all his debts are paid off." Tirmizhi considers this a sound hadith.

This means that the judgement regarding a soul's salvation or perdition or its entry into Paradise is held in abeyance until its debts are fully paid off and settled. This applies to a person who leaves some property upon his death. His debt should be paid out of the property that he leaves behind. In the case of a person who dies in debt which he sincerely intended to pay, but has no property (nor leaves any behind to pay his debt), according to a confirmed report, his debt will be settled by Allah, the Exalted. Concerning a person who dies in debt with sufficient means to pay it and was willing to do so, but his heirs do not pay it, Bukhari records on the authority of Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: "If anyone takes other people's money with the intention to repay it and then he or she should die without settling the debt, Allah will pay the debt on his behalf. And if anyone takes money or property (of others) with the intention of destroying it, Allah will destroy him."

A hadith recorded by Ahmad, Abu Nu'aym, Al-Bazzar, and At-Tabarani from the Prophet, peace be upon him, says: "The debtor will be summoned before Allah on the Day of Judgement. Then Allah will ask him: 'O Son of Adam ! Why did you incur debt and infringe on others ' rights? ' The man would reply: 'My Lord! You know I took it, but I neither abused nor lost it. It was stolen or bumed in a fire or lost its value.' Allah, the Almighty and Exalted, will say: 'My slave has told the truth, and I am more entitled (than anyone else) to settle his debt. Then Allah will issue a command and something will be placed on his scales causing his good deeds to outweigh his bad ones. And so, by Allah's Grace, he will enter Paradise'."

The Prophet, peace be upon him, did not perform funeral prayers for those who had died in debt. When, however, Allah the Almighty, granted him certain lands as a result of conquests, and the community's wealth increased, he offered funeral prayer for them and settled their debts.

Bukhari reports that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: "I am nearer to the believers than their own selves. So if someone dies leaving behind debt, but no wherewithal to settle it, we shall pay his debt, and if someone dies and leaves some estate behind him, it is for his heirs (to pay his debt)."

This hadith shows that the debt of a deceased Muslim may be paid from the public exchequer out of the zakah funds specified as the portion for the people in debt. This is one of the prescribed categories of zakah recipients. Death by itself does not annul one's debt or other responsibilities to the living.

when i get home i'm going to dig out my kitab2 lama.

Workout Log
crosstraining:
PM Gym/rower - 18mins/198 cal/avg 20 strokes per min
PM Gym/treadmill - 1.5k/15mins/90 cal/speed avg 6.5

Midweek reprieve

Aahhhh.... a break in the middle of a working week. always something one looks forward to.

I started the day early. el supir-o (read: driver aka yours truly) had to send zee big bozz to mines resort & golf club for his game. i needed the car for marketing & my myriad of other chores, and with just one vehicle at our disposal, kena la mengantor & mengambik. once i had him safely deposited there, it was the tasik for me yehaaa!!!!

Puas dapat lari pagi2 with time at my disposal tak payah nak terkejar-kejar masuk ofis.

Now after pekena tohseh telur & cilok skit roti sardin AH, time i tackled the chicken and fish thats thawing away in my sink. nak masak apa laaaa pulak hari ni?!!!!!!

Workout Log

AM Run - 5k/40mins/tasik

Beating boredom

Heh...

Kalau ada sesape yang menjangkakan diri akan sangap giler before days end maka give this website a try... the range of 'how to's' is quite mindblowing. alternate between u-tube and you should be able to keep those eyes open this monday hehehe.

http://www.videojug.com/


Workout Log
PM Treadmill - 4.2k/40mins/320cal/speed 6-7.5

In high gear

Sunday went rushing by in a blurry flash..... and i have 2 poor aching feet as saksi.

AF announced he had to make another visit to lowyat because the new laptop that his friend kirim had a busted CD-rom (or something like that la). since arin had already kept him company the whole day yesterday he now roped me and his father in. kebetulan the big guy tak main golf today soooooo berjaya lah si anak memujuk si ayah untuk melepak bersama, walaupun persetujuan tu agak half-hearted.

Hehehe. i knew things were going to get interesting because... si anak loooooves window shopping and si ayah pulak absolutely abhooooores it !!!! tambahan pula, pagi-pagi lagi si ayah telah pun penat melayan karenah si isteri untuk 1. sama-sama bersenamrobik (walaupun its not his thang) 2. menolak trolley yang sarat dengan keperluan di GIANT (which is also not his thang truth be told lol).

Me ? lets just let father & son settle this between them while i remain the onlooker ;)

So pusing punya pusing punya pusing punya pusing, AF settled his puter related problems while the big guy somehow managed to hang on to his sanity. all in all it was a sunday well spent. what more could a woman ask for right heheh?!!

But AH.... weeeell, its been a rather tough weekend for her. she's starting to realise that love isnt always sweet & rosy and having a relationship at an early age can be pretty tough. in fact its tough at any age. i just hope she remembers to have fun along the way.... young people shouldnt be in such a hurry to act like an old married couple; it'll come soon enough lol.


Workout Log
AM Aerobics - 50 mins/ medium impact aerobics.
tak best sbb shahir the hyper instructor was MIA, but its better than nothing i guess.

Feasible

Okies...... i did it 2 days in a row already and its actually more than just feasible :)

- come lunchbreak and i'm out of the office pronto
- singgah kantin beli lauk skit for mak & AH
- quick lauk drop-off at home on the way to KSAS
- 40 to 45 mins at KSAS gym
- back to sek 9 to pick up AH by 1.50pm
- singgah rumah for quick shower & solat
- back at the office by 2.15 - 2.30pm (i'm usually amongst the last to leave the office anyway, which should make up for any lost time).

My greatest worry was the nightmarish kayangan roundabout.... it can be quite the motorist's piece of hell tapi so far the traffic has been ok. in fact its been quite smooth actually.

Hehehe... feelin' good bay-beh!!!

Ooh and I should mention that AH’s also up & about and finally working that butt. her school’s cross-country & annual sports meet are both coming up soon and she’s training hard under her strict house captain... who coincidentally also happens to be her bf. *snicker* tu laaaa selama ni mama dok ajak lari tak nak. kan dah sakit2 segala tulang-temulang semua hikhik. skarang nak ngelak pun dah tak boleh kan kan ;)

Workout Log
Wed : PM Treadmill - 3.2k/35mins/300cal(speed 6-7).
Thurs : PM Treadmill - 4.3k/45mins/330cal(speed 6-8).

Reality check

I read somewhere the average age of american women to hit menopause is around 51... and bukan sebab taksub dengan 'the americans' yg gunakan diorang sebagai contoh tapi sebab its their research material yg most readily available & accessible.

Anyway...according to the mayo clinic (www.mayoclinic.com/health/menopause): Technically, you don't actually "hit" menopause until it's been one year since your final menstrual period. In the United States, that happens about age 51, on average.
sooooo.... since its just 4 more years to go for me, i can safely say that i'm now well into the perimenopausal stage of my life. hmmmmmm...

PERIMENOPAUSE
.... marks the interval in which your body begins its transition into menopause. Perimenopause encompasses the years leading up to menopause — anywhere from two to eight years — plus the first year after your final period. It's a natural part of aging that signals the ending of your reproductive years.

The levels of your reproductive hormones — estrogen and progesterone — rise and fall unevenly during perimenopause. Your menstrual cycles may lengthen or shorten, and you begin having menstrual cycles in which you don't ovulate. It's only during cycles when you do ovulate that you can become pregnant.

When perimenopause starts and how long it lasts varies. You'll probably notice signs of impending menopause, such as menstrual irregularities, sometime in your 40s. But some women notice changes as early as their mid-30s.

SIGNS & SYMPTOMS
Perimenopause causes some subtle — and some not-so-subtle — changes in your body. Some things you might experience include:

Menstrual irregularities. The intervals may be longer or shorter, your flow may be scanty to profuse, and you may skip some periods. As ovulation becomes more erratic, the lower levels of progesterone may lead to longer and heavier periods.
- when i was daro trang tang tang i had senggugut/menstrual cramps which surprisingly went away after my 1st baby... up until i hit 45. now its back in full force along with heavy flow and clotting the first few days. leceh betui laa.

Hot flashes and sleep problems. About 75 percent to 85 percent of women experience hot flashes during perimenopause. Their intensity, duration and frequency vary. Sleep problems are often due to hot flashes or night sweats, but sometimes sleep becomes erratic even without them.
- the hot flashes belum ada thank god sebab i've always been one with elevated body temperature (panas sokmo). factor in the hot flashes and i just might go into spontaneous combustion heheh.

Mood changes. Some women experience mood swings, irritability or depression during perimenopause, but the cause of these symptoms may be sleep disruption or other menopausal symptoms more than the hormonal changes of menopause.
- relatively stable so far

Vaginal and bladder problems. When estrogen levels diminish, your vaginal tissues may lose lubrication and elasticity, making intercourse painful. Low estrogen levels may also leave you more vulnerable to urinary or vaginal infections. Loss of tissue tone may contribute to urinary incontinence.
- eeeek, pls dear God spare me!!

Decreasing fertility. As ovulation becomes irregular, your ability to conceive decreases. However, as long as you're having periods, pregnancy remains a possibility. If that's not what you want, use birth control until you've had no periods for 12 months.
- xpe la kot since i dont plan on changing any more baby diapers anyway

Changes in sexual function. During perimenopause, sexual arousal and desire may change. But for most women who had satisfactory sexual intimacy before menopause, this will continue through perimenopause and beyond.
- maybe it takes a wee bit longer to fire up but once the engine starts its roaring to go hehee.

Loss of bone. With declining estrogen levels, you start to lose bone more quickly than you replace it, increasing your risk of osteoporosis.
- i'm hoping the running helps

Changing cholesterol levels. Declining estrogen levels may lead to unfavorable changes in your blood cholesterol levels, including an increase in low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol — the "bad" cholesterol — which contributes to an increased risk of heart disease. At the same time, high-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol — the "good" cholesterol — decreases in many women as they age, which also increases the risk for heart disease.
- alamak, kena hati2 ni.... bab makan kena jaga lebih.


Adeh...


Double adeeeh.


Nothing much i can do to stop the biological clock from ticking i guess... but i aint taking it lying down thats for sure ;)

Oh and incidentally, i think i've figured out a more realistic alternative to replace my morning runs. nak lari petang after work tak pernah nak menjadi (ada je alasan). and since AH masuk upper sec and her pick-up time has been extended to 1.55-2.00pm, my lunchbreaks usually just go to waste.... sooooo why not i take off to the KSAS gym and pound away at the treadmill!!!! ngeeeeeeee.... syiok tu and i heard they now have 2 of those contraption so tak payah queue.

Trying it out today :)

Monday..

Start of the week.... like the others before it.

And like many others, if you're not careful the week would be gone before you know it. kalau tak bersungguh untuk make something out of it, its just summore time passing you by. bangun tido bangun tido tup tup dah separuh abad.

Gotta make plans. simple achievable plans, plans to ensure that i get something meaningful done on a weekly basis. like updating my recording, my filing and sifting thru my outdated data base. or like making good that threat of throwing away all accumulated rubbish regardless of ownership (so kiddoes beware, consider this a warning).

Get it done. get it all done.

Just do it woman!!!

Another victim

The big C...... its relentless.

About 2 weeks ago mak lost her close confidante & most dear friend aunty miah to the big C and today, it has taken my SIL.

Al-fatihah.

Kak leha drew her last breath about 12.50pm... she leaves behind a devastated husband, 4 children and several grandchildren. because erin who was flying all the way from perth was arriving earliest around 11pm, arwah hanya dapat dikebumikan after 11.30pm at the muslim cemetary, USJ.

Semoga roh arwah dicucuri rahmat dan di tempatkan bersama mereka yang beriman.

Workout Log
AM Run - 4k/30mins/tasik

Awal Muharram

Puas hati..... i started the first day of the new year by completing an 8k run round the tasik this morning :)

Not a great feat by the usual standard but enough for me, especially since i've been more of a couch potato than a pavement pounder lately. its a relief to know the creaky ole knees can still take it laa.

AI made a surprise appearance returning home by express bus. used to be you'd only see him around once in a blue moon but this year, its 2x already. i dont mind at all bcos i love having all the kids home. unfortunately i'm noticing that things are not going too well for the guy.... he's rather emo-ish at the moment and i'm guessing its female related. sigh.. he's not the type to open up unlike his elder bro and since i cant read minds, theres nothing much i can do to help. i really hope you find peace & happiness soon anak.

AH's also having a tough time adjusting to a rather slow phase in her 'relationship' (especially after the whirlwind dates during the school hols) but i'm guessing the bf is a lil overwhelmed with sukma as well as spm looming ahead. kena la realistik kan being students, school and everything else related to it must take centre stage.... it cant be the honeymoon stage forever babe. and ingat no angau2 business otherwise mama will have to take on the necessary actions ;)


Workout Log
Run - 8k/AM/tasik

Eve of 1429H

Sambutan maal hijrah biarlah sekurang2nya diiringi dengan doa... dan seelok2nya dihiasi dengan ibadah serta kemeriahan di masjid & surau. walaupun telah disebut bahawa sebenarnya terdapat **amalan2 dibulan muharram yang tidak mengikut hadis rasulullah yang sahih, namun selagi amalan yang dijalankan itu ikhlas dan tepat, why not. wallahualam.

Doa Akhir Tahun dibaca 3 kali pada akhir waktu Asar atau sebelum masuk waktu Maghrib pada akhir bulan Zulhijjah.



Doa Awal Tahun dibaca 3 kali selepas maghrib di awal/satu Muharram.



(Refer: http://www.islam.gov.my/program/doa.html )


Yours truly dilanda dilemma sebenarnya. mom wants to go to the mosque sometime lepas asar and would probably be staying till isya... myself cant really be with her because Abe comes home around maghrib and would be expecting me to pick him up kat komuter station, with dinner all ready n waiting after a hard day at work. that would usually mean jemaah at home for maghrib & isya.

Lucky thing it sorted itself out this morning when mak announced that she'll be going with our neighbour instead. alhamdulillah, kalau idak payah laa. i just cant go to the mosque when my duties at home tak beres. nanti lain pulak jadinya.

Juggling between ibu (walaupun my very own) & suami is tricky business.

Ooh btw, this morning Abe's bini muda (read: keter bm) broke down, rather conveniently i might add, right beside the drop-off zone of the MAS training centre in kelana jaya. dunno.. it was the waterpump or something like that. had to be towed away but luckily Abe's regular mechanic was close by - stuttguard, taman mayang which also meant free towing services by AAM (tapi had to wait for over an hour sampai cramp punggung).

It's probably gonna take some time i think... but lucky for us a close friend of the hubs has generously loaned us his spare car :) syukur alhamdulillah at least tak la terus patah kaki!!

Selamat Menyambut MA'AL HIJRAH 1429H

Note (**)
Di antara amalan-amalan pada bulan Muharam ini yang tidak bersumberkan sunah Rasulullah s.a.w. yang sahih ialah:

1. Memakai celak pada hari Asyura dengan kepercayaan ia tidak akan ditimpa sakit mata buat selama-lamanya. Amalan ini diambil daripada hadis maudhu' (palsu) yang diriwayatkan oleh Ibn Abbas, bahawa Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda: Sesiapa yang memakai celak mata daripada arang pencelak mata pada hari Asyura, maka ia tidak akan ditimpa sakit mata buat selama-lamanya. (Rujuk: al-Albani, Silsilah Ahadith al-Dhaifah, 624). Ibn al-Jauzi, al-Maudhu'at, 2/116)

Hadis ini hukumnya maudhu' (palsu). Imam Ahmad berkata: ``Tidak ada riwayat (yang sahih) daripada Rasulullah s.a.w. tentang amalan memakai celak pada hari Asyura, dan ia adalah bidaah.''

2. Solat sunat yang khusus pada hari Asyura. Amalan ini juga bersumberkan hadis maudhu': ``Sesiapa yang sembahyang padanya (hari Asyura) empat rakaat, ia membaca pada setiap rakaat sekali surah al-Fatihah, dan lima puluh kali surah al-Ikhlas (Qul huwallahu ahad), maka Allah akan mengampunkan dosanya lima puluh tahun.''

3. Mandi yang khusus pada hari Asyura dengan tanggapan dapat menghindarkan diri daripada sebarang penyakit pada sepanjang tahun. Amalan ini juga bersandarkan kepada sebuah hadis maudhu': ``Sesiapa yang mandi dan bersuci pada hari Asyura, ia tidak akan ditimpa sebarang penyakit pada sepanjang tahun, kecuali mati.''

4. Melebihkan pemberian seperti makanan, minuman, pakaian kepada ahli keluarga pada hari Asyura dengan harapan semoga akan dimurahkan rezeki sepanjang tahun. Ini berdasarkan sebuah hadis daripada Alqamah bin Abdullah bahawa Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda yang maksudnya:

Sesiapa yang melapangkan pemberian (makanan, minuman dan pakaian) kepada ahli keluarganya pada hari Asyura, nescaya Allah akan melapangkan ke atasnya rezeki sepanjang tahunnya. Hadis ini hukumnya maudhu', disebut oleh Ibn al-Jauzi di dalam kitabnya al-Maudhu'at,2/115).

5. Menyediakan makanan yang khas seperti bubur (bubur Asyura) yang dikaitkan dengan sunah Rasulullah s.a.w. atau disandarkan kepada peristiwa Nabi Nuh a.s. yang menyuruh para pengikutnya memasak daripada sisa-sisa makanan dan biji-bijian setelah mendarat dan selamat daripada taufan besar.

Ini juga adalah tanggapan yang tidak benar dan ia bersumberkan cerita-cerita dongeng Israiliyat. Inilah yang disebut oleh al-Imam Ibn Kathir di dalam kitab Qashas al-Anbiya.

6. Membaca doa akhir tahun dan awal tahun. Tidak terdapat sebarang hadis sahih yang menyebut tentang amalan membaca doa akhir tahun dan doa awal tahun dengan jaminan penghapusan dosa setahun yang lepas, sebagaimana yang diamalkan oleh sesetengah daripada umat Islam.

Demikian juga tidak ada hadis-hadis sahih yang menyebut doa tersebut secara khusus.

As-Syiekh Ali Mahfuz di dalam kitabnya al-Ibda' fi Madhar al-Ibtida' menyebut bahawa kebanyakan hadis maudhu' yang berkaitan dengan amalan pada bulan Muharam khususnya pada hari Asyura telah dicipta oleh golongan pembunuh Husain.

Beliau juga memetik kata-kata al-Allamah Ibn al-'Izz al-Hanafi: ``Sesungguhnya tidak sahih daripada Nabi s.a.w. sebarang amalan pun pada hari Asyura selain puasa Baginda.

Ada pun golongan Rafidhah melakukan bidaah dengan mengadakan upacara berkabung demi melahirkan kesedihan di atas pembunuhan Husain pada hari ini.

Dan golongan yang jahil daripada Ahli Sunah menzahirkan kegembiraan mereka dengan membuat makanan daripada biji-bijian (bubur) dan memakai celak, dan mereka meriwayatkan hadis-hadis maudhu' tentang bercelak mata dan melapangkan pemberian makanan dan pakaian kepada ahli keluarga.''

(Syiekh Ali Mahfuz, al-Ibda' fi Madhar al-Ibtida' (Beirut: Dar Kutub al-Ilmiah, Cet. 1, 2001), hal. 271)

Demikianlah beberapa contoh daripada amalan-amalan umat Islam di dalam bulan Muharam ini yang tidak bersumberkan sunah Rasulullah s.a.w. yang sahih, mahu pun para sahabat dan para Imam kaum Muslimin. Justeru, jalan yang terbaik ialah dengan mengikuti sunah Baginda s.a.w. dan seburuk-buruk perkara pula ialah mencipta sesuatu yang baru di dalam urusan agama. Semoga kita semua diberikan petunjuk oleh Allah s.w.t. untuk mengikuti sunah Rasulullah s.a.w.
(Refer: http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/content.asp?y=2005&dt=0218&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&sec=Bicara_Agama&pg=ba_01.htm )

Age

Aduh..... tulang temulang ku!!!!

Take away my regular activities and i'm suddenly left with aching & creaking joints!!! alahai tau la dah tua (four-oh-seven is just round the corner.. gulp) tapi i feel soooooooooo very very the ancient!!! i agree with the fitness gurus that a break of more than 2 weeks is enough to set your fitness level waaaay back. take a long rest and suffer the dire consequences baay-beh!!!

I know it sounds like i'm spewing lame excuses but i'm just not in the right frame of mind to claim my usual 'me' time right now.... not until AH's room is ready. i promised her a room by 2008 and its kinda overdue. but to get her room ready i hafta move the boys accumulated stuff out (since its their room that she's moving into).. and to get the stuff out i hafta get the den downstairs ready first.. and to start on the den i hafta move everything that's in it upstairs to the 'still-under-construction-library'. which all in all means quite a major make-over. and sadly yours truly have been guilty of procrastinating because truth be told, its all a tad overwhelming.

Aarghh... belum apa2 dah penat weh!!!!

But at least AH seems very motivated about school. she's in the class she wanted and hasnt been complaining even tho there's loads of homework already!! which makes me very happy but also very guilty about not keeping my side of the bargain.

Aaarghhh.... sorry baby!!!!

And also a note to the boys, especially AI..... thank you so so much darleengs for giving up ur little haven. i do know how much it means to you and the sacrifice is very very appreciated... tapi its all for adik's sanity ok.

So now its up to me.

I can do it... i can do it... i can do it!!! :)

All 'my precious'

i was spring cleaning my puter and came up with this old pics of my most precious :)

kawaaiii!!!

1997







(Melbourne/Canberra/Sydney Trip)



... and after 10 years still sooooo kawaaiiii ;)

2007



(Eidul Fitri, Shah Alam)

Big trouble

Yup..... i'm on a downward spiral at a time when i should be all fired up with new year resolutions!!

Ever since i can remember, i'd be totally consumed by this deep ferocious hunger one week before my monthly. its like i'm driven to keep stuffing my face... and can escalate to a point where i can even imagine myself devouring a whole freakin' lamb roasting away at the pits. me and me alone, no sharing sharing business lol.

And the saddest part is, its also the time i am at my most bloated self - kembong giler - and that feeling pisses me off to no end. and when i'm pissed, i do the next worst thing.... i binge.... and if thats not bad enough.... i binge at nite!!!!!!

Adeh.

And right now with only one car at our disposal (AF had already cilok-ed the avanza to upsi and we're still in the midst of arranging the financing for another car), i have to give up my morning runs because of the mad rush in dropping AH off to school and sending her daddy to the nearest LRT station at kelana jaya, before making for the office myself.

Sigh.

I feel sooooooo FAT & BLOATED..... a whale!!!!

HELP!!

Tak bole jadi...... even if the heat saps away at my energy like a siphon, i hafta start running in the late afternoon. its that or i'll just go stark raving mad. i need muh regular 'fix'.

School term 2008

1st day of school = massive jam !!!!

I remember those days when the kids first started school and i was part of the proud mommies & daddies anxiously waiting for their offsprings to be placed and settled into their respective classes. i remember scanning classrooms and fighting the strong almost 'primitive' urge to grab them the best seat in class, even if it was already taken lol. i remember..... weelll..... a lot of things :)

You just cant help but be anxious and worried and harassed and.... almost entirely lost in your own world!!! and with that in mind i always have this soft spot for those 'primary one' parents who'll usually be sporting either the 'hyper-focus' look or the 'ultra-dazed' look on their faces. and thats why i bear the grid-lock of cars with a smile.... hardly discernable but a smile nontheless.

AH was in high spirits when she was getting ready for school this morning. maklum la lama sangat berkepok kat rumah pun boleh jadi boring jugak akhirnya. plus the fact that she did well in her pmr and my gabra little girl can now walk tall lol... oh and also plus the other fact that she'll be seeing her bf every schoolday instead of going out on spasmodic dates, which can be few and far between (heh kecik lagi mana boleh dating selalu la anak weh!!!).

Her greatest worry was not getting a spot in the pure science classes but there was also the added pressure of having both bros in science 1 class before her. alhamdulillah she got what she wanted and is now officially in form 4 science 1, smk seksyen 9, shah alam. heheh and pls dont mention anything about boarding schools or hostels and such.... she'd give you a look that could kill you instantly or at the very least leave you mortally wounded lol. she's happy where she is and actually, so am i :) i wouldnt stand in her way if she wanted to continue elsewhere, but what on earth would i do without our regular pok-pek sessions?

So thats that. now comes the time to start selecting good tuition classes but the ground work is up to AH of course. top on the list - BM!!!!! its a tough paper and should never ever be taken for granted especially because its also the basic requirement for all local college entries. the standard has been raised so high that i'd probably fail if i were to sit for that paper again lol

Necessary adjustments

Dengan bertambahnya umur bertambah laa juga masa yang diperlukan untuk menerima & menangani perubahan heheh. for example i cant begin to count just how many times i've automatically written down 2007 whenever i'm minuting out the letters from my in-tray!!

And i've also only now realised i've completely forgotten about getting the 2008 diary infill. i cant schedule out my week because i've run out of pages lol. next stop is surely the bookstore.

So looks like i started the new year with a price negotiation meeting for another istana project. which incidentally turned out to be rather unsuccessful due to the main contractor's failure to furnish us with the necessary info and justifications for his incredibly high offer. hopefully its not an indication of what 2008 would be bringing in. i would so love to cruise thru the year smoothly with as little hiccup as possible :)

Dont we all?

Happy New Year

2008... semoga dilimpahi nikmat & rahmatNYA

Berakhirnya penantian

Soooo..... the results of all 3 kiddoes are out.. finally!!

First on the list was AI and his near miss of 0.03 points to another DL. then came AF with a grade point of 3.4 something or other making it that much tougher for him to realise his target of getting a 1st class upper. and last but not least is of course AH with her still hot-from-the-oven pmr results. all her moaning & groaning the past week didnt really auger well but she pulled it off somehow and came up with straight As... yay.

Congrats babe.... 8 As!! you must've done something right even if you thought you didnt :) and of course babah will stand by his promise of a spanking new laptop for you hehehe.

I would've loved to have gone with AH to pick up her results but seeing for myself how cuak & gabra she was about the whole thing (the nite prior to the release of the results, she slept around 4am) i thought that maybe it was better for her to continue with her plans of going to school with her bf & friends; that maybe being in the midst of her peers was what she really needed.

According to AH they were all gathered in the school hall and had to wait for quite a bit because the overall results were only released after the straight A candidates were announced - all 70 of them. not at all confident with herself she was totally shocked when her name was called out... and from that point onwards everything was a blur. nak hantar sms kat kitorang pun terlupa!! in fact seems that while she was walking about in a daze, her bf was the one who was thoroughly excited about it all!!! hehehe... thats mek esoh for ya :)

I'm glad my girl's happy.... sigh... she's blossoming right before our very eyes :)

In the company

.... of turkmen but this time its just for about a week, i hope.

Just when i was getting used to having a man about the house again!! doesnt help that i'm also 'violently' pmsing :(

Gawd i miss u.

Kerja giler

....... agak laaaa. i'm thinking only demented minds would conspire to arrange up to 15 negotiations in a single day (2 of which is mine)!!!

Apa la salahnya spread it out in say 2 days or 3 for that matter? it'll be easier on the pengerusi and surely much fairer to the contractors. bayangkan the pengerusi's state of mind after passing the 10th negotiation? for all we know he might be seeing RED je lepas tu. gawd, i absolutely dont wanna be in the next contractor's shoes. memang kes naya!!!

But then again, i'm just the macai. what do i know?

Sigh... still waiting for my turn.

Weeding

Life's path is never smooth.... paling skit pun penuh dengan weeds, semak n lalang.

AI called me while i was out doing the groceries and in a rather dramatic tone of voice mumbled out something. i sensed it was something important but, because mama dia semenjak dua menjak ni dah agak pekak, for the life of me i couldnt quite make out what he was trying to tell me.

"Ma, i'm going to *mumble mumble......*".

And i went "Haa?"

"I'm going to *mumble mumble...* ma!!" he repeated.

And this time i went "Apaa?"

"Ish..... mama!!!!!!", and i heard him sighing looooong & haaaaaaard.

"What?", i was still without a clue.

"Potong stim betul la mama ni. ijat kata ijat nak kill myself la mama!!"

This time i heard him loud and clear and was shocked.... but just for a minute because i also heard a thread of laughter in his voice. laaaa apasal lak sampai nak bunuh2 diri ni? bebudak skarang memang senang2 je cakap pasal benda2 macam tu (some are even driven enough into actually doing it and over such trivial matters). my brains immediately went into hyperdrive.. takkan pasal gf plak kot ish ish!!!

Turns out he was EXTREMELY frustrated with last semester's results (released online); seems that he missed the deans list by 0.03 points altho his cgpa was still above 3.5. takpe la sayang mama, if you've tried your best then its just out of your hands. ada la hikmahnya tu.... maybe after 2 consecutive DL's, its Gods way of keeping you humble kot ;)

Apapun dont give up.

Owh and i do hope AF's week long rakan muda expedition out in teluk intan is going well. he tells me he's having the flu..... shessh budak tu pun satu, bukannya tau nak spread himself, mesti tak cukup rest la tu.

KIDS!!!!! a little bit overgrown perhaps but still kids heheh... muh babies -_-

Workout Log
4k/am/where else?!

Love interests

The kids are all grown and i guess they're all going thru that stage of needing a significant other in their lives. its only natural to want to love and be loved in return i guess and i really hope they'll be fortunate enough to find someone worthy of that love.... like i have.

But its not that easy nor is it that simple... bcos even if you do find the love of your life, you then have to work hard at keeping it 'subur & mekar' and not taking anything for granted; something you're prone to do however careful you might be. it usually creeps up on you and before you know it you're both screaming at each other all the time. and i think theres no other way out of it except to stay thankful and keep reminding ourselves, "i truly am the lucky one!".

AF seems to have accepted the fact that its best to let things take its own course and that theres a big difference between being persistent and being pushy. girls hate being pushed into a corner, they really do and he's beginning to appreciate that. AI pulak is finally out of a relationship based on 'tak sampai hati' and is now actively pursuing someone he really likes (but who doesnt seem to be reciprocating). so hes being a little emo... sigh. right now, maybe AH's the only one in a 'happy relationship', until she gets into her 1st fight that is.

It's actually tough on mothers when they see their kids unhappy. bcos when they were younger, she could always try her best to get them what they wanted (within reason of course), be it a shiny new bike or the latest cd or another upgrade of the playstation family. but when they're all grown up and its all about eyeing that dream job or wanting that fantasy girl, then it becomes quite frustrating to be the one just looking by the sidelines and only able to offer sympathy & support. mana boleh pegi to someone and say, eh ambik la anak makcik ni... dia memang baik, tersangat rajin, teramat comel, etc etc hehehe. malu la diorang kan ;)

Doa mama semoga bertemu jodoh yang terbaik dan bahagia dunia akhirat!!

Workout Log
3k/am/tasik, 2k/pm/tasik

Shoe Laces

Just interesting alternatives...




















Workout Log
3.5k/am/tasik

Full house again

I guess nothing makes a mom happier than having all her loved ones around her :)

The last of the family 'wanderer' is back. AF's last paper was on the 23rd but he had to return to TM for rakan muda activities.... now he's back home again; which means its full house till the new semester; which means my cup runneth over yippee yay!! even tho Abe's in PERMATA slogging into his 3rd week of the INSEAD thingy at least he's only about an hour's drive away and not on the other side of the world!!

We're having an 'office warming' jamuan this morning (the horrendous period of renovation is finally over), and i must admit that lately i've been feeling a little outta things here at work. dunno... i guess it has a lot to do with the new management. to put it rather bluntly the new boss rubs me the wrong way. i just cant seem to stomach most of the stuff that shes been doing, and i am trying my best to just go with the flow like i always do. except this time its hard going....

Abe suddenly appeared at the doorstep last nite and between seeing him off and 'mencelor' 10 packs of mee kuning for the jamuan, i was late for work. and it also meant no running. gotta do something about it petang ni tho..... i sooo need to pound that pavement!!

Move that butt

I'm finally out pounding the pavement again.... aaah such bliss to be cooling off the rivulets of sweat!!!

Its been a while so there i was slowly chewing away at the distance (but when have i ever gobbled up the kms... not even on a good day hehehe). such a blessing to have opted for the 8.30-5.30 work hours. nothing beats running in the morning... oh, except for some equally satisfying bit of lovin' of course :)

God thank you for still letting me move this fat butt lol

Workout Log:
4km/am/tasik

Klang Parade

.. if it wasnt because of the fencing tourney i guess you could say i'd almost forgotten its very existence!!

Used to be whenever i couldnt get what i wanted at jusco bukit raja i would then make my way thru the backroads and continue at parkson klang parade. but that was quite some time ago. i dont think i can actually remember that little shortcut anymore lol. in fact when the kids and i went to check the place out yesterday we kinda took the wrong left turn (it should've been the one after the old shapadu toll) and found ourselves enroute to pelabuhan klang utara instead!! haha thats how long its been :)

Yeah its still as i remembered it..... a little 'gelap', a little rundown, but still thriving in its own way. its okey i guess, except for the life of me, i cant imagine why its been chosen as the venue for the junior/cadet fencing circuit. if the tournament is at national level wouldnt it be more appropriate to have it at some stadium or community hall instead of the main lobby of a shopping complex? the space is sooo restricted and not to mention being rather distracting to the fencers. even if it is in an effort to promote the sport but at a shopping mall, and one thats not even all that 'happening' to begin with?! dunno ya. if its all about the money, one then wonders where are the funds for such events? takkan takde kot since sports is such an important aspect of nation building.

Apa2pun lets hope the selangor contingent does well..... go selangor fencers ;)

Manipulation

Manipulation is not in itself a dirty word. if we're true to ourselves we'd admit to being guilty of being a little manipulative once in a while. but when you have a master manipulator in your own home, you can bet life can become quite unbearable sometimes. and when you feel you just cant take it anymore, the sad part is, you cant simply lash out... especially if it comes in the form of your own mother. i've been weathering emotional blackmail & manipulation all my life, i just pray God gives my children the strength to do the same.

Pls stop with the manipulating and just let us love you!?!! pls.


The Process of Victimization
For a long time, I wondered why manipulation victims have a hard time seeing what really goes on in manipulative interactions. At first, I was tempted to fault them. But I've learned that they get hoodwinked for some very good reasons:

A manipulator's aggression is not obvious. Our gut may tell us that they're fighting for something, struggling to overcome us, gain power, or have their way, and we find ourselves unconsciously on the defensive. But because we can't point to clear, objective evidence they're aggressing against us, we can't readily validate our feelings.

The tactics manipulators use can make it seem like they're hurting, caring, defending, ..., almost anything but fighting. These tactics are hard to recognize as merely clever ploys. They always make just enough sense to make a person doubt their gut hunch that they're being taken advantage of or abused. Besides, the tactics not only make it hard for you to consciously and objectively tell that a manipulator is fighting, but they also simultaneously keep you or consciously on the defensive. These features make them highly effective psychological weapons to which anyone can be vulnerable. It's hard to think clearly when someone has you emotionally on the run.

All of us have weaknesses and insecurities that a clever manipulator might exploit. Sometimes, we're aware of these weaknesses and how someone might use them to take advantage of us. For example, I hear parents say things like: "Yeah, I know I have a big guilt button." – But at the time their manipulative child is busily pushing that button, they can easily forget what's really going on. Besides, sometimes we're unaware of our biggest vulnerabilities. Manipulators often know us better than we know ourselves. They know what buttons to push, when and how hard. Our lack of self-knowledge sets us up to be exploited.

What our gut tells us a manipulator is like, challenges everything we've been taught to believe about human nature. We've been inundated with a psychology that has us seeing everybody, at least to some degree, as afraid, insecure or "hung-up." So, while our gut tells us we're dealing with a ruthless conniver, our head tells us they must be really frightened or wounded "underneath." What's more, most of us generally hate to think of ourselves as callous and insensitive people. We hesitate to make harsh or seemingly negative judgments about others. We want to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they don't really harbor the malevolent intentions we suspect. We're more apt to doubt and blame ourselves for daring to believe what our gut tells us about our manipulator's character.

Recognizing Aggressive Agendas
Accepting how fundamental it is for people to fight for the things they want and becoming more aware of the subtle, underhanded ways people can and do fight in their daily endeavors and relationships can be very consciousness expanding. Learning to recognize an aggressive move when somebody makes one and learning how to handle oneself in any of life's many battles, has turned out to be the most empowering experience for the manipulation victims with whom I've worked. It's how they eventually freed themselves from their manipulator's dominance and control and gained a much needed boost to their own sense of self esteem. Recognizing the inherent aggression in manipulative behavior and becoming more aware of the slick, surreptitious ways that manipulative people prefer to aggress against us is extremely important. Not recognizing and accurately labeling their subtly aggressive moves causes most people to misinterpret the behavior of manipulators and, therefore, fail to respond to them in an appropriate fashion. Recognizing when and how manipulators are fighting with covertly aggressive tactics is essential.

Defense Mechanisms and Offensive Tactics
Almost everyone is familiar with the term defense mechanism. Defense mechanisms are the "automatic" (i.e. unconscious) mental behaviors all of us employ to protect or defend ourselves from the "threat" of some emotional pain. More specifically, ego defense mechanisms are mental behaviors we use to "defend" our self-images from "invitations" to feel ashamed or guilty about something. There are many different kinds of ego defenses and the more traditional (psychodynamic) theories of personality have always tended to distinguish the various personality types, at least in part, by the types of ego defenses they prefer to use. One of the problems with psychodynamic approaches to understanding human behavior is that they tend to depict people as most always afraid of something and defending or protecting themselves in some way; even when they're in the act of aggressing. Covert-aggressive personalities (indeed all aggressive personalities) use a variety of mental behaviors and interpersonal maneuvers to help ensure they get what they want. Some of these behaviors have been traditionally thought of as defense mechanisms.

While, from a certain perspective we might say someone engaging in these behaviors is defending their ego from any sense of shame or guilt, it's important to realize that at the time the aggressor is exhibiting these behaviors, he is not primarily defending (i.e. attempting to prevent some internally painful event from occurring), but rather fighting to maintain position, gain power and to remove any obstacles (both internal and external) in the way of getting what he wants. Seeing the aggressor as on the defensive in any sense is a set-up for victimization. Recognizing that they're primarily on the offensive, mentally prepares a person for the decisive action they need to take in order to avoid being run over. Therefore, I think it's best to conceptualize many of the mental behaviors (no matter how "automatic" or "unconscious" they may appear) we often think of as defense mechanisms, as offensive power tactics, because aggressive personalities employ them primarily to manipulate, control and achieve dominance over others. Rather than trying to prevent something emotionally painful or dreadful from happening, anyone using these tactics is primarily trying to ensure that something they want to happen does indeed happen.

the principal tactics covert-aggressive personalities use to ensure they get their way and maintain a position of power over their victims:

Denial – This is when the aggressor refuses to admit that they've done something harmful or hurtful when they clearly have. It's a way they lie (to themselves as well as to others) about their aggressive intentions. This "Who... Me?" tactic is a way of "playing innocent," and invites the victim to feel unjustified in confronting the aggressor about the inappropriateness of a behavior. It's also the way the aggressor gives him/herself permission to keep right on doing what they want to do. This denial is not the same kind of denial that a person who has just lost a loved one and can't quite bear to accept the pain and reality of the loss engages in. That type of denial really is mostly a "defense" against unbearable hurt and anxiety. Rather, this type of denial is not primarily a "defense" but a maneuver the aggressor uses to get others to back off, back down or maybe even feel guilty themselves for insinuating he's doing something wrong.

Selective Inattention – This tactic is similar to and sometimes mistaken for denial It's when the aggressor "plays dumb," or acts oblivious. When engaging in this tactic, the aggressor actively ignores the warnings, pleas or wishes of others, and in general, refuses to pay attention to everything and anything that might distract them from pursuing their own agenda. Often, the aggressor knows full well what you want from him when he starts to exhibit this "I don't want to hear it!" behavior. By using this tactic, the aggressor actively resists submitting himself to the tasks of paying attention to or refraining from the behavior you want him to change.

Rationalization – A rationalization is the excuse an aggressor tries to offer for engaging in an inappropriate or harmful behavior. It can be an effective tactic, especially when the explanation or justification the aggressor offers makes just enough sense that any reasonably conscientious person is likely to fall for it. It's a powerful tactic because it not only serves to remove any internal resistance the aggressor might have about doing what he wants to do (quieting any qualms of conscience he might have) but also to keep others off his back. If the aggressor can convince you he's justified in whatever he's doing, then he's freer to pursue his goals without interference.

Diversion – A moving target is hard to hit. When we try to pin a manipulator down or try to keep a discussion focused on a single issue or behavior we don't like, he's expert at knowing how to change the subject, dodge the issue or in some way throw us a curve. Manipulators use distraction and diversion techniques to keep the focus off their behavior, move us off-track, and keep themselves free to promote their self-serving hidden agendas.

Early in the current school year, I found it necessary to address my son's irresponsibility about doing his homework by making a rule that he bring his books home every night. One time I asked: "Did you bring your books home today?" His response was: "Guess what, Dad. Instead of tomorrow, we're not going to have our test – until Friday." My question was simple and direct. His answer was deliberately evasive and diversionary. He knew that if he answered the question directly and honestly, he would have received a consequence for failing to bring his books home. By using diversion (and also offering a rationalization) he was already fighting with me to avoid that consequence. Whenever someone is not responding directly to an issue, you can safely assume that for some reason, they're trying to give you the slip.

Lying – It's often hard to tell when a person is lying at the time he's doing it. Fortunately, there are times when the truth will out because circumstances don't bear out somebody's story. But there are also times when you don't know you've been deceived until it's too late. One way to minimize the chances that someone will put one over on you is to remember that because aggressive personalities of all types will generally stop at nothing to get what they want, you can expect them to lie and cheat. Another thing to remember is that manipulators – covert-aggressive personalities that they are – are prone to lie in subtle, covert ways. Courts are well aware of the many ways that people lie, as they require that court oaths charge that testifiers tell "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." Manipulators often lie by withholding a significant amount of the truth from you or by distorting the truth. They are adept at being vague when you ask them direct questions. This is an especially slick way of lying' omission. Keep this in mind when dealing with a suspected wolf in sheep's clothing. Always seek and obtain specific, confirmable information.

Covert Intimidation – Aggressors frequently threaten their victims to keep them anxious, apprehensive and in a one-down position. Covert-aggressives intimidate their victims by making veiled (subtle, indirect or implied) threats. Guilt-tripping and shaming are two of the covert-aggressive's favourite weapons. Both are special intimidation tactics.

Guilt-tripping – One thing that aggressive personalities know well is that other types of persons have very different consciences than they do. Manipulators are often skilled at using what they know to be the greater conscientiousness of their victims as a means of keeping them in a self-doubting, anxious, and submissive position. The more conscientious the potential victim, the more effective guilt is as a weapon. Aggressive personalities of all types use guilt-tripping so frequently and effectively as a manipulative tactic, that I believe it illustrates how fundamentally different in character they are compared to other (especially neurotic) personalities. All a manipulator has to do is suggest to the conscientious person that they don't care enough, are too selfish, etc., and that person immediately starts to feel bad. On the contrary, a conscientious person might try until they're blue in the face to get a manipulator (or any other aggressive personality) to feel badly about a hurtful behavior, acknowledge responsibility, or admit wrongdoing, to absolutely no avail.

Shaming – This is the technique of using subtle sarcasm and put-downs as a means of increasing fear and self-doubt in others. Covert-aggressives use this tactic to make others feel inadequate or unworthy, and therefore, defer to them. It's an effective way to foster a continued sense of personal inadequacy in the weaker party, thereby allowing an aggressor to maintain a position of dominance.

Playing the Victim Role – This tactic involves portraying oneself as an innocent victim of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain sympathy, evoke compassion and thereby get something from another. One thing that covert-aggressive personalities count on is the fact that less calloused and less hostile personalities usually can't stand to see anyone suffering. Therefore, the tactic is simple. Convince your victim you're suffering in some way, and they'll try to relieve your distress.

Vilifying the Victim – This tactic is frequently used in conjunction with the tactic of playing the victim role. The aggressor uses this tactic to make it appear he is only responding (i.e. defending himself against) aggression on the part of the victim. It enables the aggressor to better put the victim on the defensive.

Playing the Servant Role – Covert-aggressives use this tactic to cloak their self-serving agendas in the guise of service to a more noble cause. It's a common tactic but difficult to recognize. By pretending to be working hard on someone else's behalf, covert-aggressives conceal their own ambition, desire for power, and quest for a position of dominance over others. A good example comes to mind in the recent true story of a well-known tele-evangelist who locked himself up in a room in a purported display of "obedience" and "service" to God. He even portrayed himself' a willing sacrificial lamb who was prepared to be "taken by God" if he didn't do the Almighty's bidding and raise eight million dollars. He claimed he was a humble servant, merely heeding the Lord's will. He was really fighting to save his substantial material empire.

Another recent scandal involving a tele-evangelist resulted in his church's governance body censuring him for one year. But he told his congregation he couldn't stop his ministry because he had to be faithful to the Lord's will (God supposedly talked to him and told him not to quit). This minister was clearly being defiant of his church's established authority. Yet, he presented himself as a person being humbly submissive to the "highest" authority. One hallmark characteristic of covert-aggressive personalities is loudly professing subservience while fighting for dominance.

Seduction – Covert-aggressive personalities are adept at charming, praising, flattering or overtly supporting others in order to get them to lower their defenses and surrender their trust and loyalty. Covert-aggressives are also particularly aware that people who are to some extent emotionally needy and dependent (and that includes most people who aren't character-disordered) want approval, reassurance, and a sense of being valued and needed more than anything. Appearing to be attentive to these needs can be a manipulator's ticket to incredible power over others. Shady "gurus" like Jim Jones and David Koresh seemed to have refined this tactic to an art.

Projecting the blame (blaming others) – Aggressive personalities are always looking for a way to shift the blame for their aggressive behavior. Covert-aggressives are not only skilled at finding scapegoats, they're expert at doing so in subtle, hard to detect ways.

Minimization – This tactic is a unique kind of denial coupled with rationalization. When using this maneuver, the aggressor is attempting to assert that his abusive behavior isn't really as harmful or irresponsible as someone else may be claiming. It's the aggressor's attempt to make a molehill out of a mountain.

I've presented the principal tactics that covert-aggressives use to manipulate and control others. They are not always easy to recognize. Although all aggressive personalities tend to use these tactics, covert-aggressives generally use them slickly, subtly and adeptly. Anyone dealing with a covertly aggressive person will need to heighten gut-level sensitivity to the use of these tactics if they're to avoid being taken in by them.

Down with flu

I was quite active last week..... managed to put in 19k with an 8k long run (for me considered as long la heheh) squeezed in and was hoping it was the start of better things to come. unfortunately my Abe ku saye, who just happen to loove sharing, generously gave me some of his virus and now i'm down with flu :(

How to lari with stuffed nose, sore throat, bleary eyes and aching joints?

And its actually quite a waste bcos he's safely deposited in PERMATA going thru part of a 4-week management course (INSEAD), which means i dont hafta squander precious minutes on the road dropping him off at the lrt station anymore, which means more than ample time to run in the mornings.

Just hafta get well sooooooon.

Owh... and would you believe AH's bf tagged along on a semi-family outing to sunway pyramid today. yup he did and considering how very very scared he was (and still is by the looks of him hikhik) of me and AI, it makes you wonder how far this is going.

hmmm.

Crossing the line

Guiding kids towards becoming responsible and compassionate adults can be a pretty heavy undertaking, especially zaman milineum ni.

We can only hope that whatever values we've tried to impart to them has reached its mark because without strength of character (even the shadow of one) navigating their way thru the labyrinths of life can be wrought with pain & heartache. yes we learn from our mistakes but making too many mistakes while we're still young can break instead of make a person. especially when they are surrounded by people who are too busy being judgemental to realise a guiding hand would usually be more effective... we lose so many windows of opportunity to turn a mistake or an incident into a learning experience that way.

Sunday AH went out on a group date. it was all above board and i was the one carting the kids around. drop-off at sunway pyramid was around 12 noon and pick-up was around 5.30 giving ample time for the kids to be safely home before maghrib. AH and me have always practised an open line of communication and she knows so long as she's straight with me i'd allow her certain liberties suitable for a teenager (and all within reason of course).

My mistake was assuming the other kids would be doing the same. rupanya during that excursion one of AH's friends was out with her bf without her parent's permission!!! and of course since i was the one sending them i was also supposed to know what was going on... yeah right!!! to me all i was providing was a safe passage for the children, the rest is up to the parents. all hell broke lose the next day when the young 'couple' was caught smooching in a female toilet somewhere near the girl's condo. one of the guards was alert enough to notice and to cut a long story short, the bf was dragged off to face an extremely pissed father & brother.

Suffice to say he'd been warned never to contact the girl again. ya la pun kan, making out in the toilet!!!!! if thats not the ultimate in being disturbingly sneaky and sleazy i dont know what is!! and because of this outrageous behaviour, the girl's mom tried grilling AH and me about the previous outing. wtf? its her own daughter she should be grilling, not us. yes, it sure is a sorry mess but sad to say, this sorta thing just dont happen overnite. maybe she just wasnt reading the signs right. dunno, but i certainly dont envy her position. its indeed a mom's worse nightmare. semoga diberi hidayah bersama.

There has to be a certain amount of trust but its so freaking disturbing when that line is crossed.

Spunky lady

Aunty miah is one spunky lady.... but today i was shocked to see her looking so frail & weak.

She'd been fighting cancer for the past 10 years and her spunk in handling the situation has been a source of inspiration to me. she never lets anything get her down... not the divorce, not raising the 2 girls on her own, not the big C, nothing. even when her remissions started getting shorter n shorter she was still optimistic and continued her chemos without fail. mak depended a lot on aunty miah's strength when she went thru her mastectomy. in fact i think mak's decision to continue with the surgery had a lot to do with her.

But i guess spirit alone isnt enough to fight off the ravaging rogue cells. she seemed pretty weak when we went visiting her at the makna ward this morning. sigh... i hope she pulls thru again. we have much need for courageous & inspiring people.

Workout Log
8k/am/tasik. it was a cool breezy morning and i just let rip... felt soooooo good :)

Big Day

Big day for my lil gal.... outing with bf (which includes trying to sneak into 30 days of nite rated 18) and her prefect's annual dinner all on the same day. recipe for sensory overload i would say :) but thankfully things seem to be under control.... we are after all talking about 'blur & blunt' AH here.

The boys are still in the thick of their exams. AI's last paper is on the 11th while AF's somewhere after the 20th. cant wait to have them all home :)

Finding balance

Life IS a balancing act..... and its mostly about finding the right equilibrium.

I've always been close with the kiddoes. and with the sort of medical history they've had, how could i not be? not for them the usual flu & fever. naaaaahh... add VSD/hypertension (AF), embolism/infarcts (AI), spinal tabs (AH) and the picture becomes that much clearer and more complete.

For them it also meant growing up in a rather protected and secure environment. i couldnt help but be a 'little' paranoid especially in matters concerning their health and even tho i liked the idea of having super independent kids, i wasnt all that eager to let go. to me they were like time-bombs just waiting to explode... anything could happen and if something were to go wrong, i didnt want them out of my sight.

As they got older and their health gradually stabilized, they naturally expected more freedom. and i knew then that it was time. time for them to test their wings and fly.... but THEY had to help ME slowly let them go; THEY had to help ME see for myself they were able to manage..... by building up the trust in their ability to cope and handle life.

So now comes the question of, how much to let go and how fast? ooh the boyz are doing just fine, after they turned 18 they pretty much get to do what they want (all within reason of course lol). its AH that i'm a little unsure of. the reason being she's only 15 and even if she looks her age, she's actually quite matured in her approach to life, relationships and people in general. she has surprised me a couple of times with her insight and intuition where her bf is concerned, and the amount of self-control that she's showing in dealing with meddling exes and disturbing 'friends' is something that puts her in a different category altogether. thing is, i still see glimpses of my naive & innocent little baby so it gets to be a little contradictory at times.

She's obviously more matured than her bros so..
do i treat this as a serious relationship or is it just 'summer love'?
do i let it take its own course or put a curb to the obviously escalating feelings?
do i allow them time together? group dates? outings? and if so how often?
.. these are among the few questions thats been playing thru my mind.

I know i'm dealing with teenagers and even though they seem ok, i'm the 'sane adult' here so i guess i hafta be the one to look out for that balance.... that is until they're both that much 'older' :)

Workout Log
4k/am/tasik

Trial run

Okaaaaaaaaaaay....... so its not going to be as simple as i thought it would be.

Since Abe came back from his caspian sea 'adventure', we've been trying to sort out the transport problem that has inevitably popped up and the mechanics of supply vs demand... i.e. 2 kereta vs 3 keperluan. in his father's absence AF has been enjoying full use of my avanza while i've been using abe's beemer. now that ze bozz is back he's supposed to hand over the car (a condition he's very well aware of) tapi sbb sekarang ni tengah exam week kitorang plak yang tak sampai hati nak tarik balik so ze bozz dengan bermurah hatinya telah sanggup untuk naik LRT to work and back... provided of course i send him off kat the nearest LRT station which in our case was in kelana jaya.

This meant leaving the house before 7am because we had to drop AH off to school first. and because any later than that would mean being stuck in an even horribler jam than the ones we were facing. zup zap zup zap... i usually could barely just make it to work (selalunya with only 2-3 mins to spare even with all my mad dashing). and all thoughts of resuming my morning runs had to be squashed before it can even manifest itself.

Now with the waktu anjal, berbunga la kembali hati yours truly untuk beraksi semula. semalam my backpack keperluan telah pun disiapkan dengan penuh semangatnya and placed most strategically beside the front door along with my briefcase (macam la nak terlupa hehe). after the usual dashing around i made it to the tasik parking lot 2-3 mins to 8 am and only then did i realise i didnt actually have a whole 30 mins to spare!!!! instead i only had at my disposal 15-20 mins because then i needed 10 mins at the very least to make it to the office in time!!!!!!!! laaaaa 15 mins je..... dapat la about 2-3 km depending on whether i skip warm up/cool down. sheeesh, lorat gak dibuat nya!!!

So until we resolve the transport issue, it'll still be an uphill battle for me to stick to my morning run. hmmmphhh... ape2 laaa.

Workout Log
2 km/am/tasik

Waktu anjal

Sheeesh..... i almost missed the 'waktu anjal' boat!!

A couple of months back when people in selangor were finally contemplating the relevance of implementing the flexi-time that all federal staff were already enjoying, i'd submitted my application for the 3rd option: WP3 8.30am - 5.30pm. then came the news they were going to postpone it indefinitely and everyone's hope of flexi mexi time was dashed. work went on as usual and all was forgotten but somehow, somewhere along the line, unbeknownst to me, the whole flexi thingy was on again and i missed resending my application!!! *&%$!!/# puhleeze make up ur mind people... and when u finally do, let me in on it too will ya!!!

I really really hafta go for it - with mak not as active as she used to be n house chores stacked high against me - 30 mins sure could make a hell of a lot of difference!!! and if i got all the chores done early, i could even go on my runs every single day and with a lot more time to spare yee-haaa.

So first thing i did was to go see the EO and tried to explain my predicament as best i could (of course she doesnt hafta to know about the running heheh..... after all i'm already up at 4.30am to make sure everythings settled on the homefront) and as luck would have it she agreed!!

Finally some breathing space :)

Sesak

Ketat dada.... thats what happens when i dont get to open up my lungs by huffing n puffing away out on the pavement.

And neither is the thoughtless popping of cookies or mindless crunching of readily available krepek helping me in any way..... sheesh.

So nak tak nak yours truly gagahkan juga keluar into the late afternoon heat to slowly jog round the neighbourhood (dogs be dammed). i've always avoided running in the late afternoon (the heat saps away at my energy in an instant) and it was certainly hard going at first (maklum la kan the last time abe and i managed to venture out was probably 4-5 days after raya when shah alam streets were still vacant and it was a great pleasure to run)..... but after a while i slowly eased into my regular rhythm and all was well again :)

Its been 2 consecutive days now. did about 3km yesterday and about 2km today. like i said, all is well and life is starting to look pretty good again. now all i need is to keep it going.

Workout Log
29/10/07 - 3km/pm/seksyen 9 (outer route)
30/10/07 - 2km/pm/seksyen 9 (inner route)

Undoing the good

Here in our merry lil corner of the world, syawal comes with a 1001 manner of open houses... by the end of which the good rendered by ramadhan dwindles into nothingness. weeeell almost la.. (cant a woman exaggerate a little just to strengthen her point? heheh).

Actually i havent really gone to all that many open houses mostly because the man likes relaxing at home (which translates into that much more entertaining n cooking for me). but theres just no end to the food is there? sana makanan sini makanan.... and all this eating right in the wake of ramadhan al-mubarak is rather disturbing n disquieting. you get to thinking, whats the friggin' point of all that fasting and abstaining we'd done earlier?

Today i had to skip a potluck raya gathering with my semsas batch, nak wat camane the guests kept trickling in. tapi no worries... even though i was kinda looking forward to meeting up with everyone, tetamu harus di dahulukan.

And the other sad part is i've packed in an extra kilo or two since syawal so its back to square one. still havent had the opportunity to run consistently again. sheeesh.... gerrrraaam.

Rindunya kat ramadhan!!

Workout Log
1 hr aerobics - a little tame because they were having a siaran lintas langsung with rtm's selamat pagi malaysia (nooo, i didnt get to be on tv... not interesting enough keh3x).

Meddling exes

You've had your chance... so now gerroff, beat it, vamooz!!

Cant we just rid the world of annoyingly meddlesome & 'over-friendly' exes? my poor girl had the misfortune of having her bf's ex suddenly contacting her during raya. same school but never really friends thus her surprise at receiving the sms. taking it as just another courtesy raya greeting, she didnt really give it much thought until she realised there wasnt going to be an end to the smses. noooooo.....seems like the ex wants to be all chummy with her now!! wtf? something's very wrong with this picture, very very wrong.

Still sangka baik tak pernah rugi and bcos AH's not the type to purposely go out of her way to make enemies, she responded to the 'friendly' overtures. unfortunately things started to become disturbingly annoying when the ex kept bringing up the bf every chance she got. sheesh... apa ni, kata nak berkawan? but looks like maybe theres udang di sebalik mee?

AH's bros (and their buddies.. diorang semua close dengan AH lol) have become mighty pissed that their little sis is being mistreated this way but even tho AH's annoyed and disturbed to the max, i can see that shes smart enough not to let it come between her and her bf. way to go girl. sabar je la....

I'm off to the market. Abe's bringing his golf buddies home for lunch.

A time for change

Theres a time for everything.

Over raya the family decided it was time that 1. AH had her own room 2. the boyz had access to more space.

Since we're NOT entertaining any thoughts of renovating, an extra room obviously isnt going to materialize out of thin air so.... we're shifting the guys downstairs by converting the den (home to the computer, tv, golf paraphenelia) into their new room. that means they (buddies included) would also have total access of the lower area everytime the rest of the family retires for the day. AH pulak can move into the space they'll be vacating. and i, i can start thinking about moving out her bajus thats now occupying a large area of my dressing room. aaaahh the extra space :)

Abe said we'd be dropping by IKEA later to check out what they have to offer after his game.

Projek cuti sekolah la kiranya so no real hurry.

Such a good feeling

Aah to finally have the opportunity to stretch me legs and get the ole heart pumping hard again :)

Yesterday when Abe went out for some brisk walking around the neighbourhood, i was too busy making nasi lemak n such for the 2nd day of raya (which was horribly frustrating bcos i was itching to tag along). today i set my alarm at 5 am and had my rendang ayam and nasi minyak ready by the time he was all set to move out..... no way was i going to be left behind this time heheh.

We were mighty ambitious and for a while there i thought that maybe, just maybe, i'd bitten off more than i could chew. after all i'd taken a break from running the whole of ramadhan. but turns out i need'nt have worried because it was a great run. i was egging him on and egging him on to go that much further and all in all we probably did 5-6 km, with him walking and me jogging (i kept running back to him whenever i turned and lost sight of him... and heeyy, that makes it that much further right?).

Isnt life just peachy :)

Workout Log
5-6K run/ am/ seksyen 9-seksyen 10-seksyen 11 route

Selamat Hari Raya

Salam Eidul Fitri from all of us... to all of you :)


(photo montage courtesy of ijat)

Maaf Zahir & Batin

Man in the house

Finally..... i'm gonna be having my man back in the house :)

He left ashgabat @ 4.20am (malaysian time) and arriving frankfurt @ 5.45 for a long stopover. ETA KLIA 6.25am Thursday and by 7 he'll be back where he belongs.... in the bosom of his family :)

My raya leave starts today. i have been so guilty of neglecting the raya preparations but i'm trying my best to catch up. yesterday AH and me managed to whitewash the front tembok (still a bit more to be done but the frontage is all nice and white now hehehe) and today its shopping time!! its probably going to be one utama or sunway (the new wing is ready) and we're leaving early in case there'll be a crowd later (hate crowds.... actually hate shopping too..... ah well gotta just do it).

Ketulusan Hati

Cintaku tak berdusta
Tak mengenal ingkar
Tak kenal nestapa

Cintaku hanya indah
Hanya bahagia
Untuk selamanya

Apa yang ku rasakan ini
Persembahan untuk diriMU
Kau dengarkan kasihku

MencintaiMU
Tak mengenal waktu
Tak mengenal puitis
Hanya tulusnya hati

MencintaiMU
Tak mengenal ragu
Keyakinan hatiku
Hanya untuk diriMU selalu

Cintaku tak berdusta
Tak mengenal ingkar
Tak kenal nestapa

Tak ada seribu janji
Hanya bahagia untuk selamanya


.. i lay my eternal love before You; guide us to the straight path... of whom You have bestowed Your grace, not of those who earned Your anger nor of those who went astray.

Tak larat

Gawd i soooooo need to buy stuff for raya but....... tak larat la.

I didnt really think that having mak sick this year would really effect me that much. after all the boys are all grown and abe isnt home so there aint really all that much to do at home (dont have any maids since mak never got along with any of them and it became a stressful situation instead of a helpful one). but i guess i thought wrong.

Now its almost a week to raya and i havent gotten down to doing anything yet. the kiddoes raya wardrobe is still na-da (dah beso pun mama gak yang kena uruskan), the house is still a mess (where to start? help), and i havent even identified stuff that needs change or a makeover.

for example:
AH was terribly excited over the prospect of painting our awful mouldy looking front tembok but everyone seem to get all sleepy and wooozy after sahur right till the afternoon. and then it becomes too hot for any outside activities.

I would have prefered to go shopping the same hour complexes open for business but the kiddoes would rather leave after zohor ...... problem is so does everybody else and that means access and parking to such places were scarce, sometimes even impossible. try going to mid valley or one utama at such times and you'd probably get stuck in a massive jam. not a good idea especially during puasa when most malay drivers gets pissed off very easily (they're not supposed to but thats the glaring reality).

Then theres the spring cleaning.... curtains that should have been laundered last month (maybe i'll just dust them?), kitchen that needs to be cleared off all that ridiculous clutter, rooms to be properly dusted, raya paraphernalia to bring out, etcetera etcetera.

And on top of all that i dont wanna miss out on trying to meingindahkan my ramadhan al-mubarak.

Aduh....

So much to be done and so tak larat.

Signs

Yup... its probably another sign of age whether i like it or not.

I'm definitely getting more muddled than ever, the frequency of which rather scares me actually. since abe's been posted overseas, i've been the one settling our bills (obviously) and its been that way for ...errmm almost what.... 2 years now? you'd think writing out cheques and stuff would've become automatic but nooooo...

A couple of days back i was out on my monthly bank rounds. there i was quite happy i'd managed to secure a parking space in an area quite notorious for its lack of. and there wasnt even a long queue at the bank, there were only 2 other people before me.

So when my turn came i happily passed over the slips (credit card n car loan repayment) only to be told that i'd written out the cheque wrongly - there wasnt a sdn bhd for ambank!!!!! huh? sdn bhd? of course there wasnt... i knew that, in fact everyone knows that. and imagine my utter consternation when she passed back the cheque and there, written quite clearly in my very own hand writing, was 'sdn bhd'. laaaaaaa where was i when i was writing that out (probably the list of contractors i was going through earlier at work had something to do with it la kot hehehe).

Ooh and i forgot to mention that prior to the ambank incident, i was at CIMB (on a similar mission) and only after taking a number did i realise i'd left my prewritten payment slips (with all the account nos. that i cant even begin to recall) in the car. so i had to retrace my steps get the #$@#!# slips and go thru the whole process again. sigh...agak pissed laa with myself.

Last nite plak was another story. some time ago i bought myself a rather comfy hoody, one which AH seem to like very much. i'd seen it again on offer when i was browsing around reject shop and thought i'd get her one of her own.. but somehow i never really got round to it until last nite. so cari punya cari nasib baik la i did manage to find a solitary size M in the whole pile tapi ntah macamana when i got back i realised i'd mistakenly taken a size S instead!!!!!! laaaaa punya la frust rasa cam nak menjerit je at my own carelessness..... tapi bcos AH suke sangat n memandangkan size M tu tinggal satu je mama dia pun gagahkan jugak la pergi tukar. weh loteh den tapi apo nak di kato? just hope this 'condition' dont get any worse, sickening giler!!!!!! oh and who would have thought that with mama going all mental, the day ended with an unexpected, unplanned, late nite (almost 11) visit by AH's bf.... hehehe..... talk about it being stranger than fiction.

And the kids seem to be thrown together by circumstances. we were at the mall earlier today, and where luck would have it, so was AH's bf. mak had voluntered my services to tolong belikan digi top-up for my neighbour's indon maid (nope dont even ask me the why's) and lelaki itu was there with his family for supper (after iftar n solat). somehow the two managed to squeeze in a quiet moment sharing some baskin robbins. hmmm thats two days in a row, and with PMR over i expect some development between those two.... gotta keep my eyes on them :)

Almost over

Eeesh lain rasanye bila anak perempuan ambik exam berbanding anak lelaki. i remember the boys dulu bila tanya je 'how was the paper?' jawapan standard was 'okay la' dengan diiringi muka2 selamba yang kekadang tu amat la menimbulkan geram (nak cubit2 je). tapi dengan sidaro pulak amatlah berbeza... segalanya penuh beremosi siap dengan keluh kesah lagi. with such blatant show of emotions maka cuak dia menjadi cuak kita la juga.

Hakikatnya we reap what we sow... selebihnya pula adalah rahmat NYA. dimulakan dengan usaha, disambut dengan penantian yang di warnai doa, debaran dan harapan dan diakhiri dengan hasilnya.

Kita tunggu dan lihat :)

PMR

Prepared or not, my baby's little battle has started today. she's not sick or anything and for that i'm thankful.... at least its a level playing field.

Mon, 1/10/2007
- BM 1, BM 2, Pengetahuan Islam
Tues, 2/10/2007
- BI 1, BI 2, Science 1, Science 2
Wed, 3/10/2007
- Maths 1, Maths 2, Sejarah
Thurs, 4/10/2007
- Kemahiran Hidup
Fri, 5/10/2007
- Geografi

Ganbate AH !!